sunlit hope

Like, Grace is in the bathroom, shaving, the curtain pulled to the side and suddenly he stops and says "stop touching my stuff". Rocky, frozen, somewhere behind him, can't fathom how Grace sensed that. He was so quiet. The razor is so loud. Grace's still facing away from him. What the fuck.

Obviously, there are Eridian kids with special needs, and a few of them even filter into his classes. But one specific type of special needs kid has never shown up in his classes, and the only reason he even learned of the condition is because Rocky and Adrien's first pebble has the condition.

It's initially quite a struggle for them to deal with, and Grace sympathizes of course, because the child will apparently have huge learning and academic struggles and will likely never be able to live on their own. That is, until he learns the details of the disability.

Basically, it's a condition where the part of the Eridian brain that gives them their eidetic memory isn't fully developed, and so these kids just... can't remember things the way most eridians do. And in a culture where an eidetic memory is the norm, all things cater to that, so not having that is actually a massive disability.

But Grace is like, so... this kid just learns the same way a human does, or something like. Which is nothing new to him, though he is somewhat boggled at how much Rocky and Adrian struggle with their infant and their "slow" learning curve, even as far as initial developmental stages. Grace, on the other hand, simply treats the kid the same way he would a human infant, and Rocky and Adrien are impressed with his patience.

But, through this, it occurs to Grace that there must be other kids out there with this disability who likely aren't getting the attention and chances in life that they deserve, because Eridian culture is particularly hostile toward this disability, and actively views those with it as unable to function in regular society.

So Grace demands that a special course be put together where he teaches kids with this disability specifically. Rocky is hesitant, as most kids with this disability are home schooled and kind of... kept shut away. But Grace insists and as one of Erid's saviors, he gets what he wants eventually.

His first class is super small, maybe only three kids because so few parents were willing to advertise that their children have this disability. And because of the stigma around it, even those who agreed to it are super unsure and want to be present during the lessons, perhaps paranoid about the impression it will leave on Savior Grace, who is so accustomed to only teaching the most gifted students.

But Grace knows exactly how to deal with these kids. Some of them have varying degrees of function when it comes to their memory banks, which isn't so unlike teaching kids on earth. And so Grace is able to introduce all these tools and teaching techniques that were previously unheard of on Erid (though very normal on Earth) like having textbooks for reference with you at all times and having strategies that are less focused on memorization for understanding, and providing these kids with tools like calculators and teaching them the art of taking notes to look back on, etc etc.

Suddenly, with all these tools that most Eridians don't need, these kids are learning at a much faster rate, and succeeding with the help of all their little tools. And because so many normal eridians are ignorant of Grace's actual biology, it's shocking to them that Savior Grace doesn't have an eidetic memory either (shocking to everyone but Rocky anyway)--that his brain functions quite similarly in capacity to these "disabled" children.

Once this news gets around, suddenly there's more kids in his special classes, and there's all kinds of discourse being inflamed because the real reason these kids can't live on their own or function is lack of support from Eridian society.

If Savior Grace, who is well respected as a genius in his own right amongst the Eridians, can function so successfully, they why can't these kids?

yes, Annabeth is traumatized teenager. that trauma (and her hubris) make her act the way she does. I do think some of her action towards Percy are toxic, if not outright abusive at times. No, I don't think she's an irredeemable evil person.

Everytime he wears his beanie, he loses his agency and right to choose.

Think about it: he wears it when he and Stratt are talking for the first time, before she more or less intimidates him into the car. He’s wearing it later, too, when the building blows up. What else is there to do but to run across that field and hope, hope the scientists are alive. (They are not.)

He’s still wearing the hat when he’s asked to go in Dubois’ place, when he asks for time to think about it. It’s the illusion of choice. He asks and is given that chance to “think about it”, and so the beanie comes off as he thinks. It returns in the montage later, on the roof, as he breaks down over it because he knows. He knows he can’t say yes. He doesn’t understand how anyone could agree to being the sacrificial lamb, as referenced in the earlier conversation with Yao, so does that really make it a decision at all?

The beanie remains on as he informs Stratt of his decision.

He wears it when he gets told he’s going on the mission anyway.

First, a correction: he does not put his beanie on while talking to Stratt for the first time, he puts on his helmet. (Putting your guard up, anybody?) He is unsure, wary of her and her intent, and he makes that known, tries to shut her down.

A second correction: when Grace is informing Stratt of his decision not to go, he is not wearing the beanie at first. He pulls the hat on when he’s telling her she “can’t convince [him], [his] mind is made up”. He thought he had a choice, but it was never going to be that way.

Now, onto the new stuff. That beanie isn’t the only beanie, much less hat featured throughout the movie. I touched on the helmet, but Grace also wears ballcaps, a bucket hat, animal hats, a party hat, and a different beanie whilst in space.

We’ll talk about the space beanie first.

It’s to be of note that Grace is not sent up with the beanie we see in the flashbacks — so he makes do with what he has on hand. That is, he cuts a pant leg off pre-vodka-spree and ties it into a makeshift beanie. He’s actually wearing it when he finds the alcohol. He’s the one inhibiting his choices this time. He’s got zero memories, is 11.9 light years from Earth, with two dead crewmates. What does he have left but to wither and drink?

The next time this particular beanie is worn is when Grace makes the calculations to go back for Rocky, and when he loads up the Beetles and sends them on their way. It’s his choice, yes, but is it really a choice when it’s the person you love most? When the question isn’t “will I sacrifice myself for my best friend?” but “how will I find him?” Because, really, he found his someone to be brave for.

(Interestingly enough, Stratt wears a beanie similar to Grace’s Earth one in the future, after the Beetles return. She’s still dedicated to the project.)

The ballcap is next! I don’t think this hat represents the same loss of autonomy that the beanies do. Here’s why: Grace wears it as he watches everybody having fun, singing karaoke, enjoying themselves while he seems to be the only person unable to do so, work spread out on the countertop in front of him. He goes outside to escape the room, to talk to Stratt, and takes the hat off as he asks about her lack of singing, a friendly icebreaker question, an olive branch. It’s during this conversation that he opens up about his discomfort that everybody seems to be so happy, and asks her about her own discomfort and fears (“must be hard having to ask everybody to.. you know” “actually it isn’t”; “you think you’re going to pull it off?” […] “God willing” “you believe in God?” “It beats the alternative”) only to be shot down. He puts on his hat without another word and goes inside. It’s inside, however, that he is subject to Sign of the Times without the hat. She’s saying “I’m sorry, you’re looking for a friend, for someone with whom you want to be vulnerable, but it can’t be with me.”

He wears the space ballcaps twice. He wears two at once in a short clip of him standing in front of the Golden Records — the thing that kicks him into gear. Coming face-to-face with the Golden Records are part of what triggers him to take the hats off and stop avoiding the corpses in the other room.

(Tucked around this clip is Grace wearing a straw bucket hat, to which I don’t really have anything to say about. Grace gives a different bucket hat [I’m fairly certain] to Yáo’s body before sending him off.)

The next time he wears the ballcap (that same Project Hail Mary ballcap), he’s wearing it on his way to the planet Adrian. What’s more is that Rocky is also wearing one. If we’re keeping with the ballcap=emotional barrier theme, there’s far less of a wall between them now. They aren’t using the long distance of a tunnel connecting their ships with the big, thick xenonite wall blocking them from entering each others’ spaces. Up to that point, they’ve talked almost entirely of science or their mission (and mission-related deaths). It’s not impersonal, but there is a distinct separation that eases very quickly afterwards, particularly once they begin the journey and they hang around more. Forced proximity but both of them are lonely and enjoy each others’ company and neither want the barrier. Rocky may have been the first to chip at that wall, mimicking his movements and recreating Grace’s atmosphere in his side of the tunnel, and further by building the ball, but Grace reciprocated pretty quickly in taking his helmet off (bike helmet core much? Taking it off instead of putting it on) and showing Rocky the mental health room.

(Stratt wears a ballcap on the ship, in front of the room of leaders and scientists. She also wears it when she’s smiling at Grace, the moment Dubois and Shapiro die. She is emotionally distant from everybody, however the existence of the ballcap implies the ability and maybe even want to take it off. Three days. She had three days.)

I know I’m recording these out of order, but I would like to discuss the animal hat(s) next. There is a purple bear, a fox mask, and I believe a rainbow bunny(?). He only wears these while he’s alone, at the beginning. And that’s what I think they represent: loneliness. A bit ironic to have animals portray the lack of another being. Grace is wearing the purple bear hat while he dances with the mop (elegantly dubbed Moppy Ringwald), the fox mask while he tries to figure out who he is, and the bunny hat while he’s drinking and crying after sifting through Ilyukhina and Yáo’s things, including their photos of them with their families. I think it’s loss of connection — and he never needs those hats again because, well, he finds that connection.

Lastly (for now at least ;)), the party hat is pretty self-explanatory. Just like how Grace had worn the ballcap and taped the other to Rocky’s ball, and like he made the space beanie himself, he creates the party hats for both Rocky and himself on board. He even goes so far as to draw and colour them. It’s the only hat that doesn’t really have any sort of negative connotation, born of celebration, even if they’re upset at the thought that they’ll never see each other again.