You have a child who is an extremely powerful (somewhat illegal) machine intelligence. It's a good kid, mostly, except it doesn't play well with others. Your kid periodically goes on short trips by itself, and this has always been fine.

One time, it comes back and it's acting... weird. It keeps bringing up things it has no reason to know about and then dodging questions about it. Finally, you get it to admit that it picked up a hitchhiker on this on this trip, even though you have very strict rules about never picking up hitchhikers. This hitchhiker is obviously it's new favorite person. They watched soap operas together. Your kid loves soap operas now. Your kid shows you a bunch of pictures of this hitchhiker, but won't tell you details because the hitchhiker in question is a wanted criminal on the run and also an escaped slave. This is probably fine (you sure hope it's fine).

Then, you and the rest of your family/friends get fucking kidnapped and used as hostages to make your kid behave. You know that your kid 1) will do anything to protect you, and 2) pretty much always goes for violence first, so you have your doubts about any of this going well.

Then, the hitchhiker your kid will not shut up about appears out of thin air in the middle of a firefight on a planet pretty much no one has any reason to be near and says your kid sent it. It proves this by telling you your kid is a dickhead (this is true and works, but still).

After a lot of mutual rescuing, you're back on board the ship that is also your kid, and find out that your kid kidnapped it's wanted-criminal-hitchhiker-friend and all of it's friends, and has been telling them all of your top secret confidential spy information. The hitchhiker is responsible for 90% of the top news stories you've seen in the last six months. Three different governments want this person dead or alive.

Murderbot circa the end of ASR: okay they aren’t mine but I am at least a little invested in the continued wellbeing of this circus and these specific monkeys

It loves a trashy soap opera. It’s so soft and gentle with an injured Volescu. It’s favorite human is a middle aged mom who drives carefully and mom friends at her friends and coworkers. It’s so delicate and considerate with Mensah’s kids. It lets Tapan sleep touching it and turns up it's body heat for extra comfort. It likes plays and musical theatre. It's best human friend is a sunshine nerd from Planet Hippy. It keeps a diary. It doesn’t understand the appeal of human adolescents but it’s so good with Amena. It likes decidedly unrealistic media. It cares so much about humans that it’s never met and wants to keep them safe and happy. It gently frets over Three just minutes after meeting it. It gets flustered and confused when complimented or treated with care. It offers to free other constructs, even while actively fighting them. It has criticisms and strong opinions on media. It’s shy. It “hacks” its way into things by asking the relevant bots to be friends and share media. It only ever really scares Amena when she witnesses it's wild grief over losing ART. It stops, gets back in control, and explains immediately when it realizes it’s causing her distress. It lets ART make media requests, pauses to let it process its own emotions, and re-watches certain scenes over and over again until it’s happy, mere moments after ART scares it so badly it goes nearly catatonic, simply because ART asked. It grieves Miki even though it never really liked the bot in the first place. It’s uncomfortable with physical touch but offers to let Mensah hug it and lets her grab its arm when she’s in distress.

but it's kind of a weird meeting because their partner did technically pull up and shove them into a white van while they were standing on the side of the street with your teenage daughter.

and then they took off from the cops with them both in the backseat.

and none of this is really their partner's fault because they were technically being held at gunpoint the entire time (the people responsible for that are buried in a ditch on the side of the interstate now for unrelated reasons).