You Gotta Dig It To Dig It, You Dig?

Something I think about a lot is when dj khaled spent a day lost at sea on a jet ski literally just because he drove away and got lost and started live posting about it and as he got increasingly panicked he started making like inspirational insta stories about his opps wanting him to fail even though he was entirely responsible for the situation and just started saying shit like “they don’t want you to WIN. they don’t want you to get found when you’re lost at sea in the dark”

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

was at a bar and a 50+ year old drunk white woman complimented me and my friend's outfits, told us there was a campsite up in northern maryland where a lot of gay bears go to have sex in the woods. we asked her how she knew about this and she very aggressively said "because i'm a FAG HAG!!! but i'm not allowed to say that anymore I GUESS!!!"

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

A couple of years ago we were all terribly concerned about the fact that a lot of American high schools are assigning such crushing homework loads that some kids literally don't have enough time to eat or sleep (and all this in spite of the fact that there's no good evidence that assigning homework actually improves academic outcomes at the pre-university level), but now we're hearing stories about those same schools struggling to stop kids from using ChatGPT to write their essays and suddenly It's The Children Who Are Wrong. Like, do you think maybe there's a certain level of cause and effect in play here?

i keep trying to explain to people that teenagers are making mostly rational decisions based on the information they have, and no one seems to believe me

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

From the perspective of an outside observer, it seems as though being a fan of comic books is a form of masochistic torture

Every time The Comic Mutual gets online and liveblogs about reading an issue it's like "I swear to god all these authors need to put in jail I hate this everything hurts but at least there's Scrimblo Jeremy. I don't know how I would do this without Scrimblo Jeremy" and then you look up Scrimblo Jeremy and he's the third cousin twice removed of some iteration of Jason Todd

crazy how often self-identified leftists can learn so much about unlearning biases and unintentional bigotry and yet categorically refuse to apply these concepts to jews. many have said this already but it’s like an emotional support bigotry for them. or projection: a way to offload one’s own guilt & shame for the biases and unintentional bigotry. almost like they need some sort of goat. for scaping purposes

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

actually if u peek behind 10 pm theres just all these secret little extra hours hidden behind there and nobody knows where they come from and u should make sure to use them all up on games👍👍

when tiger met dragon

crouching harry hidden sally

Sitting down and reading the Shining. Never read Steven King before. I get why people both love, and love to make fun of this guy.

i fucking hate being an adult with a slowly increasing number of responsibilities its like one day you wake up and youre like aw fuck when was the last time i descaled the coffee machine

"theres gonna be a power outage tomorrow welp i better boil some water in advance!" "oh gee looks like its time to vacuum the carpet!" GET REAL?????? YOU SOUND INSANE

someday youre gonna be out of baking soda when it matters most and its gonna destroy you