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Everytime he wears his beanie, he loses his agency and right to choose.

Think about it: he wears it when he and Stratt are talking for the first time, before she more or less intimidates him into the car. He’s wearing it later, too, when the building blows up. What else is there to do but to run across that field and hope, hope the scientists are alive. (They are not.)

He’s still wearing the hat when he’s asked to go in Dubois’ place, when he asks for time to think about it. It’s the illusion of choice. He asks and is given that chance to “think about it”, and so the beanie comes off as he thinks. It returns in the montage later, on the roof, as he breaks down over it because he knows. He knows he can’t say yes. He doesn’t understand how anyone could agree to being the sacrificial lamb, as referenced in the earlier conversation with Yao, so does that really make it a decision at all?

The beanie remains on as he informs Stratt of his decision.

He wears it when he gets told he’s going on the mission anyway.

First, a correction: he does not put his beanie on while talking to Stratt for the first time, he puts on his helmet. (Putting your guard up, anybody?) He is unsure, wary of her and her intent, and he makes that known, tries to shut her down.

A second correction: when Grace is informing Stratt of his decision not to go, he is not wearing the beanie at first. He pulls the hat on when he’s telling her she “can’t convince [him], [his] mind is made up”. He thought he had a choice, but it was never going to be that way.

Now, onto the new stuff. That beanie isn’t the only beanie, much less hat featured throughout the movie. I touched on the helmet, but Grace also wears ballcaps, a bucket hat, animal hats, a party hat, and a different beanie whilst in space.

We’ll talk about the space beanie first.

It’s to be of note that Grace is not sent up with the beanie we see in the flashbacks — so he makes do with what he has on hand. That is, he cuts a pant leg off pre-vodka-spree and ties it into a makeshift beanie. He’s actually wearing it when he finds the alcohol. He’s the one inhibiting his choices this time. He’s got zero memories, is 11.9 light years from Earth, with two dead crewmates. What does he have left but to wither and drink?

The next time this particular beanie is worn is when Grace makes the calculations to go back for Rocky, and when he loads up the Beetles and sends them on their way. It’s his choice, yes, but is it really a choice when it’s the person you love most? When the question isn’t “will I sacrifice myself for my best friend?” but “how will I find him?” Because, really, he found his someone to be brave for.

(Interestingly enough, Stratt wears a beanie similar to Grace’s Earth one in the future, after the Beetles return. She’s still dedicated to the project.)

The ballcap is next! I don’t think this hat represents the same loss of autonomy that the beanies do. Here’s why: Grace wears it as he watches everybody having fun, singing karaoke, enjoying themselves while he seems to be the only person unable to do so, work spread out on the countertop in front of him. He goes outside to escape the room, to talk to Stratt, and takes the hat off as he asks about her lack of singing, a friendly icebreaker question, an olive branch. It’s during this conversation that he opens up about his discomfort that everybody seems to be so happy, and asks her about her own discomfort and fears (“must be hard having to ask everybody to.. you know” “actually it isn’t”; “you think you’re going to pull it off?” […] “God willing” “you believe in God?” “It beats the alternative”) only to be shot down. He puts on his hat without another word and goes inside. It’s inside, however, that he is subject to Sign of the Times without the hat. She’s saying “I’m sorry, you’re looking for a friend, for someone with whom you want to be vulnerable, but it can’t be with me.”

He wears the space ballcaps twice. He wears two at once in a short clip of him standing in front of the Golden Records — the thing that kicks him into gear. Coming face-to-face with the Golden Records are part of what triggers him to take the hats off and stop avoiding the corpses in the other room.

(Tucked around this clip is Grace wearing a straw bucket hat, to which I don’t really have anything to say about. Grace gives a different bucket hat [I’m fairly certain] to Yáo’s body before sending him off.)

The next time he wears the ballcap (that same Project Hail Mary ballcap), he’s wearing it on his way to the planet Adrian. What’s more is that Rocky is also wearing one. If we’re keeping with the ballcap=emotional barrier theme, there’s far less of a wall between them now. They aren’t using the long distance of a tunnel connecting their ships with the big, thick xenonite wall blocking them from entering each others’ spaces. Up to that point, they’ve talked almost entirely of science or their mission (and mission-related deaths). It’s not impersonal, but there is a distinct separation that eases very quickly afterwards, particularly once they begin the journey and they hang around more. Forced proximity but both of them are lonely and enjoy each others’ company and neither want the barrier. Rocky may have been the first to chip at that wall, mimicking his movements and recreating Grace’s atmosphere in his side of the tunnel, and further by building the ball, but Grace reciprocated pretty quickly in taking his helmet off (bike helmet core much? Taking it off instead of putting it on) and showing Rocky the mental health room.

(Stratt wears a ballcap on the ship, in front of the room of leaders and scientists. She also wears it when she’s smiling at Grace, the moment Dubois and Shapiro die. She is emotionally distant from everybody, however the existence of the ballcap implies the ability and maybe even want to take it off. Three days. She had three days.)

I know I’m recording these out of order, but I would like to discuss the animal hat(s) next. There is a purple bear, a fox mask, and I believe a rainbow bunny(?). He only wears these while he’s alone, at the beginning. And that’s what I think they represent: loneliness. A bit ironic to have animals portray the lack of another being. Grace is wearing the purple bear hat while he dances with the mop (elegantly dubbed Moppy Ringwald), the fox mask while he tries to figure out who he is, and the bunny hat while he’s drinking and crying after sifting through Ilyukhina and Yáo’s things, including their photos of them with their families. I think it’s loss of connection — and he never needs those hats again because, well, he finds that connection.

Lastly (for now at least ;)), the party hat is pretty self-explanatory. Just like how Grace had worn the ballcap and taped the other to Rocky’s ball, and like he made the space beanie himself, he creates the party hats for both Rocky and himself on board. He even goes so far as to draw and colour them. It’s the only hat that doesn’t really have any sort of negative connotation, born of celebration, even if they’re upset at the thought that they’ll never see each other again.

Because they both volunteered to board the Project Hail Mary to search for a solution to astrophage, they were both willing to die in order to give the rest of humanity a fighting chance of making it.

And they both died before ever even seeing Tau Ceti.

And it feels so unfair, because they went all that way for nothing, they died without even getting to try and save the people they were going for.

So they died for nothing.

Except they DIDN’T.

Because their deaths saved Grace, and in turn, saved Rocky and Erid. Without the surplus coma slurry, Grace wouldn’t have been able to go back and take Rocky home, and Erid would have had a much harder time with astrophage.

This isn’t particularly coherent, but I can’t stop thinking about these two people who were willing to die for their world, died before getting the chance to fight for their species survival, and yet their deaths meant the sole survivor of their crew could save both their home, and another.

Grace first passes it to the kids, his students, and they play Earth is Lava with it. The Earth’s future, their survival is in their hands, but not completely, not as much as it should be. They can try, the next generation, but it will be futile. The Sun will die and the Earth will die with it. The child passes it back to him and, attempting to pass it to another kid, they toss it right back at him while asking about their future, about the Petrova line.

Next time we see it, it’s in the little basket on his desk when Stratt comes in. It’s in nobody’s hands — the decision to help hasn’t been made yet. Then Stratt picks it up of her own accord, the Earth in her hands, and Grace tells her not to touch it, to leave it alone, it’s made of lava, but she tells him “it’s not lava”. It’s not what you say it is; I’m right to pick it up. If no one else will do it, I will.

I don’t believe it makes another appearance until the Hail Mary. Whoever packed his suitcase — it must have been Stratt, or at the very least, she had some sort of hand in it because the hackysack was there. Like her drugging him and forcing him onto that ship to go on a suicide mission for all of humanity, she packs the little Earth. He has no choice in it, it’s in his hands now with no one left to pass it off to. The fate of the world.

(It shows up a couple more time but I’d need to rewatch to get a better understanding of the nature of those scenes.)

Which makes it better that Grace gives Rocky the Earth hackysack after they find a solution to their Astrophage problem. But it’s not about the fate of the world anymore, it’s not Grace passing off this responsibility onto somebody else, this is about giving Rocky credit. It’s about sharing his world with Rocky, just as Rocky will later share his world with Grace.

It’s about how Grace giving Rocky the Earth hackysack was the first time it was passed hand to hand, person to person, with acceptance from both sides. It’s about how, before this moment, the Earth toy was either forced on somebody unwillingly or taken without consent.

Art

Rocky sending Grace a xenonite Tau Ceti system, showing him where he is from, even if made to be practical was art. Creating something in the image of something he knew, in a way that he understands how to communicate and hoping that this alien lifeform will just understand

As an artist this was such a special little thing to me

That it was their first instinct to communicate via art. Create something they know. How it's always the first instinct of everything, even the alien life forms to just make

And hope it will be understood

• Grace accidentally(?) raises a bunch of nerds on Erid. Starting by naming them with movie references. Obi-Wan Kenobi is wrangling with Spock on whose turn is it to sit in front of the class.

• Grace def celebrates human holidays with them. Someone on Erid asked him about human cultures and customs, and he figured that he might as well show demonstrations? Eridian children are delighted to learn of Halloween.

• Y'all know who Dr. Tatiana Erukhimova is? Except it's Grace doing the wildest science demonstrations. He sets himself on fire. He nearly poisons himself. He breaks a bone by demonstrating physics using his body instead of an instrument like a normal person.

• Rocky is concerned with the fact that Grace is willing to be a subject of some experiments. As long as he wasn't bound and held down against his will. They start by adjusting light and temperature inside the dome to emulate seasons. Somehow they end up able to grow plant life and some flora. Grace is ecstatic to see the first fleck of green sprout between a crack in the rocks. Plant grow on Rocky too, question? No, Rocky. You breathe high levels of ammonia.

• Grace learns to communicate with instruments. He learns he's good with a DIY piano he made with Rocky's help. But he likes the harmonica a little bit more.

• He learns echolocation. Or is taught by the kids. Sometimes the class is permitted to enter the dome with their tiny little suits, and Grace blindfolds himself to play hide and seek with the kids on the beach.

• Grace finds a drive filled with movies that Stratt may or may not have pirated for him to take to space. They manage to build a player for the Eridians to watch. The kids seem to like Wall-E quite well.

• He knitted the little Earth bean bag himself and tries to pick up knitting in Erid. Tries to teach the kids how to knit too despite... claws. It not working doesn't deter him from knitting the children their own little sweaters anyway.

• Grace def has NOT let go of the terrible puns and references. He's in some kind of meeting with the Eridian scientists, and then he goes like "Whoop, there it is" levels of awkwardness. It comes with being Dr. Ryland Grace, I fear.

• In the same vein: he learns/understands Eridian at the end of the movie without the need for translator, I'm sure he learns of Eridian catchphrases too. He might or might not hang some of it on his walls.

• They figure out a way to make Eridian jewelry that doesn't burn human skin. The moment they do, Grace is immediately flocked by it. Like Florence Pugh in that one scene in Midsommar with all the flowers.

• Speaking of Midsommar, Grace can't dance to save his life. He's got that little shimmy shimmy with Rocky, but he figures that if he were to teach Eridians about human culture he has to act out some of it. He tries anyway, and no one else would know how terrible some of his attempts are.

• He works his ass off to try and help Eridians see color. Reads up on synesthesia, reads all the descriptors he needs. He struggles. White-Blue are cold while Red-Orange are hot. Stars are opposite, question? Yes, well. That's a different story.

• He still records. On his laptop, and on another device that the Eridians made, so his lessons can still be viewed by future generations of Eridian children. At some point in their future, Erid manages to throw a hello probe towards Earth, containing the life Grace lived in Erid. I'm vouching for you guys.

• Grace understands Eridian well enough and could probably reply with an instrument as well, but the puppet show lives on. You're not going to convince me that Grace isn't the kind of teacher to make huge visual aids for his kinds, even back on Earth. He def puts on a show.

—

And now Rocky and Adrian equally love Grace. They always argue over who gets to bring him to their work (Adrian likes to have him for feedback for the bio-dome and Rocky likes to have someone to talk to while he tinkers). They both watch over him when he sleeps and Grace wakes up to two Eridians very, very close to his face.

They’re the couple with the third wheeling friend, except they are all equally happy about the arrangement. Rocky and Adrian go on a date, just the two of them, one time and get asked by no less than six people if Grace is okay.

before you begin to defend her may i stop and ask you: are you simply imagining a genderswapped version of ryan gosling? if so, i ask you again to truly, honestly imagine a woman. is her behavior valid? do you now see her as annoying for refusing to go to space, rather than endearing? is her disheveled style unbecoming of someone getting an opportunity of a lifetime? i ask you to divide your preconceptions of having seen this movie with a man, and to picture yourself experiencing it for the first time, but with a woman.

I do see the value of raising these kinds of thoughts, however, these kinds of questions also must be catered to the audience and material itself rather than surface level information skimmed off vague posts. Excuse my saying so, but Ryland Grace is a terrible example of this. Or maybe an excellent one. He immediately subverts your expectations by being cowardly, running away at most opportunities, crying several times (7-8 times, at least, and isn’t mocked for it). He is openly terrified a lot of the time, wears dorky t-shirts and is super awkward but also genuine and kind, can and will admit when he’s wrong, and expresses explicit fondness for his friend, his friend’s lover, and his students. I cannot speak for everyone, but these traits are some of the things that endear him to me — the things that place him in a separate category than a lot of male leads. A lot of male characters in general, if I’m being completely honest.

Maybe he wouldn’t work as well as a woman (even if I know for a fact that I, personally, would adore her, and I know tons of others that would as well). There are people currently in this fandom who would have disregarded her immediately, you can’t avoid that, but there would also be a group of people who she would have enraptured just as well (who don’t care about Gosling or men).

The way I see it, Grace is important for men and neurodivergents and queer people (and that is not, in any way, devaluing the importance of this film and this character for other groups of people), and I’m glad he’s a good influence, but changing Grace into a woman doesn’t do much for women, does it? I mean, stereotypically, women are usually the ones depicted as the soft-hearted teachers, as caretakers, as the ones who cry and are emotionally vulnerable, and lead with kindness. Keeping Grace as a man sets an example, not just for the aforementioned groups, but also normalizes this kind of man for women. There’s a reason there’s so many people enthralled by this guy who had never given Gosling, or his other characters, a second glance before, including myself.

You’re right that Grace wouldn’t be as well-received as a woman, because turning him into a woman wouldn’t really subvert the gender roles, it would be enforcing what Hollywood already displays, with some minor deviations.

I apologize if this sounds bitter, I’m not trying to be! There’s just a large lack of understanding why him being a man is important that is overlooked, and that I feel the need to divulge. Unfortunately, this is one of the rare instances I believe you can’t switch out the main character’s gender and have a better story for it. For the sake of your post, though, I’ll play along :)

I won’t lie, I totally imagined a gender-swapped Ryan Gosling, but that has nothing to do with gender bias and everything to do with actor-character association. He is the face of the character, thus my brain is hardwired to think of him when I think of the character. I do the same thing when imagining gender-swapped female-to-male characters, and even characters of whom are completely on page and have never had a face to a name. Reading the book, however, a very different person came to mind, and thanks to this post, I am now going to imagine a woman in his stead, simply because I can. (I actually kind of like the idea of book!Grace being a woman more, so a genuine thanks for that lol.)

Another thing I’d like to say, as we are discussing biases and gender roles, is that this can, curiously, be flipped on its head. I can tell you with utmost certainty that, had Eva Stratt been played by a man instead, she would not have captured my attention at all. And maybe that leads into your point on the other end of the scale. Stratt’s character is one we’ve seen many many times played by men — a sympathetic antagonist who does bad things for the right reasons. Stratt being a woman in this role is something I personally haven’t seen; there have been other woman characters like her, but they are usually forced by higher powers or are intentional antagonists or are love interests.

I just think it’s interesting.