A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

scrolling down and seeing the second half of the joke in a separate post. excellent gambit

love seeing one post and going ok not sure what that means and then

bro will you be my bate bro

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

Mixing tea with pink lemonade, call that an Arnold Palm Her

this girl im seeing just called me “green bean”, forgetting that was the name of the pet rat i had whom i loved the most of all his brothers and whose death im still hung up on years later, and i feel like it gave me a glimpse into a brave new frontier of hornyposting

calling her mommy is normie, calling her daddy is played out, calling her by her dead son’s name is the wave of the future