occasionally subtle
#extradirty
Mike Driver
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Claire Keane
Keni
⁂
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
DEAR READER
izzy's playlists!
will byers stan first human second
Andulka
One Nice Bug Per Day
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
tannertan36
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@jadedanddark
Sing with me:
If their blog has only two posts that's a bot! 👏👏
If their likes page is all porn gifs that's a bot! 👏👏
If there's bootlick in the comments
If their takes are total nonsense
You can block report ignore, cause that's a bot! 👏👏
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i understand all that shit about honor and knighthood and solemn vows but “kingslayer” is simply a bad insult. it sounds cool as fuck. might as well call him the landlord annihilator or the billionaire’s bane.
You could argue that as an insult it talks about him being really really bad at his job. Kingslayer for a guy who's only job description is protect the king just means he fucked that up in the most way possible.
It would be like calling a sea captain Boatsinker or a a firefighter Startsfire.
Remember that time the Pequod met another ship that wouldn't let anybody board because they had some sort of plague and Starbuck was so pissed because he knew the other first mate and they were just mad at each other on principle? In my heart I believe it is because both first mates were clairvoyant and hated each other's guts about it.
Starbuck: wait u said this ship is the Jearum? Is the mate named Gabriel?
Stubb (yelling): HEY JEARUM WHO'S YOUR FIRST MATE
Captain of the Jearum: HIS NAME'S GABRIEL
Starbuck: oh my god i know that weirdo he's such a BITCH
Stubb: OUR MATE SAYS YOUR MATE IS A LITTLE BITCH
Captain of the Jearum: YEAH THAT'S CORRECT
Gabriel: hey fuck you AND FUCK YOU TOO STARBUCK I KNOW YOU'RE OVER THERE
Starbuck: YOU'RE A CHARLATAN AND I HOPE YOU GET THE POX
Gabriel: YOU ALREADY KNOW I WON'T
Starbuck: FUCK YOU
Regular human being: Happy holidays!
War on Christmas conservatives for some reason: *screaming crying throwing up chewing glass* omg you're oppressing me as a Christian!!! You need to put Christ back into Christmas!!
Corporations: It's the Christmas in July Toyota summer sales event!
Same conservatives: this is fine actually
Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space
Don't forget to play it loud as fuck
please….listen to the whole thing. And imagine that you are IN SPACE in 1973 and you JUST woke up. Every time you adjust…it escalates somehow.
This song had to be designed in a lab for the sole purpose of fucking with astronauts. whoever added it to the NASA playlist was a genius.
It took them two tries to ban it?
If this horrible thing happened to two separate crews I think both of them should have come back ready to kill people and then there would be a very weird scramble from all the NASA scientists trying to figure out why going to space makes you want to kill Bob Crippen specifically
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lets smooch mama
Uno reverse, mama smooches you!
(I am deeply in love with these deers, I see them every day and have followed their progress sonce they were the size of cats)
Cannot stand the trend of censoring any and all words that describe concepts that might make you go :( especially when the censoring is done in that quarter-assed way that's just 'did a lil scribble over a vowel so you know that I know this word describes a no-no."
I'm not even going to be vague about what sparked this. Do not fucking censor the word 'stole.' I'm at my fucking limit.
Who does this benefit. Who is made safer by this. Whose life is made better by this. Who is out there going "Wow I sure am glad I didn't have to see that word without it scribbled on a little. That really reduced the emotional impact of reading that word." Can I kill them?
I hate to add this but it is important to me that I not be alone in having viewed this with my own two eyes on insta:
The time was 6:45 am. I had been awake long enough to make coffee. Can you guess what happened based on the environmental storytelling above?
1. My zombie self
2. Cold fresh milk
3. Delicious hot coffee
4. Cereal that needs to have something poured over it in order to become food
Hint: disaster.
Humans developed eyes as a threat display to better mimic moths
Ahab, talking about literally just going to bed: it feels like descending into one's tomb, to traverse that narrow scuttled stair.
Ishmael: I am going to imprint on you like a duckling
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RIP Ishmael, you would have hated Veggie Tales
Lol my dash did the thing.
Ishmael: Captain it kind of feels like you're not really out here because you love the sea like I do, what is your purpose
Ahab:
(I spent way too long on this😭)
Comic by Matthew Shultz for Dune Zine Issue 100
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Biting and scratching and foaming at the mouth because I am having feelings about Moby Dick again.
Sadly my favorite audiobook recording for this is gone from the library system. But i have found an acceptable substitute after a few tries!
The ones that didn't make the cut make me insane. Why would you have Ishmael voiced by anyone other than the most idiot young man you can get? Why have an obvious Old telling this story? Like do you even understand what the book is about??
He IS old, as this is all his memory. But that's the point that's the point that's the point he's young again while he's telling it! Everyone is alive and doing what they love while he's telling it!! That's why it's seven hundred pages long, he's dragging it out on purpose, that's the POINT!!
Ishmael isn't even his name! It's a made-up name that he asked you to call him by in the very first sentence, and that name literally means "God is listening." He needs to tell the story and anybody who will listen is good enough and if nobody will listen then God will. And for the few moments that the story is going his people are alive and everything is okay.
Call him Ishmael. He's a young man.
in absolute tears about the pride module at my work
HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY
Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...
Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).
happy first day of pride everyone
Listened to this on my way to work this morning!!
