for the sake of realism

Kathleen Hanna, from My Life With Evan Dando, Popstar (as appears in The Riot Grrrl Collection)

1

He’s Evan The Wounded Boy

2

I fell in love with Evan because it seemed like the worst thing i could do at the time. I fell in love with Evan because it was totally uncool and pathetic which is how i feel inside. I fell in love with Evan because the band i am in started getting all this weird attention and i felt like he was the only one who would understand. I fell in love with Evan because sometimes i wish i was a boy and that the worst thing that ever happened to me was having too many girls like me. I fell in love with Evan because i wanted him to die and thought if i could get him to love me i would show him what a broken heart really was. I fell in love with Evan because he is a total slut and everyone thinks its very cute, unlike when i was in jr hi and high school and the word “slut” followed me everywhere at arms length. I fell in love with Evan because i don’t do drugs and so i need other destructive pasttimes. I fell in love with Evan because i can’t deal with real boys barely at all and yet am wildly attracted their flat chests and strait hips (sometimes) and Evan is my perfect boyfriend because i am allowed to invent him all by myself.

3

yeah, yeah, oh yeah.

I hate the stripbar customer who jacks off under the table and then gives me 50 bucks for it LESS THAN i hate the guy on the bus who jacks off under his Reader’s Digest bookbag and then pays me nothing for it.

4

1. Write about all the bad people who have power and why i hate them. (but i do not believe in good/bad anymore)

2. Write a letter to a person who has exploited me and explain why they are fuckers. (but then i am just supporting the idea that their action is even important at all and letting them dictate the form my resistance might take, ie, reactionary instead of actionary)

3. Write a letter to a person who has abused me only it doesn’t make sense in terms of traditional logic. Don’t even send it.

4. Write something about killing people i hate that makes me feel powerful.