kentucky fried keigo

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

Passed my autopsy with flying colours. There was so much inside me

ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

I referred to my parents as ‘father’ and ‘mother’ growing up like I was an 19th century aristocratic British child who only saw them on holidays and my peers thought this was strange because it was strange. Everyone else called their parents ‘diddy’ and ‘mama’ and a whole assortment of affectionate addresses but I referred to them like ‘mother’ and ‘father’ were their job titles.

ai this ai that how about we invent a printer that works first

to have a slow driver in front of you is a gentle annoyance. to have a slow driver behind you is to have a guardian angel

to take refuge behind a big truck on the interstate is to be a remora whispering sweet nothings in the ear of a shark