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Xuebing Du
Mike Driver
hello vonnie
Origami Around
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
NASA
Today's Document
roma★
Product Placement
Show & Tell
blake kathryn
oozey mess
occasionally subtle
JVL
★
sheepfilms
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@jadedanddark
Sing with me:
If their blog has only two posts that's a bot! 👏👏
If their likes page is all porn gifs that's a bot! 👏👏
If there's bootlick in the comments
If their takes are total nonsense
You can block report ignore, cause that's a bot! 👏👏
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something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.
I forget the source but one of my favorite wizard quotes was "In addition to being a conduit for immense power, a sorcerer staff is also a big stick."
i understand all that shit about honor and knighthood and solemn vows but “kingslayer” is simply a bad insult. it sounds cool as fuck. might as well call him the landlord annihilator or the billionaire’s bane.
You could argue that as an insult it talks about him being really really bad at his job. Kingslayer for a guy who's only job description is protect the king just means he fucked that up in the most way possible.
It would be like calling a sea captain Boatsinker or a a firefighter Startsfire.
Remember that time the Pequod met another ship that wouldn't let anybody board because they had some sort of plague and Starbuck was so pissed because he knew the other first mate and they were just mad at each other on principle? In my heart I believe it is because both first mates were clairvoyant and hated each other's guts about it.
Starbuck: wait u said this ship is the Jearum? Is the mate named Gabriel?
Stubb (yelling): HEY JEARUM WHO'S YOUR FIRST MATE
Captain of the Jearum: HIS NAME'S GABRIEL
Starbuck: oh my god i know that weirdo he's such a BITCH
Stubb: OUR MATE SAYS YOUR MATE IS A LITTLE BITCH
Captain of the Jearum: YEAH THAT'S CORRECT
Gabriel: hey fuck you AND FUCK YOU TOO STARBUCK I KNOW YOU'RE OVER THERE
Starbuck: YOU'RE A CHARLATAN AND I HOPE YOU GET THE POX
Gabriel: YOU ALREADY KNOW I WON'T
Starbuck: FUCK YOU
Regular human being: Happy holidays!
War on Christmas conservatives for some reason: *screaming crying throwing up chewing glass* omg you're oppressing me as a Christian!!! You need to put Christ back into Christmas!!
Corporations: It's the Christmas in July Toyota summer sales event!
Same conservatives: this is fine actually
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Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space
Don't forget to play it loud as fuck
please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.
This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.
It took them two tries to ban it?
If this horrible thing happened to two separate crews I think both of them should have come back ready to kill people and then there would be a very weird scramble from all the NASA scientists trying to figure out why going to space makes you want to kill Bob Crippen specifically
lets smooch mama
Uno reverse, mama smooches you!
(I am deeply in love with these deers, I see them every day and have followed their progress sonce they were the size of cats)
Cannot stand the trend of censoring any and all words that describe concepts that might make you go :( especially when the censoring is done in that quarter-assed way that's just 'did a lil scribble over a vowel so you know that I know this word describes a no-no."
I'm not even going to be vague about what sparked this. Do not fucking censor the word 'stole.' I'm at my fucking limit.
Who does this benefit. Who is made safer by this. Whose life is made better by this. Who is out there going "Wow I sure am glad I didn't have to see that word without it scribbled on a little. That really reduced the emotional impact of reading that word." Can I kill them?
I hate to add this but it is important to me that I not be alone in having viewed this with my own two eyes on insta:
The time was 6:45 am. I had been awake long enough to make coffee. Can you guess what happened based on the environmental storytelling above?
1. My zombie self
2. Cold fresh milk
3. Delicious hot coffee
4. Cereal that needs to have something poured over it in order to become food
Hint: disaster.
Humans developed eyes as a threat display to better mimic moths
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Ahab, talking about literally just going to bed: it feels like descending into one's tomb, to traverse that narrow scuttled stair.
Ishmael: I am going to imprint on you like a duckling
RIP Ishmael, you would have hated Veggie Tales
Lol my dash did the thing.
Ishmael: Captain it kind of feels like you're not really out here because you love the sea like I do, what is your purpose
Ahab:
(I spent way too long on this😭)
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Comic by Matthew Shultz for Dune Zine Issue 100
Biting and scratching and foaming at the mouth because I am having feelings about Moby Dick again.
Sadly my favorite audiobook recording for this is gone from the library system. But i have found an acceptable substitute after a few tries!
The ones that didn't make the cut make me insane. Why would you have Ishmael voiced by anyone other than the most idiot young man you can get? Why have an obvious Old telling this story? Like do you even understand what the book is about??
He IS old, as this is all his memory. But that's the point that's the point that's the point he's young again while he's telling it! Everyone is alive and doing what they love while he's telling it!! That's why it's seven hundred pages long, he's dragging it out on purpose, that's the POINT!!
Ishmael isn't even his name! It's a made-up name that he asked you to call him by in the very first sentence, and that name literally means "God is listening." He needs to tell the story and anybody who will listen is good enough and if nobody will listen then God will. And for the few moments that the story is going his people are alive and everything is okay.
Call him Ishmael. He's a young man.
