Blood on the Wall -- A Poetry / Writing Blog

It's a struggle to stay alive these days In this endless sea That wasn't meant for me Or wasn't made for me to swim Sinking further Bottomless Breathless Without cause Without reason Feels like I belong here In this sea After all.

There’s revenge and me There’s me staring at the ceiling Just revenge and me There’s us with the knife Coddling blades Just us Revenge and me There’s us with the rope Tying knots to distract the thoughts Just us as always Revenge and me There’s a cold barrel Staring at us on the floor Cold and hard It’s our ticket home Revenge and me Time for us to head home.

In the end - it will all be forgotten anyhow.

And they still give to rain Another day Another dollar Another lost human Swept among the cannon fodder.

We idle through the notions We don’t want Or don’t even have Wishing we were doing something else Clamoring for something greater than our own Greater than what’s inside our heads Hoping for a secret key To unlock from this nightmare A prison on our prism of hope A route to escape the mundane A ladder away From an irrelevant lifestyle We never even asked for When can we flee When is it safe to land With a world of caught up With big brother Watching our every command.

You know it’s funny they laugh It’s even funnier when they cry They think they have the advantage But they don’t even know why they’re here On this planet Breathing with their little lungs Feeling things They don’t even know what they are Let the ignorant dance free So they all boil down and start to yell when they need me I’ll surely coming running With a shovel in my hand And gladly toss them in Burying their heads Burying their hands In soil In sand.

I made a box for you It’s made of glass It’s okay if you smash it I still have the cast I’ve saved the mold for you So you can make your own In case I’m gone Or if you left this place You can have the instructions So you can figure it out For yourself - by yourself If you want to be alone You can take all I have left All of my stock So you can be rich and alone When we’re both dead.

So where are we going? Why we’re going to get better, silly I swear We’re going to tear The veil of life And feel alright I once dreamed with you I once shined with you In the glory of the sun But now we can see For ourselves The light is so bright Too bright Too bad That we’re on the wrong side.

Still haven’t found my true calling Still haven’t produced my culture shock I sit and contemplate All the root facets of life I sit and rot But what echoes In this time frame What screams out Throughout this space One tiny burst of thought Is all it would take To blow away firmly This entire race.

The cold chill of Winter Withers through my bones As I watch the clock spin Just like all my innermost thoughts But we’ll soon be able to release All this tightrope tension All this smoke room stress And ring the bells When the clock strikes twelve A new road Wil be paved.

Until we all lay down in a box made of wood.

A sense of belonging Isn’t for me Where we all fake our agenda and occasionally bleed.

No one to speak to No one to hear my voice I scream in silence And pretend I know my way What’s best for us Without a second guess Was never for anyone at all.

Searching for something deeper until I reach the floor and drown.

Like a fly on the wall without steam. 

Puts us all to shame.

The name’s dead I come from a reluctant past and a severed head ...Of steam One swing away From cutting the cord Tightening the noose Swinging with the breeze Like I’m floating all day What have these years taught me I’ve ran these circles twice before Laughing when it isn’t appropriate Just when they hold the door I’m tired of night I’m done with day Each day bleeds into another Blurring the pages Setting up this play I’d rather not be the star In moonlight or lime You can forget I’ve been here When I pencil down my name The name dead The only name guaranteed to stay.