āOne more thing, sir. You told me you couldnāt possibly have been at the crime scene at that time on account of your alibi, that being that you were at home playing your PlayStation 3. Now, forgive me, but if thatās true, I just gotta askā how could you have been playing your PS3 if the PS3 has no games?ā
āWhy, Lieutenant, the PS3 is backwards compatible with many PS2 games. I was simply playing one of my many PS2 games at the time of the murder. Surely you are at least familiar with Kingdom Hearts? Iād be happy to show you my save file if it would put your mind at ease.ā
āAh, gee. Kingdom Hearts⦠Yeah, that oneās a classic. one of the best ones, even. My wife loves that little Sora guy. No, I agree. Youāre right, sir. I shouldāa thought of that. Well, Iāll get outta your hair, then. ā Oh, one more thingā¦
I just remembered something you might find a little interesting. See, youāve got one of those black models. With the top-loading tray. And those PS3 models are backwards compatible. ⦠but only for PS1 games. Kingdom Hearts wasnāt on the PS1, though, was it? ā¦ā
āOh⦠yes, how very⦠observant of you, Lieutenant. Well, I⦠suppose I must have been mistaken. My memory of that dreadful night - itās all jumbled, you see. It must have been one of my other games from my PS1 library. Spyro, perhaps. Orā yes, now I remember. It was Final Fantasy 7 - the character of Cloud is in both that game and in Kingdom Hearts. I must have simply gotten my wires crossed. How silly of me.ā
āAll right, then. That explains it. Well, have a good night, then. ⦠Oh, uh⦠I figure I oughta let you know ⦠we did have your memory card searched. We didnāt see Final Fantasy VII on there. Mustāve been a glitch or something. Might wanna get that checked.ā
āNow, see here, Columbo, perhaps if you were spending more time looking for actual clues, rather than harping on my gaming habits, you might have caught the real killer by now!
If you have anything more to say to me, you can kindly say it to my lawyer.
So, if youāll excuse me, I have a Twitch stream scheduled for noon, and I do not care to keep my followers waiting. Good day, sir.ā
āCertainly, sir, Iāll be outta your way now. Oh, ā gee. Gosh, I nearly forgot. I figured Iād mention. We did get one lead. On the murder, sir.
We determined from Mr. Elbertsonās autopsy that he was repeatedly beaten in the back of the head with a small, blunt object. No bigger than about 157 mm longways. Likely a, uh ⦠analog gamepad of some kind. Dualshock, thatās what the lab boys told me. You got any idea what sorta console uses those? I only ask ācause you seem to know about these sorta things. What with you beingā well, being a gamer.ā


























