Trapped in the TARDIS since 2008

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

this post had femcels telling me to kill myself

Hamsterdam

Kontent

Theres no fukin betterer way zum flyen.

You know this website really has changed Tom Hiddleston is being gay as fuck in a TV show and I've seen maybe two posts about it. If that had happened 10 to 12 years ago it would have been inescapable it would have been truly radically inescapable you would have not been able to get away from it

Genuinely why is everyone 12 now.

The worst part is that everyone else being 12 is making me more 12 out of necessity. Like what do you mean my most very strongly held and controversial beliefs now include "cover your mouth when you cough that's yucky" and "it's good to be nice and bad to be mean. You shouldn't be mean to people." That's the shit they used to get mad at me on the playground for.

They teach you this shit on carebears man. They teach you this shit on the smurfs.

let’s travel through the vast unknown with mama

Posts like this are why I'll never leave Tumblr

Sometimes I can still hear their voice

I think the biggest misunderstanding they have of Tumblr is that they think of it as a social media platform when in actuality it's a blogging platform with social features.

I like the use of Metroman here because if there's one thing Tumblr users collectively agree on it's that we want everyone to think we're dead

😔

wish we were still on Tumblr instead of the void

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

not a female 👍

if you ever find yourself thinking “wow I scraped the bottom of the barrel with my energy with that and came out okay!” that’s the devil talking. you did not come out okay. you borrowed energy from the future. you will repay it if you don’t rest and replenish the borrowed energy first.

this one took off quickly - are you guys ok

WIZARD PSA: Chronomancy might be weird and confusing, but one of the few solid rules of the discipline is keep your promises. Time is a library, and you don't want to meet the librarian.

Reblog if you have met the librarian

was anyone going to tell me that the pope's dressmaker posts dick and cock on instagram or was i supposed to find out for myself

waittttt there's more. apparently he was outed as a homosexual by a competitor but the pope was like well the gowns are sickening so what am i gonna do about it? and so he's still the pope's dressmaker even though he said vatican priests tried to fuck him all the time when he was closeted. work

unnecessarily upset that "Hardee's" is misspelled

Well what happened is that I'd never heard of either of those places; @eebeesee suggested it and explained the joke and I was too busy howling with laughter to consider spell checking

I'm totally with you on the Black Sails thing tho because Calico Jack / Max / Ann Bonny is was and always will be my everything.