conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 14 (masterpost here)
Damian: -i just do not see the point in dressing up. Halloween is already so stressful in Gotham, why add a shitty costume?
Jason: are you kidding Day? costumes are the best part, you get to fuck with people so badly.
Dick: yeahhhhhh~ oh my god, Hood, do you remember that year when you were still Robin and we bowled over B?
Damian: which occasion are you referring to? oh and Nightwing, hand me that birdarang...?
Dick: yeah here- so, back when Hood was still on his original life-
Jason: -incredible way of putting it, where are you guys by the way? i've wrapped up my case over here.
Dick: docks. anyway the year before he died there was this fancy Wayne Halloween party at the manor, and everybody who attended had to wear a costume, and it was also the first year that i was like, being nice to Jason,
Jason: he was only just starting to warm up to me,
Dick: yeah, so i said it would be funny to go as a joint costume,
Jason: -and i said we should both go as dogs,
Dick: -which sounded fucking stupid,
Jason: -OK BUT HOW FUNNY DID IT TURN OUT-?
Damian: ok either one of you is telling the story or none of you are telling the story, take your pick.
Dick: alright i'll tell it. so i thought the idea was ridiculous at first, because just dressing up as two dogs? stupid. but then he told me the whole plan and i got on board. what we ended up doing was convincing B to join in on the costume as some shitty attempt at family bonding,
Damian: you got father to dress up as a dog...?
Dick, amused: ooooh no, no no, he didn't even really have to do anything, he was dressed up as our owner. what we had him do was hold the leashes that we were on as his 'pet doggies'.
Damian: ...Nightwing are you sure that Hood wasn't trying to fuck with you rather than father? it sounds like he just convinced you to put on a leash.
Dick: nah nah nah kid, you don't understand, what we did was put on those child harness things? that parents get for rowdy toddlers? and we made him hold onto us the whole fucking night.
Jason: *laughter getting steadily louder* *through a wheeze* stop- stop stalling and get to the best part-!
Damian: ...what best part?
Dick: the uh- *snort* the reason that Jason got him to hold onto these harnesses all night was so that he'd let his guard down and forget that he was holding onto leads connecting to all my and Jason's body weight, and what ended up happening is we waited until he was like, slightly tipsy, in the middle of a conversation with about six different women he was flirting with,
Jason: *wheezing* AND- *cough* AND WE WERE JUST STOOD A COUPLE FEET AWAY AND HE ASSUMED WE WERE JUST HANGING OUT-
Dick: *wheeze* but we were fucking lying in wait, and he just- he had no idea, and Jason gave me the signal and we both just- *rattling cackle*
Damian: ...do you need an inhaler or something..?
Jason: we- holy fuck i need to stop swinging before i drop my grapple hold on- *cackle* i gave Dick the signal and we both jumped up and let ourselves- *wheeze*
Dick: *distant sound of a palm slapping against concrete*
Damian: y- you both just dropped to the ground?!
Dick: *through breathless wheezing* and the- and the leashes went taught and he just fucking got BUNGEE CORDED TO THE TILED FLOOR-
Jason: in front of all these women that wanted to fuck him, too, and his glass smashed everywhere and he chipped a tooth and it was fucking GLORIOUS-
Dick, still laughing: it was so funny- the thing was, was that he was definitely strong enough normally to hold both our weights, but we caught him so off guard he just fucking collapsed-,
Dick and Jason: *silent gasps of laughter*
Tim: hey, guys, i'm all done over here so i'm heading over to you guys. anything interesting up tonight?
Jason, through high pitched giggles: just- *delirious* just talking about the Halloween party we have to attend next week,
Tim: ooooh~ yeah I'm still trying to figure out what to go as; Alfred said i can't go as Red Robin which is bullshit.
Damian, innocently: would you like to dress up together, Drake?
Tim: *slightly confused* oh-? i thought you didn't like costumes?
Damian: i have come up with one i would not mind trying out. what do you say? we could dress up as a group, me you and Jon.
Tim: sure, i guess i could- *voice dropping three octaves* why is Nightwing laughing.
Damian, without missing a beat: he saw two pigeons having sex. so, group costume?
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
tangentwithtanner
dededos
kianamaiart
baratheonpilled
