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@bmpersonal

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Hey do you know what rumination is?
Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.
Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.
Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.
I'll say it again:
Rumination is a compulsion.
Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.
I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.
And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.
Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.
Like this was genuinely life changing for me.
Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:
Defining Rumination
How to Stop Ruminating
ERP Exercises for Compulsive Rumination
What to Do When You're Triggered
I'm saying this with no disrespect to Celeste, its fans, or its creators, but if Celeste is the most transgender piece of media you've ever experienced, you need to expand your horizons.
My Life Changed When I Discovered Peer-to-Peer File Sharing at Age 10 by heart__rot
28x28
Acrylic on Canvas
It's largely airbrushed! That's why it doesn't look like you expect acrylic to look, if you're expecting it to have been applied with a traditional brush
I love how art programs have spent decades building tools to ape traditional materials and techniques digitally, while at the same time artists have gone ahead and aped the digital funk of MSpaint and bad photoshop in traditional mediums. That's just really fun to me!
I will Hunt. Down. Everyone. Responsible. For Hurting You 🫵🫵. I will Make Them Pay Dearly. [??] All th money you need..!..The Money You Deserve.!CALL ME!..!.FOUR FIVE NINE CASH. I’M LOWELL. “THE HAMMER” STANLEY. I WANA GETCH YOU..!.AALL THE MONEY THE LAW SAYS IS YOURS
LOWELL. “THE HAMMER” STANLEY. FOUR FIVE NINE
CAAAAAAAAAAAASH

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I love your agreeable and amenable and flexible nature and how none of your wants and needs ever get priority and how nobody even knows what they are to begin with and how you never start or engage in conflicts and never express even mildly unsavory opinions and get along with everyone from every conceivable group, that’s so trustworthy. hey quick question. do you happen to have an enormous pressurized reservoir of rage and resentment you feel like you can’t ever analyze or express because that would break the rules for the kind of person you are and if so, do you think a lifetime of squashing it down might ever backfire?
There are a lot of philosophical concepts that I wish were in more common parlance, but the one I wish people broadly understood most is 'merely verbal dispute'.
care to help me add it to my parlance?
So, not infrequently in philosophy you'll have a debate with someone, go back and forth for hours, and eventually realize... you don't actually disagree on any point other than the definition of a word or two. Your actual positions are the same, you're just calling them something different. You see this a lot in some of the slipperier areas of metaphysics, like in debates over free will. But it's everywhere.
Once you get to that point in the debate, there's simply no reason to continue. You're not going to be able to logically compell someone to use different words, it'd be pretty pointless to even try, and there's nothing else at stake. For a philosopher, realizing that you're in a merely verbal dispute is realizing that you're arguing about nothing, and thus, that it's time for the debate to end.
This is what that one post was taking about.
You can be as offended as possible about the language used, or you can look at the actual intent behind the words.
This man grew up in a time when trans people used that word for themselves. He probably hung out with a few often enough and just absorbed the language.
He was very much using it in a positive context. The barista he’s referring too is probably the only one that makes his favorite drink just right.
This is why Queer elders get so annoyed with the younger members of the community. Too focused on policing the terms people use while there are far bigger problems we are all dealing with.
#this is all true#baby gays PLEASE learn that the words you scream at people online for are still in active use AMONG OUR COMMUNITY IN REAL LIFE#there are trans people who refer to themselves as trannies & transssexuals. there are lesbians who call themselves bulldykes. gay men who#call ourselves faggots. and it's done not in a self-effacing way but in honest joy and reclamation and it is NOT your place as#self-appointed keyboard warriors to bitch at us to stop. YOU'RE the new ones here. learn the culture if you want to survive.#and make the fucking effort to go meet queer people older than 20 in meatspace for FUCK'S sake#i get that you didn't get the trial by fire that the rest of us got but we'll be goddamned if we're gonna let you tell us we're not allowed#to be in OUR spaces smelling like smoke#old man yells at cloud#queerdom#trans matters#twitter dot com#blog together queue alone
This.
I'm 30something and new(a year and change) to my transition and you can pry tranny from my cold dead hands.
I'm also a gay man and you can pull faggot out of my clenched teeth.
I stood on the outside for decades like an orphan in the rain but I never stopped fighting the good fight as an "ally" and now I'm inside I will say and do whatever I fucking want forever because those words feel right on me.
It's fun and it's sexy and its mine and just fuck all the way off. I didn't walk alone through the dark for 25 years to get here to be told by angry children with anxiety what I am not allowed to do.
This is part of what "kill the cop in your head" means, btw.
Stop looking for Rules to follow or punish people for not following, pay the most attention to actions, intentions, and consequences.
This is part of what
“kill the cop in your head” means,
btw.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:
isn’t he beautiful
listen to the SOUND when he bites
and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them
2000 pounds of Good Boy
you get me
I honestly expected like 5 notes, what HAPPENED here
More tags on this ridiculous post:
Wait, thats the 2nd biggest crocodile? Then what does the biggest one look like?
That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia. His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently. Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassius’ record eventually. But for now, Cassius holds the title:
He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.
A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.
And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator. He is estimated to be just over 6m.
This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:
It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark.
The Bull Shark lost.
THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out. The Dominator:
And that’s STILL not the biggest.
The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs). He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines. It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.
And here’s why:
Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah! (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)
@theonewhocheeps
Holy fuck
As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.
Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.
Here’s him with a prey.
And if you thought that you’ll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!
Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.
This crocodile became almost legendary for both it’s size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.
So how big is Gustave?
No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.
His estimated size is of at least 5,5m but some give him over 6m.
The terrifying parts are:
1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.
2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.
3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.
And this is NOT ALL.
Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.
He lived to tell the tale - my question is:
What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?
*Crocodile Dundee voice* Mate, that’s not Gustave:
THIS is Gustave:
And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE. He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.
This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:
And THIS is a god among his kind:
This is it, folks. The Final Form. THIS is what peak performance looks like.
Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship. Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth. EVER. Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates. Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet. It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.
That’s a problem.
Because a crocodile’s skull is only designed to handle so much pressure. Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.
But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISN’T GOING TO STOP THEM. What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces. A crocodile’s skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area. The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.
Compare, 26 inch skull:
vs 29 inch skull:
Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).
And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:
and Purussaurus:
The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure. This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:
and a truly extraordinary individual:
One of the things about Gustave that’s so impressive is how healthy his teeth look. A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth. They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down. Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.
Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustave’s reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:
than the pinnacle of his kind:
Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because he’s a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.
Every time I see this post there’s more crocodiles. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

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We're on Day 3 of waiting for a really important phone call and in the silence of today, I'm finding that this is the first time there was literally nothing I had to do outside of like, taxes
Even in the situation I'm in, it's currently completely out of my hands and the people involved are actually pretty okay right now. Even with how bad and pressing the situation is, right now, everyone is holding up okay and the ball is in someone else's court
Another bad thing hasn't come for the calm yet. I'm just here. It's just calm
It's been so long since it's just been calm without something immediately filling the calm with the haste of a frantic bull. I've missed just getting to just...lay down. Or sit outside for a bit. Just rest and not be anxious about everything that's been happening in my life that has to be tackled immediately lest it get horrifically worse
you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.
Sorry, but if you really want to understand a topic or truly re-educate yourself, you really do have to get into longform content one way or another. There's no way around it. The stuff you need can't be summed up in a snappy 250 word answer.
youll also need to get used to sometimes having to look up vocabulary unbeknownst to you
This is actually such a crucial part of healing from neglect and abuse and I have to add to this.
Because indeed, people who like you will not roll their eyes and sigh at the idea of accommodating your needs, they will value your voice and be upset with you about injustice done to you, not at you for "being difficult". They will be happy when you find a way to live a better life, and help you to get there. If you are struggling, someone who loves you wants to see you smile, not tell you to smile because "you have it so good".
[Video description: Video of a person using a spray bottle on their kitchen countertop, only for the camera to pan over to find another person holding a cockatoo in the same position as the cockatoo imitates the sound of the spray bottle. Both people struggle to hold back laughter in the video. end description]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Living for my younger self. Living for the little girl who didn’t know how to say no to anyone and lived her life in fear of being disobedient and spending each waking moment desperately trying to fit in until she no longer knew who she was and essentially floated through her childhood unaware that she even existed as a real person or had opinions worth voicing. Living for her by handing her a gun and letting her shoot everyone who ever wronged her and turning into a beautiful, loud, obnoxious, irritating man who will never fucking shut up as long as he’s alive because no one is ever going to make his inner child feel scared and unworthy ever, ever again.