BKWERM

Life is busy and now that the weather is nicer, I'm not spending as much time on the computer. That said, our pool isn't ready yet but I bought a new chaise lounge today to replace the rusted metal one I had. So expensive but if it lasts, it should be worth it.

DH (I'm changing JD's initials to DH for Darling Hubby as he no longer has the D in his name. He legally changed his name recently so the D no longer applies.) didn't want to buy the chaise lounge when they said it would be six to eight weeks before they had one in stock but it was the beige one that was going to be six to eight weeks. I ordered a dark grey one instead. I knew he wanted to walk out of the store but I liked the chair and it wasn't a terrible price ($800 all in, taxes included) and since I was paying for it personally, he didn't. But, when we got home, he decided we would pay half of it while I covered the other half.

I had a busy week last week. The first event was MG's birthday on May 24. He really likes playing games and so, our friend, AC and I took him to a games' café for the afternoon. We had so much fun and will definitely do it again.

The next event last week was going to the Stratford Festival to see Something Rotten. It was really good. It's a musical and I don't love musicals but it was very funny and I really enjoyed the show.

The description for Something Rotten is that the Bottom brothers, two struggling playwrights in Renaissance London, need a hit. That’s easier said than done when your chief competition is local rockstar William Shakespeare. The Bottom brothers’ plan? Write the world’s first musical!

We went to the matinée and after the show, had dinner at Demetre's Family Eatery. The food is good and reasonably priced.

And, my third event was to see a movie called Baraka. DH and I saw it in the movie theatre when it was released in 1992 and were totally blown away by it. It was like photos in a Life magazine brought to life. It was really good.

However, I didn't feel as awed as I did the first time I saw it. Of course, when I saw it in 1992, I hadn't seen anything of the world and the Internet was still new so I was more easily impressed. I think MG and AC liked it but I don't think they were blown away the way DH and I had been.

The movie was last Saturday (May 30) and Sunday was my recovery day. DH was gone when I got up around 9 a.m. and he didn't get home until after I went to bed Sunday night.

I just puttered around doing chores. I got a lot done but not everything. I'm hoping to get the rest done this weekend.

It was so nice and quiet in the house. Around 3 p.m., I put my book on the stereo to listen to while I was filling capsules with cannabis-infused oil.

And, then I ate a Pineapple Express-infused Apple Square and got really high and played my drums. It was a wonderful day and just what I needed after a busy week.

So far this week, I've only had my regular events, i.e. Cardio Dance class on Monday, Strength, Stability and Balance class on Tuesday, my dad this morning and my drum lesson this afternoon. My drum teacher said my playing was excellent today. I'm always worried I'm no better from week to week so it was nice to be able to impress him a bit.

Tomorrow is folk dancing but it's the last class until September so we're having a little social after class but I don't plan on staying too long as I have groceries to buy and then I want to come home and get high.

I'm not going to my yoga class on Friday as the regular teacher is away and I usually prefer her over the substitute teachers. Last Friday was the first Friday since I started this yoga class where it didn't feel like torture. But, I am going to continue going through the summer because I'm worried if I don't, I won't come back in September.

I'm attending a Fall Prevention workshop on June 12. It and the balance and yoga exercise classes hopefully will help preventing me from falling anymore this year.

Friday night, my friend, AC, and I were supposed to go to a show at the Burlington Performing Arts Centre or so we thought but I got an email from them saying it was actually going to be at the Burlington Art Gallery and it wasn't a show. It was more like a social event with a bunch of people we don't know.

So, AC and I have decided to go see the movie, Tuner instead. My sister saw it and said it was really good.

I'm currently listening to What Alice Forgot by Lianne Moriarty. Sister 3 (AA) recommended it because the author is Australian and narrates it herself. To be honest, I don't think I'd still be listening to it if she didn't have an accent. The story is moving very slowly, in my opinion but it's actually a little bit better now.

And, I'm reading A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas. I really like this author's writing normally but this book has a lot of explicit sex in it, which is a big change from her earlier books. Personally, I don't like it. It seems like unnecessary information. I don't like reading pages and pages of sex in a novel. I'm not a prude; I just don't like it because to me, it doesn't add to the story.

Recently, I've been listening to my Albums to Review playlist on Spotify. I've listened to Ain't it Tragic by Dead Sara (Emily Armstrong's band before Linkin Park), All is Fair in Love and Rock & Roll by The Barrettas, All the Young Dudes by Mott the Hoople, All Together Now! by The Vaniers, American Beauty/American Psycho by Fall Out Boy, American Idiot by Green Day, ...and Out Come the Wolves by Rancid, and Arrows Room 117 by Mad Caddies.

It's my 66th birthday today. I don't feel like 66 and I definitely don't like being 66. I've barely gotten used to being 60 let alone 66. 66 is much closer to 70 than I'd like.

My mum died when she was 69 so once I'm past that age, I'll feel better. My dad is still kicking at almost 96 so I also have his genes. I'm hoping to make it to my mid to late 80s. But, I have rheumatoid autoimmune disease, which is hard on the heart and I'm on medications for it that are also hard on the heart so we'll have to see.

Plans for today include an exercise class this afternoon and dinner at The Keg (a steakhouse) tonight. I'm going to the exercise class because if I don't, I know I won't exercise and since dessert at The Keg alone is almost as many calories I normally eat in a day, I feel I need the class.

My eating has been out of control lately, specifically with candy. I love candy and I have been indulging that craving a lot lately and have consequently gained almost 8 pounds so that's why I'm going to an exercise class on my birthday. That, and the fact that I'm leading an online weight loss challenge are two good reasons for going to today's class.

It's sunny out, which I'm thankful for but still a little chilly, i.e. 13C.

When I started this blog, it was because I wanted to write about my life as I always seem to have a lot going on that might be of interest to others. I'm going to try to get in the habit of posting at least once a week.

This report will include what I'm reading, what I'm listening to and which events I attended.

BOOKS:

I've been listening to this podcast called "Currently Reading". It's hosted by 2 women, both mothers with 4 kids each. The one woman, Meredith has older kids, i.e. in their 20s (I think) and the other woman, Kaytee's kids are all under 10 and she home schools them. She's also a single mother. She reads around 200 books a year, which I thought would be impossible for a single mum with 4 kids under 10, never mind the homeschooling.

But, she includes audiobooks as books she's read. She also includes books she reads with her kids.

I don't have kids but I decided to try the audiobook thing this week.

I took 3 audiobooks out of the library:

A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson - I didn't like the narrator so I didn't get very far into this one.

Split Tooth by Tanya Tagaq - I stopped reading this after 2 hours worth. I stopped this one because I found some of it quite disturbing. I feel like I should finish it but I might try it as a real book instead. My imagination isn't as good reading as it is listening.

The War that Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley - I really like this one. Its audience is actually for middle school kids but I still like it. I will probably finish listening to this one.

I'm also reading an e-book called The Orphanage by Lizzie Page. I'm enjoying this one, too. This one and the audiobook by Bradley are both set during the same time period, i.e. 1930s and 40s.

The problem with "reading" audiobooks is that I also like listening to podcasts and I'm listening to the book during the time I would normally listen to a podcast. But, I will give it a try. I doubt I'll get 200 books read in a year this way but maybe I can do better than my 52 books that I already read in a year.

MUSIC:

I have so few concerts booked this year so I'm currently listening to the following Spotify playlists:

The New Alt

Release Radar

Discover Weekly

Rock Now Presents Best Rock & Alt Songs of 2025

Modern Alternative Rock Mix

All New Rock

I'm listening to these playlists specifically because I need to find more music I like. When I was looking at LiveNation's Canada's website, I didn't recognize a lot of the acts. I don't listen to a lot of new rock now that I'm streaming everything. I used to listen to Stingray radio to discover new music but that's no longer the case.

I've only been to 7 concerts this year so far. I know, I know, that's a lot of concerts for only 4 months into the year but I like to go to 2 concerts a month when I can. And, I try to look for more inexpensive and local music than I used to.

I had tickets for 11 concerts this year so far but couldn't go to three of them due to recovering from illness and my fall.

I have tickets for 2 concerts in May and then I have nothing booked until September. I can't have that so that's why I'm looking for new music.

This Week's Activities:

Monday, April 20 - It was 420 so of course, I got high or at least I tried to get high. Unfortunately, I didn't. I had made a German Apple Cake infused with the Zombie Death Fuck strain. Every 83g serving had 346 mg of THC so I definitely should have gotten high.

I substituted Splenda for the sugar, which turned out to be a mistake since it never really came together like a cake. It was more like a cobbler than a cake.

I don't get high with every strain the way most people do. I think it's because I use cannabis for pain, sleep, depression and anxiety on top of trying to get high for fun. My favourite highs are when it kicks off in my stomach with a little flutter and I don't need to smoke something to kick it off.

I prefer an energetic high as that's how I get stuff done around the house. I have an autoimmune condition and fatigue is one of the main symptoms. My favourite strains are:

Café Racer by Blimburn Seeds

Girl Scout Cookies by Barney's Farm

Jack Herer by Vision Seeds

Pineapple Express by Barney's Farm

Raspberry Cough by Nirvana Seeds

On Thursday (April 23), I tried the Zombie Death Fuck again with the same results so I ended up tossing the rest of the cake/not cake into the compost. Normally, I give the edibles that don't work for me to a friend but since it wasn't actually a cake, I decided tossing it was a good idea.

Tuesday night, I went to see the movie, Sole Mio with my friend, AC. I liked it. It got my typical rating of 7/10.

Friday night, I went to the Hamilton Folk Dancing Association's weekly Friday night dance. It doesn't start until 8 p.m. and ends at 10:30 p.m. so I usually leave at break since I'm normally in bed by 10:30 p.m.

It was really hot in the church where the dance is held but it was fun, nonetheless. They were celebrating International Day of Dance even though it's not until the 29th of April.

On Saturday, I decided to get high with something that I know gets me high and that's Jack Herer. I ate it in an edible form of cookies. It's my favourite oatmeal cookie recipe from AllRecipes.com. I've made these cookies before. They're so good. The recipe actually calls for vegetable oil but I make them with butter and they're so good.

...cannabis in an indoor hempy grow?

Mine are currently between 1 and 4 weeks of flower and the leaves are dying. I'm using the 2-part Sensi Bloom nutes, which doesn't require me to pH, which is one reason why I'm using it. The other is that a cousin's husband works at a grow farm and he recommended it.

I've tried raising the LED lights, lowering the light level a bit in case it's heat or light stress. The tents the one below is in has been in the high 80s lately. And, today, I flushed them in case it's nute build up. I also looked at the leaves underneath with my microscope but saw no evidence of bugs.

Here is a picture of my Alpine Star CBD plant, which is 10 days in flower (First, I have to admit that I did let them go too long between waterings as I was sick but that was over a week ago.):

Suggestions on how to make her and the rest of them (she's just the worst) healthy again would be greatly appreciated.

I feel like I've been sick forever. In January, I came down with shingles, which lasted 2 weeks. A week after that, I came down with a cold, which I still have. And, on Wednesday, this week, I tripped coming out of the grow tent in the study.

For those of you who might not know what a grow tent looks like, this is for you:

The part circled in red is the part I tripped over. The tent is parallel to the path out of the room so JD (husband) and I are going to move the tent 90 degrees so I'll have a direct path out of the tent and less risk for falling. We haven't done it yet because it's been a busy week. You'll see why in the next paragraph.

So, when I tripped and fell, I actually fell in the path face first and landed hard on my chin. I bit my lip so hard, it split and even though, I was in extreme pain, I struggled to my feet because blood was gushing out of my mouth and I didn't want to soak the rug more with it.

I felt myself trip but after that, it was just, FUCK!!! and then hitting the floor.

Sidebar: I really hate falling and I do it far too often. For me, it's almost always a trip and fall. I, literally, have to look at my feet when I'm walking or I risk tripping on something. It's super annoying especially given the fact that slips, trips and falls can kill the elderly. I'm almost 66. I don't want to die from a fall, from something that could be prevented.

Anyhow, I got to the bathroom with my hands cupped around my mouth trying not to get blood anywhere. And, sure enough, my lip had split open. It was very painful.

JD wasn't home so I called him and said I'd fallen and my lip was split and bleeding profusely. He suggested I call 911 but I wasn't comfortable doing that without him here with me so he said he would come home and take me to emergency.

I fell around 12:30 p.m. and we drove to the Urgent Care Ambulatory Centre in west Hamilton, getting there around 1:30 p.m. We waited about 4 hours before someone stitched up my lip but they didn't have the right kind of x-ray machine to take x-rays of my jaw and chin, which were also very sore. So, they told us we had to go to the General Hospital, which we did, getting there around 5:30 p.m.

We were at the hospital about 2 hours when I was taken for my x-ray but the x-ray techs didn't know how to use the machine as it was new and they hadn't learned how to use it yet. So, there was that. And, of course, they couldn't tell me the results as they weren't doctors so I had to wait for a doctor.

So, we waited and, waited and, waited. Around 9 p.m., JD went and got me a carrot soup and butterscotch pudding from the hospital's cafeteria as I hadn't eaten since the night before as I fast until 1 p.m. or later each day.

And, finally, around midnight (12:20 a.m.), a doctor finally saw me. She apologized profusely for the long weight but said they were short-staffed and she had to tend the patients with life-threatening conditions first, which I get but it was 5 hours waiting for the x-ray results plus the 2 hours of waiting before the x-ray plus the 5 hours at the first urgent care place. This is why people don't like going to hospitals. It took frigging forever!

The x-ray was to show whether I had fractured my jaw or my TMJ (temporomandibular joint). This is the joint that operates your jaw. And, mind was very sore. It's still sore but I think it's getting better. I can't chew because it hurts when I chew. It also hurts when I yawn or sneeze.

So, Wednesday was a wash. Thursday was a wash, too as I didn't get to sleep until around 2:30 a.m. but I slept in until around 2:30 p.m.

I've been having scrambled eggs for breakfast and soup for dinner but I don't find them particularly filling. And, I really don't like eggs every day, not because of cholesterol, just because I don't really like eggs all that much.

I cut the crusts off a slice of bread this morning and put some jam on it and had it with my eggs because I figured I wouldn't have to chew it much.

And, JD bought me peach-flavoured frozen yogurt - 2L!!!! I'm planning on sharing it with my dad when he comes for dinner on Friday. I haven't had him here in weeks since I've been having so many health issues. I went up and played Scrabble with him on Friday. I told him I still had a cold but that I missed him and would he let me come up for a game or two and he agreed, which made me happy. He's 95 and a couple of weeks could mean the difference between life and death and that would be horrible.

Note 1: I'm sort of high. I couldn't have an edible because of the whole chewing thing so I mixed some decarbed Trainwreck distillate into some butterscotch pudding. It was super sticky. I had to wash my denture because it stuck to it. I had to scrape it off and eat it from my fingernail. I wish I had thought to remove it before I ate the pudding. Oh well.

It's because I get high that I blog. I always have so many ideas running through my head when I'm high and I like typing them out and sharing them with others. I had a blog on a cannabis website I belong to but I rarely go there anymore as they preferred blogs specifically about cannabis not about the life of a stoner. LOL

Note #2: JD was fantastic on Wednesday. I'm so happy he spent the day with me. It felt interminable with him there; I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if I was alone. I'm not good at advocating for myself due to shyness and being an introvert but he's great at that kind of thing. That's why I hope I die before him (not that I want to die at all but that's a topic for another day). I've told him that I want him by my side at the end but he can't kill me to ensure that. 😁

As, it was, I told the doctor we finally saw that I thought they had forgotten about me.

And, JD made friends with all the other people in the room as the hours passed by. They had us seated right beside the bathrooms so he talked to everyone who came to use them, opening doors for them if they need help or advising them the one door opened outwards instead of inwards. I swear he goes anywhere and comes home with at least one new friend or someone who gave him their e-mail address or that he gave his to. He tells me he really only has 6 true friends including me. Most of the time, he hangs out with family though. He's super close to his siblings and their mum just died last year so they're even closer than they were.

I envy him. I only have two non-family friends. I used to have three but my other friend died 2 years' ago this coming June. It really sucked because we only just re-connected in 2022 after about a decade. We had worked together but she retired 10 years before I did and she was 10 years older than me but the sucky part was that she was the youngest of 8 kids and 5 of her siblings were still alive. I still miss her.

And, of the other two non-family friends, I only see the one about 3-5 times a year (?). She's a young mum of 3 kids under 6 and she and her husband are the supers at an apartment building that his grandmother owns. That's why I only see her a few times a year. She's planning to cook me brunch in March at their place. We usually go out to eat but now that she has 3 kids, it's probably easier to stay at home. The problem is she lives an hour away so it will take me a while to get there, hence brunch not breakfast.

And, friend three (AC) gets to go to almost everything with me and sometimes with JD, JD's cousin, MG and JD's friend, ES, too.

She's a divorced mum of 2 boys in their 20s. She owns a condo in town and we belong to the same dance class. I actually knew her in high school but we didn't hang out together. If I hadn't started getting high and hanging out with the cool kids, I probably would have been just like her as she's also very quiet and liked reading. She's my age, even born in the same year as me.

JD's cousin, MG only moved to Hamilton a couple of years ago so he sometimes goes to plays and movies with AC and me. They aren't really JD's thing. So, he's family but also a friend.

When I was a child and teenager, I was slim and fit. We didn't live in town so I walked everywhere as there was only one car and 5 licensed drivers. If I wanted to get anywhere, I either walked (and/or hitch hiked) or took the bus that only went by our place every 2 hours. I got married when I was 24 and within a year, I had gained 50 pounds. This was due to the fact that I no longer had to walk anywhere plus we were cooking and eating way more than we had at home. When I was 28, I quit smoking and put on another 50 pounds and from there, it went up and up until I was 38 years' old when I weighed 265 pounds. I had weighed 130 pounds when I got married.

When I was 38, my mum was dying from lung cancer. We had a conversation in which she made me promise that I would lose weight the healthy way and not the way she did with cancer and chemo. She even started me on my weight loss journey by paying for my Weight Watchers membership until she died later that year.

I didn't lose anything when my mum was alive but started to lose after she died.

Between 1998 and 2003, I lost 70 pounds. In 2003, I wasn't working and decided the monetary cost was too much. And, then in 2004, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid autoimmune disease, which explained my really sore knees. I couldn't exercise and I went into a downward spiral of depression with a lot of snacking on bad foods.

So, of course, I gained back 40 of the 70 pounds I had lost.

In 2007, I joined SparkPeople.com and with the help of various weight loss groups on their site, I lost around 20 pounds before SparkPeople decided they no longer wanted non-U.S. residents as members in 2015 when we moved to My Fitness Pal.

Since joining My Fitness Pal in 2015, I've lost another 26 pounds so now, I'm down 80 pounds from where I started in 1998.

My goal in 2025 was to get out of the 180s weight range and get into the 170s weight range and I did it.

But, then when I got home from Portugal in late November 2025, I got sick as I usually do after I travel.

One of the joys of having rheumatoid autoimmune disease is that I had a compromised immune system and get sick very easily and the older I get, it seems like my illnesses last twice as long as everyone else.

Now, it's mid-February and I'm recovering from shingles but now have a chest cold.

The reason I'm telling you about my illnesses is because ever since returning home from Portugal, I have lost all motivation to exercise and eat well. I actually like most of the exercise I do, walking/hiking, dancing, swimming and playing drums, the only one that I've been really been doing lately is playing my drums.

And, I do like healthy food most of the time. But, I also really like sweets. For me, sweets doesn't really include much chocolate although I'm totally hooked on Christie's Family Digestive Biscuits these days which have chocolate on one side of them.

Cookies are probably my favourite treats but I also like most red candy like jelly beans, jujubes and licorice. And, I like ice cream and pie and a lot of fruit desserts like apple crisp for example. And, I love pastries, cinnamon buns, malted milk ice bars and Nanaimo bars.

Anyhow, I've been indulging myself with these treats and not exercising and I'm firmly back into the 180s.

I just wish I was well as I'm sure that's a lot of the reason I'm eating so much crap these days.

My husband, his cousin and I attended an Offspring concert last night and they were terrible. One quarter of their set were cover songs by Black Sabbath, the Ramones and the Beatles and another 25% was just talk, talk, talk. And, it wasn't even interesting talk. Just really, really bad.

Thank god for the opening act, Bad Religion. They knew how give a concert.

The other disappointment was the new TD Coliseum. It was supposed to be better than Copps Coliseum, which is what it was called originally.

They were supposed to have a bigger variety of food and drinks but I only saw one open kiosk and it didn't have a lot of different foods.

The old bathrooms in the previous incarnation were plentiful with lots of stalls. I used 2 bathrooms while there last night and one only had 4 stalls while the other had 10. Both the men's and women's bathroom lines were long.

And, finally, where we sat. We were in Section 109, Row 21. The seats were much narrower than the previous incarnation and they've added a cup holder to make it even more narrow. We were lucky as two of our three seats had no one and nothing in front of us other than the stairs. But, the massive guy in front of me was really wedged into his seat.

I don't think we'll be attending a lot of concerts there as both my husband and I have knee issues that require space to stretch.

Anyone ever get shingles here? I've had them for about a week and they're so itchy. My arm looks someone whipped me.

Apparently, they're very contagious especially for people who haven't had chicken pox before like my husband, JD.

I've been avoiding coming into close contact with JD as well as my 95-year-old dad. I miss my dad. He's supposed to come for Scrabble and dinner on Fridays and I couldn't have him last week and I can't have him this week.

So, I received these cool infographics on the books I read in 2025 so Part 2 of this blog will just be them for those who didn't want to read my reading stats in my last post.

Yesterday was all about music. Today is all about books.

In 2025, I read 58 books with a total of 24,970 pages read.

The shortest book I read was The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank L. Baum at 120 pages.

The longest book I read was The Hallmarked Man by Robert Galbraith at 1,440 pages. (I rushed to finish the last 100 pages of this one as I was still reading it on the day I was flying to Portugal.)

In 2025, the average length of a book for me was 430 pages.

The book I read in 2025 that was most read by other readers was The Women by Kristin Hannah.

The book that I read in 2025 that was the least read by other readers was Magus Rising by Tesha Geddes.

My average rating for 2025 was 3.6 stars.

The book that I read in 2025 that was rated the highest (4.63) on Goodreads was Kingdom of Ash by Sarah J. Maas.

My first review of the year was The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and I gave it 4/5 stars.

My last review of the year was The Hallmarked Man by Robert Galbraith and I rated it at 4/5 stars same as my first review.

Here are all the books I read this year along with their ratings and genres:

My 2025 Spotify Wrapped Report leans heavily towards Linkin Park. I'm obsessed with Linkin Park. I saw them live in August 2025 and I've been listening to them a lot.

I also have been listening to them because I bought an electric drum kit at the end of June and Linkin Park has a number of their songs that just have the instrumentals and they're so much fun to play on my kit.

Here are my Spotify 2025 Wrapped details:

I listened to 40,667 minutes of music. This equals 28 days.

I listened to 283 different music genres.

My top genres in order from most to least are Punk, Ska Punk, Garage Rock Revival, College Rock and Rockabilly.

My listening age is 44. I'm 65 so I'm happy with this one.

I listened to 3,294 songs this year and these are the songs that I listened to the most in order from most to least - The Emptiness Machine by Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park, Given Up by Linkin Park, Castle of Glass by Linkin Park, Bleed It Out by Linkin Park.

My top song was Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park, which I listened to 33 times.

I listened to 93 albums this year.

My top album in 2025 was Linkin Park's From Zero album, which I think is fair as I really like this album.

The other albums in my top 5 in order from most to least are Too Much Information by The Planet Smashers, Strictly Rude by Big D and the Kids Table, Papercuts: Instrumentals by Linkin Park and Hybrid Theory by Linkin Park.

I streamed 9,744 minutes of podcasts.

My top podcast was the Ongoing History of New Music.

8,269 minutes is the amount of time I listened to podcasts in 2025.

I listened to 896 artists this year but these ones were the most special - Linkin Park, The Planet Smashers, Mad Caddies, Led Zeppelin and 54-40.

I've been labelled a Grit Collector as I often save music to my library, building a large club collection. 9% of Spotify listeners also belong to this club.

My club favourites are Green Day, The Anti-Queens, Faintest Idea, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Linkin Park, Fall Out Boy. (I don't know how club favourites are determined but the CCR and Fall Out Boy surprise me as I don't particularly feel like they're favourites of mine.

So, I went on a 9-day tour of Portugal in November. I haven't been to Europe since 1999 and I went with my dad that time.

My dad dissolved his investment portfolio and split the money between his 5 daughters. My husband and sisters suggested I try a group tour to see if it would suit my traveling goals. The Portugal trip was to be the deciding factor.

The trip wasn't as good as I thought it would be but the people were the best part, as people generally are. So, I really only enjoyed about 25% of the trip and the rest was just not me. I had an underlying layer of anxiety the whole time I was away.

It was a 9-day tour from Lisbon up the west coast to Porto and back. There were 27 people in our group, 7 Canadians, 1 Bahamian and 19 Americans.

I thought going on a tour would be a good fit for me as I don't like to travel alone. But, although, I liked everyone in our group, I wasn't comfortable enough to invite myself into their midst.

I did eat most of my meals with people from the tour group so that was nice. I like meeting new people and finding out all about them.

But, I felt anxious most of the time and I've never lost / misplaced so many items in my life. I lost my water bottle twice but it was returned both times. I lost my passport for a day only to find it in my suitcase at the end of the day. I lost my prescription sunglasses and didn't find them. And, I got lost myself, in Porto.

I spent hours walking up and down streets asking strangers for directions only to finally text my husband my frustration at being lost. So, he in Canada, helped me find my hotel. It turned out, I was only a few streets away but the street I was on ran perpendicular to the street the hotel was on so that's why I never found my hotel.

But, let's start at the beginning...

JD drove me to the Toronto airport on November 19 for my 10:45 p.m. flight to Lisbon, Portugal.

Apparently, you're supposed to sleep on overnight flights but I was really uncomfortable in my narrow, hard seat on Air Portugal so sleep did not come.

I arrived in Lisbon at 11 in the morning of November 20. The day was just me on my own. I didn't meet the rest of the group until the next day. I spent the rest of November 20 at the hotel getting settled in. And, I did nap for a couple of hours.

November 21 was the city tour of Lisbon. I discovered that despite having ear buds to listen to the information about the places we visited, I missed most of it just because I wasn't paying close enough attention. That's one of the reasons I don't "read" Audible books.

What I do remember from the 21st, were these really cool stone sculptures, which were part of the Monument to the Discoveries (Padrão dos Descobrimentos) located in Lisbon, Portugal. It commemorates the Portuguese Age of Exploration during the 15th and 16th centuries, a period when Portuguese navigators played a leading role in charting unknown parts of the world.

After this, we went to look at a monastery, I think but when we were done with that, our tour guide, Bea, went to a local bakery and brought back to the group freshly baked Portuguese custard tarts aka pastéis de nata to eat and they were yummy especially because they were still warm from the oven.

Lisbon also had a Christmas market set up downtown. It was only officially opened that night so everything wasn't set up yet.

Around 11 a.m., we were told we had free time for a couple of hours so if we wanted to get lunch, this would be a good time to do it. The bus was to pick us back up at 2:00 p.m. People were told that if they didn't come back to the bus, they'd have to get back to the hotel on their own.

I was invited to hang with two ladies from Prince Edward County, Ontario and the woman from the Bahamas, who was also traveling solo. We mainly just wandered until we found a restaurant that looked suitable. The restaurant we decided on had tables outside with blankets on the chairs for anyone who needed one and that was me, I needed one. It was a chilly 20C so I ordered caldo verde, which translates to green broth. Caldo verde is a traditional Portuguese dish. This soup had a smoky sausage in it as well as cabbage, I think.

The other ladies weren't planning on going back on the bus but I wanted to grab a nap before the Fado show we were to go to that night. So, I left the restaurant before the others were done in order to get back to the bus. The hardest part was finding the bus location again but the Christmas Market helped as the stop was nearby.

I did have a nap and we were picked up at the hotel for the Fado show around 6:30 p.m. Fado is traditional Portuguese music that expresses deep thoughts and feelings. I enjoyed the show despite the music being something I wouldn't normally listen to.

Day 2 (November 22) had us driving to Sintra. Sintra is known for its fairytale-like landscape, featuring palaces, castle and gardens, which earned it a UNESCO World Heritage status. This sounded like something I would like.

What I didn't like was the climb up the hill to the palace we were to see. I quit my climb about 3/4 of the way up, just before the palace's well system. I wasn't the only one to quit. One other lady also had had enough so we waited together. She was from Massachusetts and worked in the arts' field where she was responsible for applying for grants. She was stressed about it since the current President has cut money to the arts.

It looked like there were other ways to get up the hill rather than with our feet but we weren't offered anything else. My right knee was sore for two days afterwards.

I had lunch with a couple from Peterborough, Ontario in Sintra's downtown area and afterwards, I went shopping. I bought a pretty yellow, blue and white condiment dish for me and another one for my friend, AC. I was hoping to find salt and pepper shakers I liked, too but didn't have any luck. This is what it looks like sort of.

Day 5 - November 23, we traveled to Óbidos first. Óbidos is known for its cobblestone streets and its medieval walled town. Cobblestone streets might be pretty but I'm very surprised that I didn't fall at all during the whole tour as a lot of the streets were cobblestone and had dips and uneven ground, which were hard to navigate sometimes.

After Óbidos, we went to Nazaré, which is notable as a premier destination for surfers as waves can get quite big. However, on November 23, there were no surfers as the waves were only about 3 metres tall.

I had my favourite fish meal in Nazaré, i.e. Grilled Gold Bream. It was quite tasty. I had lunch that day with 2 women from Kansas. They were both travel agents so it was interesting talking to them about this tour.

November 23 was also the day I thought I lost my passport. I normally kept it in my theft-proof purse but it wasn't there so I felt really anxious all day about it. It was a Sunday so if I had to go to the Canadian embassy, it would have to wait until the next day. But, fortunately, after we arrived to our hotel in Fátima, I found it in my suitcase. Whew!

I don't really understand why we stopped in Fatima. There's a famous Catholic sanctuary there but we didn't arrive to town until around 6 p.m. and it was dark and raining so not really conducive for going out in and we left before 9 a.m. the next day so there was no opportunity for me to see it.

I did go out to find dinner but all the nearby restaurants (including the hotel's) were closed due to the Sabbath. Good thing I brought some snack bars from home.

Sister 3 (S3) told me before I left for the trip that if I wasn't having a good time to text her and she would rescue me so I texted her that morning when I was feeling really anxious about my passport and she replied asking me if I wanted her to call me but I declined at that point in time because we were already on the bus and I thought I might cry and I didn't want to cry in front of a bunch of strangers. So, I asked her to call me that night instead, which she did so we had a nice chat. I was feeling better by then since I'd found my passport.

November 24 was Day 6 of the tour and we drove to Coimbra from Fatima. Coimbra has the oldest continually operated university in Portugal and maybe even in Europe. It was built in the 1200s, 1260, I think...????

Here's a sculpture I saw that I liked:

For lunch in Coimbra, I ate with the 2 ladies from Prince Edward County again and the lady from the Bahamas. I liked all 3 of them but I liked the 2 Ontario ladies best. I ordered caldo verde again but this time, it came without sausage pieces. It was good. For dessert, I had a chocolate eclair. I haven't had a chocolate eclair in a thousand years. I still enjoyed it immensely. I have a nice photo of the 4 of us at the restaurant but I don't want to share anything so personal. No offense but I like to keep some things to myself.

From Coimbra, we drove to Porto. We were going to stay in Porto 2 nights. The lady from the Bahamas and another couple from Colorado and I went to the second Fado show in Porto, this time. AND, .... it was so much better than the one in Lisbon. And, it went on really late (past 11). We didn't get back to the hotel until almost midnight and I needed to unwind before going to sleep so I knew I'd hate having to get up at 7 the next morning for our day trip and boat tour of Porto. Here's a video from the Fado show in Porto:

The food was better at this Fado show, too. I tried clams for the first time and was surprised by how small they were and how little taste they have. The rest of the group really missed out on a nice evening. But, we got back to the hotel late and I knew I didn't want to get up early and I was signed up for the boat tour but I was feeling undecided about the boat tour as it wasn't as warm out as I thought and I get motion sickness really easily and there was a wine tasting at the end and I don't drink wine, so, I didn't feel like I'd be missing out on much.

I normally sleep 8 to 9 hours a night but since I had been in Portugal, I was averaging about 6 to 7 hours sleep a night so I was already tired all the time and our days were active so I decided to skip the next morning's excursion with the group and sleep in. I told the woman in the couple from Colorado to let our group leader know and slept in until about 9:30 and then went and got breakfast before the kitchen closed at 10.

I was happy to sleep in but that was one of the last good periods of the day because I went sight-seeing and shopping by myself and got hopelessly lost.

Did you know that Portugal is one of the largest producers of cork? Did you also know that model train layouts often use cork as the underlay of track? And, finally, did you know it was hard to find here in Ontario?

Well, I wanted to find some cork for my husband who is into trains but I couldn’t find it because the street signs in Porto were few and hard to find and I’m severely navigationally-challenged and I especially have a hard time reading Google Maps.  I really have to do something about that because now that I’m doing more navigating on my own, it’s frustrating having to have your husband phone you to walk you through the directions to get back to my hotel from his phone in Canada.

And, Porto is very hilly so it was hard work trucking up and down those streets over and over again.  I did have a big, Greek salad for lunch that day and that was a high point as I hadn’t had a green salad since I got to Portugal.  And, I went into the train station in search for a bench to sit on for a while.  The train station had been part of the tour’s itinerary that day but cancelled because there was construction all around the area and I definitely knew that as I had to navigate it, too but once I got in inside, it was worth it as it was so pretty.

Hilly Porto photo:

Sao Bento train station:

So, I didn't find the cork but I did order some online as it had free shipping and didn't cost a lot. I haven't received it yet but I hope it's useful to my husband.

I had made dinner reservations at the restaurant on the 17th floor of our hotel for 7 p.m. that night. And, I literally got back to the hotel around 6:30 p.m. after trying to find it for hours. I texted my husband that I was lost and he asked me about businesses in the area and deduced that I was on a street running perpendicular with the street the hotel was on so that's why I couldn't find it. With his help, I made it back to the hotel within about 20 minutes.

The dinner in the restaurant felt like a reward. I started with a leek soup and then had their rib-eye steak and ice cream for dessert. It was all quite tasty.

Wednesday, Day 8, had us driving back to Lisbon with a stop in Aveiro on the way. Aveiro is known as Portugal's Venice as they have canals everywhere with boats transporting people.

I was afraid to wander much because I didn't want to get lost again so I just checked out the stores near the Aveiro sign, which was where the bus was picking us up.

We got back to Lisbon around 6 p.m. I just checked in and packed everything for travel back to Canada.

I went down to get something for dinner at the hotel's restaurant. The couple from Colorado invited me to join them for dinner. I had a really yummy grilled veggie couscous salad. Afterwards, I went back to the room and went to sleep early as we were being picked up at 8:30 the next morning.

I got up at 6:30 a.m. the last day. Had breakfast with the rest of the Canadian people as we were all leaving together.

A couple from Ajax, Ontario were part of the group but I hadn't had much opportunity to talk to them previously, which was too bad as they were really nice. The man in the couple was very helpful at the airport with getting us to the right lines.

The flight home wasn't as bad as the flight there. I didn't try to sleep this time so maybe that's why. I watched 2 movies -- Freaky Friday and Freakier Friday. I also watched 5 episodes of Friends and 5 episodes of The Big Bang Theory.

The flight was very dry and one of the flight attendants filled up my water bottle for me. I didn't like either of the meals they provided -- a pasta with a rosé sauce and a sandwich that I didn't like.

I don't understand the math for the hours involved in getting home. We left Portugal at 11 a.m. Portugal is 5 hours ahead of us. I got into Toronto at 2:45 p.m. The flight was 10 hours long. I was really tired. And, it was snowing.

JD drove me home and then went back out for dinner. I asked for chicken wings, garlic bread, veggies and blue cheese for dinner.

I also asked for a large Greek salad without dressing for the next day.

So, I bailed on my mother-in-law's funeral in Sault Ste. Marie. I just couldn't justify spending 4 days in the Soo when I leave for Portugal in 6 days. It was just stressing me out too much.

So, now I'm not going. And, JD is fine with it. He didn't think I was going to come because I had said goodbye to his mum years' ago when she became agitated whenever I visited.

I did so wish that teleportation had become a real thing by now. If it had, going to the funeral wouldn't be an issue.

We go to a lot of concerts each year. This year, I've seen 36/38 musical acts. I still have two to go to in December.

I believe music is what drew my husband (JD) and me together back in the day. And, it's still one of the key attractions between us.

Prior to retirement, I went and saw 5 to 10 musical acts a year but now that I'm retired, I've been averaging closer to 18 to 25 per year.

A lot of concerts in the past have been in Toronto and I HATE driving to and from Toronto as what should only be an hour's drive is closer to a two-hour drive and sometimes even more than that.

So, in the past decade, we've been trying to find concerts closer to and in Hamilton. We're even going to London and Niagara Falls for concerts now because even though they're further away in distance, they actually take less time to get there as opposed to Toronto.

I get emails from Sonic Unyon, a local music event company weekly so I go through them and listen to musicians I don't know on Spotify to see if I like them. This year, I've seen 11 new to me musical acts in Hamilton and that's fantastic. I'm so happy when we go to concerts locally. I have high hopes for the new TD Coliseum getting more big time music acts. Nine Inch Nails are playing there next year. I don't personally like Nine Inch Nails but I know last time they toured, they played at Scotiabank Arena in Toronto and it's a big venue.

JD and I don't love all the same genres of music but we both love punk and ska. I love alternative rock, punk and ska and he loves blues, punk and ska.

I discovered ska in 2019 with the band, The Interrupters and really loved them so I went digging for more ska to listen to and discovered to my surprise that it was invented in Jamaica in the 1950s and was actually invented before reggae so that's pretty cool.

Prince Buster was supposedly the inventor of ska. Ska is a combination of big band, reggae and punk and it's a lot of fun to dance to. Since discovering ska, dancing to it has become one of my passions.

Unfortunately for The Interrupters, they're no longer my favourite ska bands. But, I am thankful to them for introducing me to the music.

My favourite ska bands are the Mad Caddies, K-Man & the 45s, the Planet Smashers, The Specials, Operation Ivy, Rancid and The English Beat. I like third wave and fourth-wave ska best.

My mother-in-law, MA, died on Saturday, November 1 at 9:30 p.m.

It looks like the funeral will be on November 15 in Sault Ste. Marie, which is where she was from.

I'm flying to Portugal on November 19 so I'm not overly thrilled about going to the Soo four days earlier. I know people would understand if I didn't want to go but I want to be at her funeral because I loved her.

I have been married to my husband for 41.5 years and therefore, related to his family for the same amount of time. I love his family. And, I love his mum especially.

I've always loved my mother-in-law. She was always on the move, doing something. When I first met her, she was on the kitchen counter cleaning the cupboards. She loved to laugh and was always ready for the next adventure.

When we were first married, we moved into the apartment building where JD's parents were already living. We played bridge with them every weekend. It was nice.

JD's dad died in 1999 and his mum moved to an apartment just west of downtown but we felt it was still too far away so we found her an apartment in Dundas.

She and I used to go to movies and other events together. We even travelled together a few times. We sometimes hiked together but no matter what we did, we always had fun.

Fast forward to 2008 when she starts forgetting things. We didn't know at that point that she was getting or had Alzheimer's. We just tried to help her with calendars and post-it notes.

In 2008, I decide to take her to the Dominican Republic as she had never been before and seemed interested.

Unfortunately, due to her memory issues, we had a lot of issues at the departure airport but once we were in the Dominican, her memory didn't seem to interfere with anything.

We had other issues, not her fault but all-in-all we had a good time.

Because she wasn't a reader like me, I booked an excursion to Santa Domingo. I would normally never do an excursion when it's 30C out as I find I just get too hot but I did it so that MA (my mother-in-law) would have something to look forward to. And, we had a nice time despite the heat.

When I turned 50 in 2010, I wanted to go to a destination spa to celebrate so I went to Ste. Anne's Spa in Grafton, Ontario with her, my sister-in-law and my aunt-in-law.

I wanted to go with my sisters but they're all teachers and couldn't get away. So, I went with my in-laws instead. And, I think we all had a fun getaway.

Finally, in 2016, we got MA a place in a locked ward at a nursing home in Ancaster, Ontario where she has been ever since.

About a week ago, JD told me that staff at his mum's nursing home told him that she was forgetting how to swallow and then on Thursday (October 30), they told him she was no longer eating or drinking anything so she's been moved to palliative care. Hence, the need for a post about her.

I haven't seen MA since 2022 when her youngest son brought his daughters to the nursing home for a visit.

When she first moved into the home, both JD and I would come and take her out for the day or for a few hours but the last time we did that together was in 2018 or 2019 when she got mad at me because she thought I was stealing her husband aka JD. She was thinking he was her husband, IJ who had died in 1999.

So, I stopped going to see her because I didn't want to agitate her. But, I missed her. So, her being moved to palliative care now doesn't evoke sadness because I've been missing her since 2018.

JD and his siblings are obviously upset, as well they should be. It doesn't matter how old your parents are when they die, it's still upsetting.