Whatever Boats Your Float @boatsyourfloat - Tumblr Blog

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

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never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

taco-bout-a-shit-blog

Yellow

never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog

No it’s red because of his shirt

taco-bout-a-shit-blog

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog

You have no idea what you’re talking about

taco-bout-a-shit-blog

DID I FUCKING STUTTER?

voaga

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

sun-of-a-watcher

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

my-random-fandoms

thetrekkiehasthephonebox

Verified: Microsoft 365 gets massive 45% price hike — and it's all to do with AI tools (Tom's Guide - January 17, 2025)

mothwizard

oopsie i tripped and spilled my link to archive dot org's downloadable copy of Microsoft office suite for 2007, which features no AI tools and is a powerful word processor that still holds up just fine on windows 10!

daniel-oneiroi

Updated with working 32bit link

van1llaskys

finnglas

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

finnglas

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

finnglas

oh no is this what we’re doing now

finnglas

…relic…

*crumbles and blows away on the wind*

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anexperimentallife

cheeseanonioncrisps

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

cheeseanonioncrisps

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

cheeseanonioncrisps

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

the-haiku-bot

Only here the fish

can talk and keeps asking you

to make it vodka.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

rika-mortis

Life is beach

jaypilled

are those my only options

princessmo

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tinyyellowflowers-blog

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

tinyyellowflowers-blog

I absolutely failed at doing this:

frawgs

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

theconcealedweapon

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

tiny-space-whale

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

kegelgod-deactivated20160519

How to spoon:

Dick hard on the butt

Titty in my hand

Kiss ya neck

Hell yeah

toohot-tohoot

What

kegelgod-deactivated20160519

HOW TO SPOON

DICK HARD ON THE BUTT

TITTY IN MY HAND

KISS YA NECK

H E L L Y E A H

starrynet

that’s his little guy!!

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cyber-corp

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

cyber-corp

i know what i’m doing dw

cyber-corp

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

cyber-corp

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

cyber-corp

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

cyber-corp

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

pluto-officially

You're failing.

cyber-corp

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

communist-mannyfesto

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

cyber-corp

?????

enigma-system03

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

cyber-corp

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

cyber-corp

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

cyber-corp

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

legionoftuna

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

cyber-corp

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

cyber-corp

wrong.

pointless-achievements

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

cyber-corp

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN