Diaries of a human shitpost

My life isn’t a mess, it’s deconstructed™

every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

society needs shame. if you dont embarrass weird greasy kids in high school they turn into adults who walk their girlfriends around on dog leashes in the mall

Nothing wrong with that as long as there’s Mutual consent

did you know that bystanders literally do not consent to being a part of public sexual displays

we should domesticate seals

u ring someone’s doorbell and instead of hearing a dog’s bark u hear a super deep terrifying seal bark and u hear a loud wet flopping noise

that’s the world i want to live in

Do you ever start to like think or miss an ex best friend and then you’re like “yikes, let’s not” because they fucked you over and emotionally damaged you in some way cause same

gina rodriguez and john mulaney went to the same high school and overlapped two years wow

so are you inplying that she may have also attended jake mcnamara’s house party

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED

#Satisfaction.

HAHAHAHAHA SERVES YOU RIGHT FUCKER

resist the urge to give up on healing just because it is slow

weird and horrible how as soon as a girl turns 18 she loses any protection from being taken advantage of… 17 and a half is a child but just turned 18 is fair game for male sexual predators

the fact that men think an 18 year old girl has all the wisdom and capabilities of an adult woman is bad, but it’s particularly barf-worthy to realize that they don’t actually think 18 is the line between a girl and a woman. it’s only the law that says that. men think a girl is ready to become a woman and do things women do as soon as she “looks” like a woman or begins to imitate women. male sexuality is inherently wack and we are failing girls by exposing them to it.

can you guys please rb this version instead

I love how the search function on this site is absolute garbage. I can look up a post word for word and I will NEVER find it

This usually works but for some reason a lot of posts get indexed on google from a person’s URL based on the posts that were recently reblogged on page 1, meaning that this is only a tiny bit more reliable.

you’re a genius holy shit

its just me and my coochie against the world