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@bog-entity

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earlier I was coming back up from skating and one of the starstruck little kids from across the hall asked me, “how are you allowed to drive on the inside?” (referring to the fact that I carefully skate in the hallway and elevator, because swapping shoes on and off for the one-block commute to and from the park is a massive pain in the ass), and I swear to god the dialogue options that flashed up on my heads-up display were
[] Nothing in the lease explicitly says I can’t, and all uncodified rules are merely suggestions
[] I’m probably not, but the only people in this building who are fast enough to actually stop me are the maintenance guys who are all charmed by my kind green eyes and adorable dog
[x] I ate all my vegetables and did my homework so my mom said I’m allowed to do whatever I want
I just got. The single funniest dm I've ever received in my entire life
Characters in media fighting back against the mind control:
developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.
This post is the spiritual successor to that post about David Corenswet:

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i wish i could reblog all the i hate sex posts because they’re terribly funny but unfortunately it’s just not true. i don’t hate sex. i’m literally thinking about it while i’m on the clock. on the clock? i wish i was on the. well. i shan’t say
would you collect rocks with me. be honest
‘how would other people describe you’ why would i know this
no DNIs we just post content specifically catered to ourselves that will coincidentally alienate anyone with whom we would not want to interact

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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does croutons know how to count to 4
his mind is unburdened by the concept of basically everything
i am sick and tired of cramps i think i should be allowed to never have them ever again. why havent we evolved past this
not aromantic but I believe in their beliefs.
"there's no platonic explanation for this" try harder bucko
love is a beautiful wonderful multifaceted nebulous thing that shouldn't be reduced to the strict bounds of Tier One: Romance and Tier Two: Friends. get weird with it. love your friends deeply, wildly, passionately and platonically. cowards
Just some cute little hedgehogs climbing on a grapevine, as they are wont to do. This comes from the 1175 Bestiary.
girl who started a load on laundry: I’m gonna change my life I’m gonna clean my whole house I’m gonna go on a walk

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When a book is bad, oh well, the failed artistry of one rube, maybe co-authors. But when a movie is bad, and you consider the military-like scale of production, man-hours, the money involved: you must understand, it feels like I’ve been at war with the world for 29 years.