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@bluegeekem
🎄One Day until Christmas 🎄

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I've seen so many posts about Mensah's perspective of ART/Network Effect, how have I not seen one's about ART's crew's perspective. Network Effect as told by Seth.
You have a child who is an extremely powerful (somewhat illegal) machine intelligence. It's a good kid, mostly, except it doesn't play well with others. Your kid periodically goes on short trips by itself, and this has always been fine.
One time, it comes back and it's acting... weird. It keeps bringing up things it has no reason to know about and then dodging questions about it. Finally, you get it to admit that it picked up a hitchhiker on this on this trip, even though you have very strict rules about never picking up hitchhikers. This hitchhiker is obviously it's new favorite person. They watched soap operas together. Your kid loves soap operas now. Your kid shows you a bunch of pictures of this hitchhiker, but won't tell you details because the hitchhiker in question is a wanted criminal on the run and also an escaped slave. This is probably fine (you sure hope it's fine).
Then, you and the rest of your family/friends get fucking kidnapped and used as hostages to make your kid behave. You know that your kid 1) will do anything to protect you, and 2) pretty much always goes for violence first, so you have your doubts about any of this going well.
Then, the hitchhiker your kid will not shut up about appears out of thin air in the middle of a firefight on a planet pretty much no one has any reason to be near and says your kid sent it. It proves this by telling you your kid is a dickhead (this is true and works, but still).
After a lot of mutual rescuing, you're back on board the ship that is also your kid, and find out that your kid kidnapped it's wanted-criminal-hitchhiker-friend and all of it's friends, and has been telling them all of your top secret confidential spy information. The hitchhiker is responsible for 90% of the top news stories you've seen in the last six months. Three different governments want this person dead or alive.
Your kid pushes the hitchhiker's resume across the table at you and makes big sad puppy eyes.
Incredible, perfection, hilarity, etc.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Captain Kirk!
Hehe, I’m birthday buddies with James T Kirk. Not bad 😉
[podfic] We were (not) meant to be together
Cody is certain that Obi-Wan is not his soulmate. But that doesn't stop him from taking a chance anyway.
Written by @nook-of-fanfic, recorded by me, as a gift for @bluegeekem for ITPE 2024!
Another DELIGHT!
[podfic] Queen of the Stars
Padmé prepares for her coronation.
Written by @hkafterdark, read by me, as an ITPE gift for @bluegeekem!
It’s wonderful!

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i bet belle and hua mulan would love each other. the filial piety brothers 💪
belle: i respect my father so much
hua mulan: hey i respect MY father so much, and also yours
belle: i would lay down my life for him in an instant, so of course when his life was on the line i didn’t hesitate to set aside whatever identity and thoughts of the future i had had to defend him
hua mulan: that’s crazy i also did that
belle: i didn’t expect that i would end up with more grandeur and authority than i ever could have accessed otherwise, but of course i didn’t forget who i was doing this for or let the power tempt me
hua mulan: 100% with you sister
belle: also the giant bloodthirsty cat creature gives insane dick like you wouldn’t even believe
hua mulan: the what
The Garage, Coney Island Design and Construction
My fanart homage to @cesperanza's 4 Minute Window Series which she JUST POSTED THE VERY LAST FIC OF!!
In honour of this and Thanksgiving/holidays and fandom as a whole and this series which is my happy place (if you haven't read it, go read it!)
This is fanart of a fanwork! Fanception!
Unlike @albymangroves gorgeous illustrations, I didn't collaborate with the author here, so don't take this look as exactly canon! (Especially the make of Studebaker haha oops)
See how many references to the different fics in the series you can spot
And what Steve and Bucky might be up to... ;)
These are amazing!!! I am so absolutely gobsmacked!!! <3 <3 <3
Gorgeous
Murderbot, a construct that was built and used to do extreme violence it's entire existence : I hate talking to people but I will try to resolve this situation peacefully if I can, threats only make people panic and then they take irrational decisions. Extreme violence is sometimes unavoidable but last resort.
ART, a peaceful research transportation : I love talking to people because I can threaten them with extreme violence right off the bat and it makes them do what I want (ads more totally-not-weapons to it's research equipment)
Ao3 subscriptions are so fucking wild to me. Every time I write my silly fanfictions and post them 124 people get an email just to let them know that this idiot is posting their fanfictions again. I send 124 people an email every time I write smut. Imagine sending 124 physical letters out just to be like “hello everyone, I put some guys we made up in our heads through the horrors again.” Absolutely absurd. I am kissing all of you on the lips.
The visual of sending out physical letters for AO3 notifs is sending me. (It would be a delight to receive such a letter though, actually.)
It's frustrating that you can come up with the plot of an entire fic in just a few seconds, but writing it all down can take anywhere from never to forever.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Filk Broken Telephone 2024
We highly recommend listening to these by starting with the first work in each chain and going in order!
Chain 1
campaign don’t start til I Walk in [A filk about D&D] (Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)) written by Dr_Fumbles_McStupid, performed by crackfics_georg Summary: A filk about fantasy tabletop roleplaying set to Ke$ha's tik tok written for Filk broken telephone 2024
[Filk] I wanna wreck the realm (Tortall - Tamora Pierce) written and performed by ChaosKiro Summary: What if Roger, instead of just monologuing at Alanna at the end had broken into song? Set to the tune of So what by P!nk, because he is kinda acting like a vindictive ex about it.
Rise a Corpse Army [Filk] (魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)) written and performed by esbielle Summary: After the second siege of the burial mounds, while gathered in Lotus Pier, the sect leaders realize what Jin Guangyao was truly like. They turn to Wei Wuxian hoping he's now on their side. And Wei Wuxian has something to say. A filk set to "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles.
[Filk] Say Goodbye (七爷 | Qi Ye - priest) written and performed by minnabird Summary: Scatter all my memories Like petals floating in the breeze I'll say goodbye This road I walk will take me out of sight (Jing Beiyuan puts away his love for Helian Yi, to the tune of Nina Gordon's "Tonight and the Rest of My Life")
[Filk] This Time (คาธ | The Eclipse (TV 2022)) written and performed by Wereflamingo Summary: Akk marvels at how Aye refused to give up on him in spite of everything he's done. A filk based on No! by Bukahara (which is an excellent anti-fascist anthem, so if you don't know it, please listen to it too!)
Chain 2
Please note, the first two works in this chain have lyrics but no audio, which we've noted right below the summary. When the audio is added to those works, we'll take the notes off! You can wait to listen to that chain, or you can read the lyrics for the first two and then listen to the rest.
[Filk] Costume Party! (Original Work) written and performed by legonerd Summary: A re-imagining of Hell is Forever from Hazbin Hotel. lyrics only—audio not yet added
fun house [filk] (The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Original Work) written and performed by fan_ficcer Summary: looking twice before you leap in faith is wasting time naught left below to catch us but traps of their design we are nothing more than pawns that are meant to be used your choices were made for you before you even tried to move lyrics only—audio not yet added
Sounds of [REDACTED] (No Fandom) written by wilfriede0815, performed by wilfriede0815 and carboncopies
[filk] A Herding Dog's Lament (If We Were Villains - M.L. Rio) written and performed by ShakespeareStoleMyURL Summary:"Judge me, you gods! Wrong I mine enemies? And if not so, how should I wrong a brother?" - William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar or, James grappling with everything that happened during everyone's time at Dellecher, in a thought spiral and accusing an imaginary Oliver in his mind.
Your World (The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells) written and performed by bluegeekEM Summary: Murderbot grapples with the conflicts and realizations that come with the events of All Systems Red.
Chain 3
Answer Me [lyrics and audio] (Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan) written and performed by farkenshnoffingottom Summary: Nico's POV from after he leaves camp to the end of Battle of the Labyrinth, set to Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party"
You’ll stay with me? (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) written and performed by mangotart_reads Summary: Music: “there is a light that never goes out” by The Smiths Context: (major spoiler alert) Harry has to die by Voldemort’s hands to destroy Voldemort’s horcrux inside himself. They’re in the forest while the “battle of hogwarts” is happening at the castle. But before that, he summons his dead loved ones with the resurrection stone. His mother Lily, his father James, his parents’ friend Remus and his Godfather Sirius. They’re younger and happier than Harry has ever seen them. “He was not really fetching them: they were fetching him”. Lily’s death and, therefore, act of love protected Harry so far, but now his selfless death will protect everyone else with his love.
[Pod_together Broken Telephone Filk 2024] I'm Tired (Original Work) written and performed by Mangacat Summary: Hey, villains get depressed too, you know? To the tune of "I'm Tired" by Labyrinth feat. Zendaya - from the soundtrack of "Euphoria"
Rule the World (Original Work) written and performed by Ceewelsh
Everything I Wanted [Filk] (Original Work, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) written and performed by ssleif Summary: Filk for when you got what you wanted.
Chain 4
[filk] you ate my soul already (The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir) written and performed by olive2read Summary: stuck in a hidden pocket of Harrow's mind, Gideon urges Harrow to unpack her shit embrace her lyctorhood
[Filk] Sacrifice (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù) written by irrationalpie, performed by irrationalpie Summary: What do I do with this poisonous gift? Finally knowing the cause of our rift You've got my head spinning, no winning, how did I miss this? Jiang Cheng reacts to the golden core reveal.
Try (Original Work, Fandom - Fandom, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)) written and performed by mahons_ondine Summary: Love can make you do crazy, impossible things. Like give up a life of crime. Or come back from the dead. A loosely Wei Wuxian coded song about getting what you didn't know you wanted.
[Filk] Meant to be Yours (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) written and performed by horchatapods
[Filk] On the Rise (Our Flag Means Death (TV)) written and performed by nonplussed Summary: Post-canon, Ed is haunted by Izzy's ghost (or perhaps just a dark figment of his imagination)
The Inn of Three (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) written and performed by SerenaEW Summary: My Filk Broken Telephone submission for pod-together 2024, based on Schubert's Das Wirtshaus from his Winterreise.
if u ever feel bad about ur limited knowledge of the star wars universe, dont worry! din djarin knows less than u and hes literally in it.
This is one of my favorite things about The Mandalorian
Apple TV+ has officially picked up Murderbot, a 10-episode sci-fi drama series starring and executive produced by Emmy winner Alexander Skar
Congratulations to Martha Wells, who very much deserves that sweet Hollywood cash for her years in the midlist SFF author mines. A big fucking No Thank You to casting a cis white dude as Murderbot, I guess lest we miss out on a TV show reassuring us that cis white men are people too.
To dig into this a little further and evenhandedly: I actually think Skarsgård is a talented actor who's probably capable of doing a very good job with the character, including its agender identity, and this may be a perfectly watchable show.
Also, I don't care. The point of Murderbot is that it is viewed as a disposable non-person who can be both the victim and perpetrator of extreme violence on behalf of its owners, and that it has to learn to claim its own personhood and others have to learn to understand it as a person on its own terms, not their own. It's not that cis (Western) white men are NEVER subject to dehumanisation or viewed as disposable, it's that this happens *much less often* and there is also a wealth of media encouraging us to remember their personhood.
In terms of the reality of casting a TV show, it's true that you do often need a "name" star attached in a leading role to get it funded. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean they have to play the title character. I think an effective example here is the Wheel of Time TV show, where they got Rosamund Pike onboard and shifted the PoV of the story to give her character more airtime. Regardless, the original story centres around a group of young people and they still cast relatively unknown and very talented young actors, including Black and Indigenous actors, to play them. You could attach a famous white man to a Murderbot screen project and do a multiple-PoV story where we're seeing Murderbot from his PoV as well as its own.
But if the question of Murderbot's personhood is central to the story, as it should be, then casting someone *whose personhood would never be in question in our own world* to play it just...egregiously misses the point.
The bisexual to aroace pipeline is pretty much having the right idea and coming to the wrong conclusion. Yeah buddy you're not straight and you're also not gay. No not like that though, the other way around
Yup. Took a while for the realization to strike, too.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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artist's pixiv
artist's twitter
meow! i add sources to uncredited posts. let me know if i messed up!!
thank you so much i love you
where's the version of this where there's a comment from a gastroenterologist saying that the resulting damage is surgically treatable
This one? Found it on discord a while back
imagine risking 10-30 percent mortality for getting dicked down
I need this to exist in my tumblr for those days when I just need to giggle uncontrollably.