it would be so awesome
it would be so cool
will byers stan first human second
Cosmic Funnies

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Jules of Nature
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Discoholic 🪩
Claire Keane
Today's Document

pixel skylines

shark vs the universe

#extradirty

Kaledo Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
noise dept.
Show & Tell
Peter Solarz

ellievsbear

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@bjurnberg
it would be so awesome
it would be so cool

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I feel so many feelings about Rocky during the first contact. He wants to connect SO BADLY. Do Eridians have horror stories about scary aliens? If they do, Rocky doesn't care. He wants this alien to be friendly. He does everything he can to accommodate. Here, a little gift I'm sending your way at the speed you're comfortable with. Please be there. Here, the next gift is going right into your airlock so that it's easier for you to catch. Please don't fly away. You made a strange gesture with your limb, I'll make my robot make that gesture back. Please belive that I'm friendly. Here's a tunnel to connect us, I'll make sure you can breathe in it. Please come meet me. I'll let you choose the material for the wall separating us; I'll rebuild the whole wall if it makes you more comfortable, no trouble, just please let's talk. You're all alone on your ship, I can hear it, please come sleep here where I can watch you, it's unsafe for you to be alone. I'm alone and scared, it's been 46 years since I felt safe while sleeping, please please please watch me sleep too. I'm very vulnerable when I sleep and I trust that you won't use it against me. I want to visit your ship, am allowed, question? I'm moving in with you. Let's save the stars.
and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team
it's a well-known secret among time travelers that you can just do whatever you want to genghis khan and it won't affect history at all. just last week i visited late 12th century mongolia to do a Hot Ones-style interview with him and someone had already given him a PBR baseball cap and a steam deck- the butterfly effect has that name for a reason but temüjin's destiny is just so firmly rooted that no amount of interference could possibly change it. dude absolutely kills it at Crypt of the Necrodancer
SUPER TOP SECRET WORK HACK!!! If you explicitly tell people, "You are an adult and a professional, I trust you to do your job; just keep me in the loop and let me know if there are questions," then thank and/or praise them when they accomplish your mutual goals? they will keep doing things for and with you. Sometimes they will even side with you over other people in the organization, because you've taken the time to establish that baseline respect and trust! hashtag winning or whatever
I just want to say this can work with kids too, mostly because of the 'respect' thing.
This past month, Parks & Rec has been doing a lot of work on the field adjacent to my school. They have trucks with flatbeds, mowing/tree-cutting/postholing machinery, etc. And when they arrived, I (campus monitor) was told I would need to herd the kids away from the trucks/machinery and basically prevent them from creating a dangerous situation.
So when recess came around and the kids stampeded out the door I held them up and I said (being funny but at the same time serious, you know how it is, kids listen better if you're funny)
"Okay, I know that you're all smart AND mature, right? And talented and good looking? Definitely the smartest and most talented class in this school? (I say this to every class, they're all 'my favorites'.) And because you're SO intelligent and mature, I don't need to actually TELL you that these guys have vehicles and machinery that you need to stay clear of, right? Because I know you figured that out already, and I also know that YOU know how sad I would be if any of you were run over, or squashed, or had a pole fall on you. I would be SO SAD, like, I would probably have to lie down on the floor and cry. So you're not going to make me cry, right? I can trust you to stay away from the trucks and machines no matter where they are on the field? Because you're wonderful and amazing? My favorites? My inspiration?"
And they're laughing at me of course, because I'm being so dramatic. Some of them are "Yes, and-"ing my dramatics and inventing more involved mourning processes I should undertake if any of them get run over. Some of them are yelling at me that they are NOT mature yet and they are VERY STUPID and I should know this.
It's been three weeks. We had one conversation about it. None of them have gone anywhere near the trucks. This is actually in excess of the typical elementary-schooler's working memory and I'm very proud of them. I haven't had to blow the whistle at ONE person for getting too close even when the trucks were literally 40 feet from the actual playground.
"I know I can trust you to do this", even when phrased with humor, is like a magic key that unlocks teamwork+cooperation.
I usually phrased it to middle-schoolers as, "I was a weird artist before I was a teacher, so I don't understand how children work, really. So I am going to treat you guys like adults unless and until you give me a reason not to." It's amazing how far they'll go to keep that adult status.

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proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.
make that boy ELDRITCH
(inspired by @phantomtwitch's fic Echoes!)
Eridians who hunt by disguising themselves amongst the rocks to ambush prey getting countered by an alien who can see through it because 9 times out of 10 they’re a different color than the rocks they’re blending in with entirely
all stories need a part where the protagonists need to sneak into a gala or ball or other fancy event by wearing pretty clothes. this is more important then gay shit like arcs or conclusions
"Were very sorry sir. The children thought your people were from the government."
A small DP/DC promp
Casper high is on a field trip in Gotham.
Danny is in the team with Tucker, Kwan and Dash as most of the time.
They have a picture hunt around Gotham.
After a while they notice strange people in white following them. White jackets, black ties.
As Amity park kids the of course thought, these were GIW agents they don't know.
Everybody knows Danny is having to much ecto in his system. They sometimes see his eyes change color. No surprise if you think of the Fenton Parents lap safety.
So as the people get closer and one of them grabs Danny's arm. Dash hits him before they can speak.
They got in a big fight.
Penguin gets called cause his Goons are fighting a school class.
Things calm down quick as Oswald came. The Teacher told them to stop.
As he was talking to Mr. Lancer the Teacher said:" The children are very sorry. They thought your Henchpeople were part of the Government."
Penguins Goons are also very sorry:" We thought it was a Wayne kid."
Penguin has also some Questions in his head like: why would high school kids get into a fist fight with the Government?
And why did the Teacher think that was a reasonable explanation?
Oswald looked at the chaos happening between his men and the group of highschoolers they'd been following and barely contained a sigh.
Two of his men were already unconcious on the ground.
There was an African American teen in a beret wrapped around one like a damned koala, doinghis best to choke the man out. Two mor had armed themselves with various bits of alley rubble and were cheerfully beating the shit out of two more of his minions.
The last teenager, the one that he'd been told was a Wayne, had also attached himself to a goon. Except instead of trying to choke the man out, it seemed like he'd decided to sink his teeth into his captives ear.
"OW! Shit! Somebody get this feral bastard off!" The minion who's name escaped Oswald at the moment yelled.
"Little busy here Joe! Oof!" The blond boy who looked like he'd fit right in with the Goonion slammed a two-by-four into his opponents gut.
"Yeah! You go Fentina! Give 'em hell!"
"NO MERCY!" The Asian boy yelled, tackling his goon into the side of a dumpster.
Before he could intervene, a middle aged, heavy set balding man skidded to a stop at the other end of the alley where the one-sided brawl was taking place.
"What in the War of the Worlds is going on here?!" The man shouted. "Mr. Foley! Let him go this instant! Mr. Baxter! Mr. Kwan! Enough of that! And Mr. Fenton! Spit that out right now, you have no idea where it's been.
Almost instantly, all four teens stopped what they were doing.
"But Mr. Lancer! Look at 'em!"
"Yes Mr. Baxter, I see them and I'm fairly certain they're not who you think they are!"
"But!"
"No 'buts' Mr. Foley. All of you come here this instant!"
Oswald watched, bemused, as they all gathered in front of the older man.
Fenton turned and spat out a glob of blood. It landed with a splat on the alley wall.
Lancer sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose then turned his attention to where Oswald was standing with two of his guards.
"My apologies Mr. Cobblepot." The children spun and looked as if they'd had no idea he'd been there, watching the chaos. His concious henchmen groaned in unision. "It seems that none of my students read the information packet before our trip and mistook your men for Government agents."
That... did absolutely nothing to clear up the situation at all.
"Well, my boys thought that they had a Wayne brat in their sights..." He shrugged in a 'what can you do?' way and watched as the blood covered Fenton boy shivered and made gagging sounds.
"Ew! No way! Rich frootloop with an adoption problem, no thank you!" The black haired, blue eyed boy exclaimed.
Baxter gave him a pat on the shoulder that nearly sent Fenton to the ground.
"Hey Danny, at least it wasn't Batman and his squad of goody-two-shoes hero pals that came after you!" Foley eclaimed, wrapping an arm around the now named Danny Fenton.
Also, that was quite the interesting bit of information. He might have to look into this Danny Fenton a bit more thoroughly.
He's a Respectable Business Man™! They too, do Crimes. Will fight you over it. Are a bit... Obsessive.
And Mr. Cobblepot here? Unlike the FEDS? Gives back to the COMMUNITY with his laundering! Is HONEST with his dealings and ENFORCES his protection! Very nice. Very classy!
Now that Wayne fella? Something's up with him. Too... clean. Himbo and non threatening. Inoffensive, ya know? Ya can't trust it! They bet he pays his TAXES!

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Shallow Graves.
Danny would like to state, not on the record or anything, that shallow graves are the easiest to crawl back out of. So if these mercenaries could keep using them instead of the deeper ones, he might just thank them the next time they try to kill him.
He always gets back up, pretty firmly stuck in between life and death rather than ever being on one side or the other. They're never going to succeed, no matter how hard they try. Even things that used to hurt aren't really anymore.
Ectoranium? He built a tolerance to that a long time ago. Blood Blossoms? Those lost efficacy after his twentieth(?) exposure.
The amount of terrible lines he hears is just getting old, as well. "Dead men tell no tales." Classic. Epic. Wrong. Especially when you can't even kill him properly. The dead love to talk, you jerks firmly on the side of the living just can't hear them.
All things being equal, though, nothing brought more joy than the look on the face of one Lex Luthor when Danny showed up at a press conference with a microphone and a question after the former went through all the trouble of having Danny dropped off in the middle of the ocean in a concrete box.
He watched on in silent humor as he had divers swim for his concrete prison and bring it back up. Inside was a perfect impression of Danny, down to the folds of his clothes, but no Danny.
Neither man was a fool, but Danny was having fun with it. Subtle, but pointed, as he needled Luthor and protested every action his company took. Messing with Mortal megalomaniacs is a favored past-time.
And it didn’t even work on Dio right? To be fair, Lex prolly though Danny a normal mortal man
Honestly? I feel like Lex would lean forward against his podium or desk with both hands gripping the edge in a "oh you MOTHER FUC-" grip, do that little suck your teeth noise of acknowledgement, and be... reluctantly kinda impressed.
Well Played, Fenton.
I Underestimated You.
*vaguely homoerotic "I know, that you know, that I KNOW THA-" crimeboss murder escalation to follow*
Which is obviously seperate from his Thing ™ with Superman. No, no. THIS is his REPORTER Nemesis. Some sort of fucked up cryptid. Vampire maybe. Out to defeate is Totally Legitimate Business Empire.
You wouldn't GET it, Kent. Bless your sweet, dim, Midwestern heart. Lex adores you, he does, but FENTON? The man is SHARP. Like Lane. Piranhas the lot of them.
FENTON wants his head on a pike.
Please.
He can't AFFORD IT. *Nemesis/Situationship Intensifies*
Do you think they have tense brunches with thinly veiled threats bantered back and forth. Sharp glances and sharper grins. A tension in the air so thick the servers want nowhere near... Whatever the fuck THAT is. Superman hearing some deeply worrying comments from across the way. Turned up just to make sure Fenton wasn't going to disappear and uh, he's now less sure he should have?!? He isn't sure what is going on. But he knows he does NOT want to be involved. Lex looked... Predatory. If this is some weird villain courting method he wants nowhere near... Lois! come pick him up he's scared!!
Danny is out here having a great time. Luthor is trying so hard to be scary! Adorable. He is definitely having too much fun playing with the guy. But hey, an old man needs hobbies. And eating the rich has always been one of his. He is going to destroy everything this man has built. The fact Luthor is fighting back so hard just makes it a fun challenge.
I feel like? Danny wouldn't be INVITED to brunch? He would just... drop in.
Heeeey there Lexy. Can I call you Lexy? I'ma call you Lexy. (Just to watch it annoy you.) And FLOP himself into the fancy little bistro seat across from Lex. Somehow having got past? Like ten layers of security and the servers? With his notepad. To ambush Lex with some Questions™.
......RIGHT after he was supposed to be sent to the HOSPITAL.
It's the moment Lex decided to kill him.
Cause see, Lex was having a lovely brunch. Atmosphere was calm, view was lovely, food light but filling. A good meal. Then THIS fucker showed up. In his cheap, ratty little suit. Sharp, mean, manic lil grin and equally cheap dollar store note pad. Trying to bite off more then you can chew, here, Fenton. Lex did... warn you.
And Danny just smiles BIGGER. Asks MORE pointed questions.
Can he take your refusal to answer as a "no comment"? Ooooh, that's not gonna LOOK good, Lexy! But then again, neither are all the crimes.
Then? Lex n him have fancy lil date on that yacht. Lex in his murder suit. Danny in his new concrete jacket. A dip in the ocean~☆
WHOOP! Hello there LEXY~☆! >:D Tis I! That Little FUCKER! Here at the ONE nest conference you Did NOT want me to attend!
In my RATTY LIL SUIT.
Like a Racoon with mange, if it was somehow immortal. Lex HATES it. Fenton has no CLASS. Eats almost exclusively garbage takeout and cheap coffee. Wears that GOD AWFUL SUIT. Wouldn't know a good cologne if it hit him with a TRUCK. Has? Probably never PROPERLY cared for his rats nest of *gestures in horror to his head* That in his LIFE.
But??
He has the MEANEST, most bloodthirsty "I'm going to rip your soul out and make you watch as I eat it" grin? Lex has ever SEEN. Is so, SO fucking meticulous. Gets into EVERYTHING. Especially where you don't want him to be! Always goes straight for the throat, in everything. Dangerously charming when he feels like it, just plan dangerous when he doesn't.
Oh, and just Won't Fucking DIE!
Lex wants to BURN that suit so bad. For FUCKS sake, Fenton. At least let me send you an INSULT suit! It would be BETTER then that! It aggravates him SO MUCH that his Nemesis/Situationship is? Some "impossible to kill TRASH GREMLIN"? The first part? Impresses him. The LATER part?
Fenton. He's SEEN your paycheck, Fenton. PERSONALLY hacked your employer's payroll. YOU CAN AFFORD BETTER, FENTON. He KNOWS you're doing it to spite him. Specifically. Cease. Stop it AT ONCE, Fenton! (Danny shan't, it amuses him to much. Lexy TWITCHS when he eats sloppy joes in his ratty, ratty suit. He has a set of them. Lex KNOWS he has a set of them. Can't prove it. Yes, they ARE designed to look like they're on their last leg, why?)
>:3🍔c omnomnom Lexy! Delicious BURGER! Hehehehe~
I want the surprise to be that they are actually somewhat expensive, in accounting t if being designed to look like they are 1 thread from death.
But also, do you think Lois would be friendly with Danny?
I bet that makes it WORSE? He gets them from a friend of Sam's. They're high fashion protest pieces. Each one a criticism on different aspect of high society, capitalism, and the fast fashion industry etc. He's basically showing up to work in counter culture Gucci.
Lex? Has both Never Heard of this HACK and thinks their "art" is TRASH. Wear an ACTUAL SUIT, Fenton. You're supposed to be a professional.
...you know? Just for that? Danny's feelin... "suprise me" at the punk barber. Maybe it'll be neon, MAYBE a mohawk! Who KNOWS, Lexy! He was do for a trim, after all~ HOW YA LIKE MY FAKE FACIAL PIERCINGS, LEXY?! Professional enough!??
I'd say BITE me... but YOU can't afford ME, Lex! I got MANSON lawyers.
(Not, "I don't think you'd do it." He knows full well, full table of food be DAMNED, Lex would lunge for his throat in a full suit and consider that suit a business write off well spent.)
As for LOIS?
Man.... it has GOT to depend? They are... ENTIRELY too alike? Very "you are ME and I don't like that. Meet me in the parking lot, you bitch. Square up."? There would be Actual Casualties. Yet? When working TOGETHER? Batman n Superman of the reporting world... yet somehow 1000 times more ruthlessly terrifying.
They come for your spleen, that they may BEAT YOU WITH IT.
A truely horrifying and nonsensical way to go! WHY are they LIKE this!?
So... do they hate each other? Yes. Respect each other? Also yes. Would they pick each other up, no questions asked, covered in blood, from a senator's house at 1 am? Have and will continue to do so, what's not clicking here. But GOD SAVE YOU, if you ever give them reason to AGREE on something. Work together.
Cause THEN you're fuuuuuuucked.
I’ve never read something and had the urge to uproot my life in order to write the nastiest 300k word fic about a nonsensical prompt like this before. I NEED THIS HOMOEROTIC TENSION ON Ao3 LIKE, YESTERDAY! If I end up writing it, be rest assured, I WILL MAKE ANOTHER POST ABT THIS DELICIOUS PROMPT 😍
Danny a Rogue in one of DC city, but not the "I'm gonna kill everyone cause' I HATE LIFE !!!" no, he's "Oops, call the hero I accidentaly made a superweapon that I cannot stop (for the third time this week) !"
The Super Hero doesn't know what to do with him and you cann see Danny cheereing from a stand while the hero is battling the thing in a désolation landscape
Instead of explaining, Flash just puts his phone of speaker. Danny is still talking.
"-and I didn't think it would actually WORK. It was just a little fun project. To stave off boredom, ya know? But now it's eating bus stop shelters so I really, really think you should come stop it before it decides building's are tasty too-is it tasty if it's a robot? Is it even technically eating then? It doesn't have stomach acid. There's probably a different word for it. Could you even make a robot that literally digests something? Maybe I could if I-"
Barry: “do you see what I have to put up with? I would literally trade a rogue with ANY of you and give you my spleen if you wanted it just for some peace!”
Red Robin:
as a chemist i would like to say BWAHAHAHAHAHA
image description at explainXKCD:
explain xkcd is a wiki dedicated to explaining the webcomic xkcd. Go figure.
its a bit easier for astronomers
NO! Where’s the non-metals and metaloids?!
are they hydrogen or helium
oxygen, carbon, sulfur, xenon, iodine, neon, etc etc.
ooo okay i see the confusion. you're listing off a bunch of metals there
…. You’re breaking my chemistry nerd brain. Hhhuuuhhhh???
im an astrophysicist
but but, science is science?!
and different fields of science have different conventions and definitions for their unique contexts
The Justice League was too late. The cult had successfully completed their summoning ritual, and a figure began to emerge from the crackling green rift in the air
A teenage boy in a black jumpsuit, holding a clipboard and a pen.
The figure barely seemed to pay attention and just launched into a rehearsed speech, tone bored. “Thank you for summoning the Ghost King. Due the influx of summonings, he is unavailable at the moment. I’m Phantom, and I’ll be serving as your intercessor for the time being. I am authorized to act on His Majesty’s behalf, but any larger scale actions may have a short wait time before they can go through—just a few decades at most.” His voice then picked up, tone casual. “So… whatcha looking for?”
Then he did a double take, the chaotic scene he’s appeared in finally seeming to register in his mind.
“…Err, which ones of y’all specifically performed the summoning? I need it for the file.”
"ME!" immediately lies John Constantine, like a liar, before the cultists can say anything. Thus fucking STEALING ALL THEIR HARD WORK like a COMPLETE BASTARD!
They try to stab him harder over it.
Melon!AU
Actual writing now, based on this post:
Constantine, anxiously vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass: and when Mama Monster comes for Baby Monster, we- Bruce: fight it
“What,” Tim breathes out faintly, “the fuck is that?”
Language, Bruce thinks faintly, though he doesn't manage to get it past his lips.
He is a man who prides himself on being ready for anything, but he most certainly didn't expect something like this when responding to the Batsignal tonight.
“That is a Pit Demon,” Damian's voice asserts through comms, grave in a way that betrays his collected mask. He's unnerved. “There is nothing else that could be.”
Bruce is unnerved too, though he refuses to show it.
Gordon had half the block cordoned off so no civilians would come through by the time Bruce and Tim - the closest at the time - had arrived on scene. The alley itself is blocked in by police cruisers, though the officers are staying very firmly behind the line and not approaching.
It's no wonder why.
The…thing backed into a dead end alley looks like it's made of smoke and shadow, all long sinuous lines and dangerous angles.
It's vaguely Humanoid in the sense that it has a long torso, arms and a head. The arms are too long, the fingers curved and wickedly sharp. The face is a well of deep shadow, a smooth slate broken only when it opens its jagged mouth to show off a full arsenal of fangs.
The only other facial features are the solid, glowing Lazarus green eyes. Wide and lamp-like, they give the distinct feeling that the creature's sights will not miss anything.
There are no legs. Just the sinuous curves and overlaps of a long smokey tail. It whips about with agitation.
Floating like mist on the water is a head of white hair, edges fuzzy and undefined like it can't decide whether it's a solid or a gas.
The creature lays with its chest nearly flat to the ground, propped up only by those horrifically sharp hands and poised like a predator ready to push off into a sprint.
Glowing Lazarus water seems to pool slowly beneath it, streaked here and there as evidence of past movement.
Bruce finally finds his tongue to question Damian. He can see his youngest standing on the opposite roof of he and Tim, the two buildings that form the alley their perch.
“You've seen something like this before?”
Damian hesitates. “...no. But there are stories of things coming out of the Pits. I doubt I need to explain why this seems to be one of them.”
With that color green shining out of its face and streaked across the alley? No. No, he doesn't.
“Do your stories have any clues on what to do when one shows up?” Tim asks, unable to tear his eyes away from the creature.
Damian scoffs. “Close your eyes and hope your end is quick.”
“Lovely,” Tim bites out, voice a little higher pitched than normal.
“We won't be doing that,” Bruce responds dryly, two taps coming through the comms notifying them of Black Bat's arrival.
Bruce looks up and has to search for her for a few seconds before he can make her out in the shadows of Damian's rooftop.
“I'm still five minutes out,” Dick comms in. “What exactly are we looking at here? Can Oracle give a visual with any cams?”
“I wish,” Oracle chimes in. “Even through the mask footage I have no idea what they're seeing. The feed is corrupted to hell and back whenever it's in frame.”
“Really? In person it looks like-”
Tim is cut off when the officers below make some kind of movement the monster clearly takes issue with, the snarl that almost physically ricochets off the brick walls making everyone wince.
It's like TV static and the crackle of lightning striking a tree, like glaciers cracking and shifting underwater all rolled into one.
The hair on the back of Bruce's neck stands on end.
“Fuck. It's like a living shadow, but all sharp and wrong and angry-”
“No,” Cass cuts in quietly, silencing everyone.
“...Black Bat?” Bruce questions lowly.
“Not angry,” she responds, as sure as ever when assessing a target - no matter what kind of target.
“Scared, hurt. Guarding chest, trying to hide it. Wants to scare us away, but making no move to attack. Posturing.”
The thing about Cass is that they trust her reads implicitly - her reads of people.
She wouldn't speak up if she wasn't certain, and she wouldn't be certain if she didn't see something painfully human in the creature below.
“...what do you suggest?” Bruce asks after a moment of tense silence, trying to reassess the creature and see what she sees.
He at the very least wants her opinion, so they can weigh it in formulating a plan here.
Cass keeps looking for a long moment, before she looks across the gap at him. “Needs help. Reach out - at least try.”
Masterpost

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The Batclan respond to the Bat Signal to a harried Gordon and a hissing shadow creature with Lazarus green eyes.
It's been cornered in an alley and nobody can get close for fear of those claws and the horrifying teeth set in an otherwise featureless face.
They are of course talking strategy to deal with an angry, terrifying unknown threat - up until Black Bat arrives and takes all of five seconds to proclaim, "Scared, not angry. Hurt."
Part of what freezes them is what Cass being able to read the creature at all means - as animalistic as it seems to them, its mannerisms are human enough for Cassandra Cain to recognize.
(Does the night perhaps end with an eldritch Thing in the batcave managing to look like it might cry when Cass offers it some of her post patrol watermelon? Yes.
Does the night definitely end with an eldritch Thing in the batcave definitely crying when Alfred brings it a plate of watermelon all of its own? Definitely yes.
Is everyone else mentally and verbally swearing up a storm at how fucking hard it is to get a hold of Constantine when you need him??? Obviously.)
Constantine, showing up to the batcave and immediately seeing what feels like a fucking Infinite Realms Ancient munching on watermelon with the bats as is now a ritual after patrol:
what the FUCK is that
Damian, who had a name and a 'can we keep it' speech ready the nanosecond he realized the weird shadow noodle wasn't a threat:
speak of Melon with such disrespect again and I will relieve you of your tongue
Whatever knocked Danny so far into his instincts for so long must have been Badtm
But I want to make things more awkward than tragic, so...
Someone in Amity finally caught on that the GIW weren't acting with government approval and alerted outside authorities.
The GIW decide that the best way to prove that ghosts are mindless is to make them mindless and basically Carpet bomb the town with Fenton Ecto Supression Gastm.
this particular Fenton project was meant to be an improvement on Ecto Dejecto, but instead of weakening ghosts, it turns them completely feral.
Too bad it affects liminals as well.
Also the GIW are so terrible at ghost science they failed to recognize their entire rank and file are also liminal.
So the entirety of Amity is just Vibing while the people sent to investigate are confused as to why the town is like this.
And Danny is somehow halfway across the country being fed watermelon.
But now comes the question…
Will the effects of the Fenton Ecto Suppression Gastroenterology go away on their own?
Or do they need an antidote?
Will they need some rehabilitation to fully heal?
That is still unknown, and what's more, the bat clan still doesn't know anything about Amity.
Nobody knows what's going on, not even Constantine knows what he's seeing…
Until he thinks…
Hey, aren't the Ancients supposed to be gigantic beings?
Why is this one so small?
And why does he behave like a spoiled baby?
Oh my god… did the bats find an Ancient baby?????
Constantine, anxiously vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass: and when Mama Monster comes for Baby Monster, we-
Bruce: fight it.
Constantine: w h a t.
Bruce: fight it.
Constantine:
Bruce: Melon is ours now.
Constantine: B-
Bruce: no take backsies.
Dead wife montage but it's all slow motion shots of your dead wife throwing grenades and doing backflips and oneshotting the enemy with their long range weapons