geese?

That Ngozi email is the functional equivalent of being in the process of putting my clown makeup on,* poorly, because it’s been like an actual decade, only to hear circus music in the distance while a flier advertising my former home drifts to me gently on a breeze scented with apple maple pie

just so you all know the attic poll has reached instagram now. there's no escaping

he's a 10, but he would pick a person over 1000 roaches

He's a 10, but he would rather lose his home to mass infestation than speak to a stranger

this is truly on god the first would you rather that i've ever had to devote significant thought to. neither of these answers feel good

not only has this poll escaped omgcp containment, but people in the notes are arguing about the right answer exactly like the Samwell Men’s Hockey team did during their roadie

this is truly on god the first would you rather that i've ever had to devote significant thought to. neither of these answers feel good

a holster who almost ruined the surprise proposal bc he cornered bitty for an hour the night and looked him dead in the eyes to try to give him a genuinely concerned "you know you can do better right? plenty of fish in the sea" talk

holster: if he's got dirt on you blink twice. blink twice. okay blink — blink twice now. or right now. bitty blink twice now

Bitty: Hehlo, everyone, my name is Eric Bittle (imperceptibly smug) and this is my husband Jack.

jack zimmermann and shang from mulan have the same character arc, discuss

on a scale of “eat more protein” to “you fight good,” how bad are you at expressing emotions