past dm with daniel getting his memories back in reverse after he's turned... or actually maybe just the awful shit first— the terror of being chased, the frustration and misery and delirium, the ugly screaming fights, the wanting to be free of armand's hold on him. only the horror and the running away and the addiction. daniel chases his maker for answers, and out of anger and curiosity; each time he catches up their meetings get longer before armand inevitably flees, and daniel wants to be close to him, the desire getting stronger and stronger with every encounter. then the sweeter memories start to drip through.
whatever they had was always fucked up in numerous ways, of course it was, but it wasn't always completely terrible. daniel gradually remembers nights on the couch together watching films, feeling safe walking the streets with him, playful arguments and philosophical debates so involved they lost track of time, the weight of a locket around his neck, the spring breeze on an island, hot blood in his mouth, cool hands on his skin, being held down and held close, welcoming the fangs against his throat, bodies tangled together. "beloved." how badly daniel wanted it all to last forever; immortality by armand's side.
and that fucks him up worse than the terror armand inflicted upon him and the erasure of all those years of his life; the violations of his mind and body. he knows he once fell in love with something so awful, so evil. and now, joined by an unbreakable thread, knowing everything's armand's done to him and to others, spending so much time trying to figure him out, daniel is afraid it's happening again
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