Hi I'm BM/Toob and wow I missed tumblr This is where I post random shit 'n thoughts and things. Y'know, blog stuff. You can find my art blog at BMscribbles. This blog is still working progress 'cause I made it on my phone really, really fast and I am really, really lazy
It really does say a lot about how romanticized and theatricized alters are online when people go into denial or feel isolated for displaying the most textbook DID/OSDD symptoms.
Not knowing who's fronting, not knowing how many alters you have, not knowing when you switch, not knowing alters' names or why they formed, alters not having names, having no internal world or a very vague one, having no internal communication, struggling with external communication, experiencing alters as different overlapping states of self instead of separate people, hell even just experiencing amnesia.
These are all extremely common symptoms of DID/OSDD, especially when you're untreated or early in treatment. And yet they're all common reasons for why people feel like they don't belong in this community, because the reality of this disorder somehow doesn't conform to the online expectation.
How bad is the state of CDD awareness, even among those who proclaim to have it, that the most common manifestations of DID/OSDD are so underdiscussed that the majority of people with these conditions cannot find understanding even in a community meant for their disorder? When anything that doesn't play into the "alters are separate people and friends in your head" narrative is ignored and erased?
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i feel like I'm seeing more and more she/he he/hers she/hims every day and it makes me so fucking happy . guygirls and girlguys one day we might even get our pronouns on a pin
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
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Hi again! as you might already know based on some of my recent posts, I've recently run into a metric fuck ton of health problems and have needed to re-assess my art output, as well as my financial needs to cover things like medication, student loan bills, etc... so I'm officially updating my commission info! Icon prices have been shaved down, and I'm re-opening the sketch option at 15$ USD to give people a more budget-friendly option :J
CONTACT INFO: If you'd like a commission, please contact me either through tumblr DMs/my askbox or through my email [polymathfordk@gmail]!
(parameters are the same as always, I'll draw original OR fandom content, my only real limits are in the realm of the morally dubious. thanks!)
It's been a stressful few months, but after recovering from a series of nasty infections, being put on a new medication for chronic pain, and going through physical therapy, I can now safely return to school part-time as I try to make up enough credits to apply as a transfer to a liberal arts college next fall!
however, that means I now have a new problem...
so, now that I've gotten through my backlog from before I got sick, my commissions are officially open once more!
There's also an alternative option for those who might prefer a quicker way of doing business...
For $15 USD or more, I will sketch you a character doing whatever you'd like-- or just existing! Just like always these can be existing fictional characters, romantic or platonic pairings, or an original character of yours, but all original designs must include either a thorough written description or a link to publicly accessible visual reference (such as a Toyhouse account), otherwise I cannot fulfill your commission!
>>Link to Ko-fi<<
Additional guidelines:
you can get as experimental or weird as you want! If you're unsure whether I'd be able to do something, please just ask :]
I can draw a very wide selection of things-- furry, human, inanimate objects, aliens and robots, different body types and facial differences, etc., so same thing applies as the last bullet.
My bad for not remembering to say this last time, but unless I explicitly offer them: no refunds!
And, as always, please consider spreading the word to help me meet my goal before August!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I honestly think that nonbinary people should be allowed to be mean* about our genders without getting shit for it more often.
*(Read: Assertive of our boundaries and stood firm on the fact that our identities are deserving of respect)
We should be allowed to make a sour face or take a cold tone with someone when they carelessly misgender us for the fifth time in a row despite multiple corrections. We should be allowed to complain about erasure and ask where our needs and experiences come into play when we hear people reinforcing binary normativity in their discussions of gender related issues. We should be allowed to be visibly/audibly angry with other trans people when they try to forcibly categorize us as fem or masc, or imply that our enbyness is a mere phase that will eventually lead to "real/full" (binary to binary) transition.
Nonbinary people should be allowed to take our identities seriously and expect others to do the same for us, regardless of whether or not we will come off as mean for doing so. Because quite frankly, upon seeing how exorsexist the world has become recently, I think we haven't been mean enough.
I know it's more nuanced than this but I think having a hard policy of thinking anyone who genuinely hates one group of queer people for their identity might as well hate all of us and thus I should block any queerphobic queer person I see can do a lot to save you from believing anything exclusionists say.
"bomb that kills all-" "I just don't get bi women bringing their-" "pansexuality isn't a real thing-" "all lesbians-" "trans men really are men bcs they're all misogynistic predators-" "theyfabs-" "pfft aroace people are cringe-" "nonbinary people are actually all-" Instant block. Goodbye. Not listening. It's for both solidarity with your fellow queers AND to protect yourself, because once a person is convinced to hate one group for their immutable traits they can be convinced fairly easily to hate another too, and thus I do not trust them.
Just block these people the second they pop up, they aren't your allies and nothing they have to say is worth listening to.
By wearing this watch you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor
The Fence has published an exposé on Stuart Semple (of Anish Kapoor 'feud' notoriety) which they have been working on for six months.
investigation reveals Semple / his studio / his partner Emily Mann (who's described as acting as his 'enforcer' in his business) :
mishandled £400k grant of public money intended for a public gallery, allowing the money to flow freely between the public project, his own personal studio and personal projects such as Culture Hustle (his online business selling paint etc)
underpaid or failed to pay many of his assistants to the tune of several thousand pounds each.
former assistants have taken him to court and he simply hasn't bothered to show up and he's threatened to sue former assistants who asked for their back pay
repeatedly funds ambitious projects that never see release eg Abode, an 'Adobe-rivalling' suite of creative software (he claims he still intends to release this)
encouraged a cult-like atmosphere at his studio in Bournemouth
was frequently in debt and having to negotiate with bailiffs etc for his debts while at the same time crowdfunding various projects
ran fake social media accounts boosting Semple and his work
The portrait that emerges is one of decades-long scam artistry tbh and someone who's juvenile, manipulative, narcissistic.
The Fence btw is a decent fairly small-circulation quarterly magazine from the UK which specialises in satire, investigative journalism, culture, and fiction. You can read the piece in its entirety if you register (which is free).
a few links:
The Fence's newsletter from April discusses this article & how Semple has tried to muddy the SEO waters
Semple threatened to sue The Fence for publishing this story - many of you are American so here's the relevant UK law on defamation.
& the subreddit r/culturehustle is worth a look to get an idea of just how badly run his paint business is
I got some of his paints when he first announced the mirrored paint.
The first thig that put up a solid red flag was the shipping material. It's cool that he has custom boxes for his studio, it looked really neat. Then I opened it and saw things like "Not for bean boy" printed all over the inside of the box.
Between Mirror, hyper pigments, and black 2.0, none of them were as extremely out there as the videos on his site made them seem. The colors are vibrant, the black is dark, and the mirror is shiny. But the level the videos showed them at are not levels I can recreate.
So like, he exaggerated as an advertising scheme. Alright, shame on him.
But reading that... Yeah. I don't expect him to sell anymore stuff.
Potential trigger warning for: death feedism, ableism, fatphobia, eating disorders, emetophobia, body image, body checking, sex negativity, self harm, mentions of grooming/human trafficking/prostitution, zoophilia, necrophilia, raceplay (these mostly apply anecdotally to the write-in sections, which you can skip)
The canva charts are fully interactive, so you can mouse over different categories to view the labels (on some sections where they didn't fit). This presentation was designed on a laptop and is best viewed in landscape mode. You could view it with your phone on landscape but some of the text might be small. (Also I'm sorry some of the data reads as "sales" or "employees", I was using presets lmao)
Tl;dr version: feel free to skip the "write-in" sections. I tried to make this as visually appealing & legible as possible, so if you just want a brief overview of the charts, you don't need to read all of the pages in full (73). If you're interested in the entire .csv sheet, it's linked as a canva document for you to see. (Don't worry about the canva account doxxing me, it's one of many throwaway accounts, it was just convenient for the login)
Everyone who said thank you about conducting the survey, you're so welcome and I love you!! I spent hours working on this over the last week, and I read through every single result. Everyone who said this survey helped inform their opinions and came to deconstruct their internalized fatphobia, I am so glad. I'm so grateful to every one of my participants, even the one person who told me they hope I die <3
I wanted to be able to present my results in a visual, accessible way, and although I wish I didn't have to link outside of tumblr, there was no way for me to be able to embed that many images/charts in a post, so I decided on canva because of their chart features.
I had so much fun doing this and I learned a lot in the process!! I got a lot of feedback (both positive and negative) about the answers I provided for each question. My next survey project will be a survey for feedists; I'm just not sure of the precise topic. Next time I will have a more typical 1-5 "Strongly agree" to "Strongly disagree" range of answers, with less write-ins lmao. I received a lot of offers for help from professionals with statistic/analytic experience, but I feel like because my scope was limited (due to the participants being largely tumblr-based) and biased (because of the leading questions or biased phrasing) I had to do the best I could with the data. I still think I got really high quality results overall. I chose to keep write-ins as their own page for each question rather than omit them entirely or add them into other categories, which took MUCH longer than I was expecting, but I think allows for more nuance and in-depth analysis.
Feedback is more than welcome! If you have any ideas/questions you'd like to see implemented for my next survey (for example... a thesis heheh) let me know!
Also anyone who rbed the original survey post for your followers to take, please rb the results so it can reach them, as most people who took this probably aren't interested in following me!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.
Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.
Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.
I'll say it again:
Rumination is a compulsion.
Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.
I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.
And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.
Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.
Like this was genuinely life changing for me.
Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:
