Just another fat timtum

Her eyes cast away. For a moment, I think she won't speak. Finally, she murmurs, ‘The lid of the toilet tank broke in half but I just stuck the broken lid back on the toilet for weeks. Then one day when I was getting into the shower, the faucet knob broke, and I couldn’t turn the water off and then I hip-checked the toilet tank, and the broken lid fell off and through my hand, and I was naked and bleeding and the water wouldn’t turn off so I just stood there screaming for like five minutes before I could decide what to deal with first.’

OP: How I created this visual magic (cr 阿梓蔗)

Worker: We order everything fresh from a reliable source.

Me: That's great, I just wanted to let you know just in case.

Worker: Well it couldn't have been us, we follow a very strict procedure.

Me: ....Okay, yeah, I'm not looking for compensation or anything. It could have been something else. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up in case, I don't know, something happened in transit, or someone has the flu or something.

Worker: They don't. We don't do that.

Me: ......

Me: Okay well like I said, I'm not calling to complain, we're just covering our bases. Thanks though.

Worker: Okay. Have a good one.

Me: You too

*click*

Me to my brother: They say it wasn't them

the aircraft emergency frequency (known as GUARD in the usa) is SUPPOSED to be used for emergencies. the frequency is 121.5 mhz. it is for all international air distress and emergencies and stuff (theres a different one for military)

however. for some goddamn reason. for at least the past ten years (maybe more) there has been meowing. random pilots going “meowww!” on the emergency frequency. this is often followed by at least 8 different people yelling “GUARRRRD” “YOUR ON GUARD” “STOP FUCKING MEOWING” and at least 3 others meowing also.

i have a radio and often tune into this frequency if i want to hear local airplane pilots/control tower operators act like absolute fools.

here’s some operators using GUARD to try to contact a flight that went missing (they found them) and just the absolute nonsense, the one guy spamming caribbean music, the voice changer, and the meowing and guard police are so fucking funny. GUARD is always doing shit like this. its great. (note that he isnt on the frequency until 1:30, so the other shit is just normal coworker conversations. “who the fuck eats honeydew” is just two coworkers not abusing resources).

• someone barking, which was nice variety and very much appreciated to see more canine representation in my field

• airline captains making full cabin announcements, not realizing they were transmitting, followed by several other pilots asking questions as if they were in the cabin

• airline captain making about half a cabin announcement before stopping cold, pausing for about 3 seconds, and mumbling "...I am so fucking sorry," then presumably making the announcement again to his actual cabin

• two pilots for different airlines speaking Italian to each other (one of these was actually my captain, the other guy was a friend from his last job)

I have given the viruses a stick.