bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent
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@bitchinberium
bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent
world heritage post

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me gleefully choosing alarm sounds that will startle and upset me for the next morning at 4:45 am
As cat owners we like to joke about how the cat is the one who’s really in charge, but let’s be honest here: my cats think they’re in charge, but they’re also fucking dumbasses. It’s sort of an incompetent-king-and-long-suffering-advisor arrangement, if the king were prone to getting their head stuck in Kleenex boxes.
Me, disentangling my cat’s claw from the blankets for the third time:
credit
When a disaster bi and lawful good gay collide
The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.
God: where’s Abel?
Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him
It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.
God: Where’s the Sheepkeeper?
Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper?
God: hey where’s Abel???
Cain:

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I don’t understand this…is this heterosexual ?
Genuine ostrich🐧
Three☝️☝️☝️payments🤑💵💴💶
OH!😲
wait, What??😧❓
I’m just goofin'😂🤡
New Boot Goofin'™️😏👢🤠
its SO fascinating how little girls have this inherent need to throw twigs and leaves and dirt together and mix them with water .. how we all called that some variant of the word potion …. how its an intercultural thing that no one taught us to do ……………. keep fostering that witch energy ladies
I
I gotfa make ththe thing
I RAN OUT OF GLUE
I NEED TO FIND MORE GLUE BEFORE HE DOES IT TO ME
He did it to him

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Reblog for good luck!
I’m thinking about how we say “spill the tea” or just “tea” and how ppl used to say “spill the beans” like what if we just said “beans” when gossiping
“… and then she told me that he actually wasn’t at her house!”
“oh beans”
Tina Fey & Amy Poehler give advice to women
you are missing something! although those are the boots of the apollo 11 suits, they’re not what was worn on the moon. neil armstrong, not content with wearing just one pair of shoes, demanded nasa make him another, larger and cooler pair of boots just for walking on the moon.
you can see them here, to the right of the suit’s built-in boots.
photos of armstrong on the moon prominently feature the boots!
although i couldn’t find any official nasa photos of the bottoms of the boots, i could find something even more interesting! an x-ray of the boots “taken as a last minute check to see if there were any foreign objects that could compromise the integrity of the spacesuit during the mission, such as broken off tips of needles that were used in the stitching process”
the thick vertical lines are the treads at the bottoms of the boots
on a more pragmatic note: if nasa was faking a moon landing with a $150 billion+ budget, do you really think they’d mess up something as simple as a boot print?
Typical rainy day in Venice
For a second I thought this was a themed restaurant
Humans will literally adapt to anything

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me absolutely plastered at my own wedding with my beautiful wife right beside me