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YOU ARE THE REASON
trying on a metaphor

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@bigboomer101
buzzed hedgehogs

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The problem with studying the deep ocean is that humans need light to look at things, the depths of the ocean are extremely dark, and what lives there is accustomed to spending most of its time in that darkness. So when we go down there with submersibles and turn on Big Lights to see, we invariably and dramatically alter what's going on, in the same way that it's generally difficult to observe the natural behaviors of terrestrial animals if you whip out a megaphone and shout HEY GUYS WHAT ARE YOU DOING at them first.
A humble snubnose eelpout on its way to the whale fall buffet when some nearby humans give it a quick, unintrusive study:
I put this in the comments but feel it needs a reblog- Check out some of Dr Edith Widder’s work on light in the deep sea! Among other things, she used the bioluminescence of stoplight fish to deduce wavelengths which most deep sea animals can’t perceive and used that to create light filters to be able to film with minimal disturbance! And that’s how we got 25 minutes of giant squid footage!!!!
Sometimes it's not "your fault" but it's still "your problem" because nobody else can fix it.
If your history of trauma causes you to respond to totally normal interactions as if you're under threat of violence, you are likely to be a source of trauma for other people, and you should work on that.
It's not your fault that you were traumatized, but you're literally the only person who can fix you.
Princess carry 💙🩷
Bride style works both ways!
When I was 16, I went to the doctor for widespread, full body pain. My doctor took one look at me and dismissed my medical concerns as a purely hormonal issue. According to her, my natural, unshaven legs were "abnormally hairy" for a girl my age. She ignored everything I had to say and ignored me to a gynecologist.
Just hours later, I was hospitalized for my pain, which was now accompanied by a fever and a heart rate of 160 BPM. I was confused and disoriented, and every blood test pointed towards high levels of inflammation. The doctors, in their report, attributed my symptoms to sepsis.
That wasn't my first time experiencing transphobia in American healthcare hell, but it is by far the most obvious example. My doctor didn't care that I was in pain. She only cared that I, a nonbinary teenager with an F on their birth certificate, didn't meet her expectations of femininity.
This is why it pisses me off when people tell me I'm not really trans, or that I don't experience transphobia as a nonbinary person. I could have fucking died that day, purely because my doctor couldn't see past my nonbinary identity and gender expression.
I went to urgent care with symptoms of thrombocytopenia. When they ran my labs, my platelets were pretty low, roughly 50,000 (normal range is above 120,000 and emergency range is below 30,000). I was advised to make an appointment with my primary care doctor ASAP to be referred to a hematologist (as required by my insurance), and to go to the ER if it got any worse before that appointment.
Four days later, it got worse. I was confused, dizzy, uncoordinated, and generally not feeling well. I immediately went to the ER.
Initially, I was treated pretty normally. They put in an IV, drew blood, asked me about my symptoms, all the normal stuff, and they were generally pretty nice about it. But then they had me do patient registration, where I was given the opportunity to put my preferred name and pronouns on my chart, rather than continue to get deadnamed and misgendered, which was causing me additional stress on top of The Symptoms.
They called me my preferred name one time, and sounded very confused doing so. Once they realized I was transgender, the quality of my care immediately declined. No more nice chitchat. No more asking how I was doing. No more smiling.
They sent me home. I got my lab results in my discharge paperwork. My platelets were at 27,000. When I went to my primary care doctor the next day and she saw my labs, she immediately got red in the face.
“What the fuck? They sent you home? They’re supposed to admit you for anything below 30,000! What the fuck were they thinking?”
I didn’t know whether or not she’d believe me if I said it was because I’m nonbinary, so I just said I didn’t know.
She managed to find a hematologist in my network that could fit me in for an emergency transfusion two days later. My platelets were at 12,000 at that point and he said if I’d so much as bumped into something wrong before I got there, I would’ve died.
Don’t ever fucking tell me that nonbinary people have “cissexual privilege”.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i Really love when two characters are really quite similar but in such a way that they just hate eachother onsight.. dog barking at a mirror type beef
xkcd #122 came out in 2006 and yet still manages to describe a ridiculous number of people on this website. You want your manic pixie dream girl so badly until she has her own interests and isn't just for your amusement.
Cm for @/anemone_higanbana on Insta! 🌸

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
I love informed consent, I love dignity of risk, I love the thought of having someone willing to tell me why the thing that I'm about to do is a bad idea, telling me in detail exactly what the consequences are, what's going to happen and why, and what's the worst that can happen, and then having no power to stop me when I decide to do it anyway because I'm an adult and I'm allowed to get my shit kicked in so fucking bad while doing something stupid if I so choose.
The act of simply watching people have sex is itself morally neutral. That's all porn is.
it isn’t, though. sorry if I’m missing a joke here but… it really, really isn’t.
It is. There is nothing wrong with watching people have sex. The morality of it depends on the context (buying porn from sex workers to watch is good, revenge porn is bad, for example), but watching people fuck? That's morally neutral. It's just watching some activities.
Almost all porn is abuse, you know that right? Most women in porn are drugged and then raped.
Even if she were paid, it would still be coercive, similarly to prostitution. You cannot buy women, or their consent. That immediately creates a coercive force that makes the consent invalid.
Ok so first of all you're lying. That is not how most porn works at all.
Regarding economic coercion, that's called having a job. But also I promise you there is a world of difference between trying to buy a person (for the love of fuck will you people ever aknowledge its not only women in porn and work conditions are a concern for EVERYONE involved) and someone making a career in porn.
Also re read what I said because you have said nothing that argues against what im saying AT ALL.
The way these people talk about sex workers genuinely makes me sick. Sex workers are not being bought, they are not owned by people paying them. They are compensated for their services or performance, like every other worker. They own themselves no matter what. They deserve dignity and respect and their work not being described in such horrible fucking ways.
And it's genuinely fucked up to tell people what they can and cannot consent to tbh? You don't get to choose that for others and then try to say you genuinely care about consent. You just want to control people.
Absolutely right. We are people, we own ourselves, we decide what we do and don't want to do. Honestly if I attach the criteria of pay and a camera to my consent, denying me that is no less fucked up than forcing that on me.
Puritanical christians/radfems and rapists/traffickers are two sides of the same coin and all ultimately working towards the goal of ruining people's lives for their own benefit.
Also, it needs to be repeated again that stigmatization of sex work leaves trafficking victims trapped. They are now in an even more socioeconomically disadvantaged position than before because no one will want to help an "icky porn star" who is being exploited.
To help trafficked and coerced sex workers we necessarily must end the demonization of sex work or else you are giving traffickers the literal tools to force unwilling people into it!
One of my family members was sex trafficked. Her case became a part of state legal precedent because her trafficker's conviction resulted in an expanded definition of one of the terms used to define trafficking (kept vague for the sake of my family's anonymity.) You know what one of the biggest barriers was to her getting help?
The fact that everyone she reached out to saw her as a stupid meth head "whore" and not a person who was fucking afraid for her life.
If society had shown sex workers some basic amount of decency, she might have had the social standing to get help sooner.
remember: a big part of what "sex work is work" means is "let sex workers have workers' protections"
I got to see a change in the criminal law, in real time, that shifted the window on how sex workers are treated in my state. Agencies that tended to treat them as perpetrators, even when they were victims, had their behavior changed the most. But even the more progressive police departments, and of course any number of labor- and benefit-related agencies, also got a few notches more understanding and accepting.
TL;DR: sex workers are people, sex work is work, and the road to utopia is paved with extremely boring legislation and administrative decisions.
this is such a simple point but god it needs to be repeated. i keep seeing even young, progressive people say "porn rots peoples brain" no!! misoginy rots peoples brains!! a video of people having sex consensually is literally fine!!
and not to become wokezilla but it has me sat the way bigotry and all of bad things a person can do continue to be Explained Away by speculating the bigot must have brain damage it be from porn or whatever, its not that bigotry benefits the bigot in society, it couldnt be that, otherwise everybody (including me!) could become a bigot, and im Morally Pure and Leftist, so bigots must have some immutable Sick In The Head quality that actually makes them act this way, it be from birth or from consumption of media that I Personally find immoral
I never liked those posts that reduce the Disney princesses to “girl who overacts about something and dramatically flings herself down and bawls” (super popular in the early 10’s and somehow that’s how a shocking majority view the classics now) but after an Aladdin (1992) rewatch, it’s especially egregious that they ever included Jasmine in that.
This part. This is the part I’m talking about
This is not a woman falling to pieces because her father won’t let her marry a man she just met.
This is a woman born to a life she has very little say in. She has never had a genuine friend (besides a tiger). She is facing a marriage to a man she doesn’t know and doesn’t like but duty (and the law) demands it. So she took a risk, ran away, ran to a world she doesn’t know or understand and when she landed in trouble (serious, serious trouble) a stranger came to her aid. She finally (finally!) made a real connection with someone but they didn’t get much time together before the guards showed up and she had to reveal who she was.
This moment when she’s crying her heart out? It comes after she’s been told that the first person she ever connected with, the first person to be genuinely interested in her for who she is and not what she is, the first real friend she has ever made, was executed… because of her.
She believes a good, innocent person has lost their life because of her actions, and what’s more, it brings home the reality for her that she cannot have a normal life or normal relationships, because see the consequences one little attempt wrought?
I actually love this trope. People treat crying like some kind of moral failure. Boys shouldn't cry, girls *can* cry, but that's also what makes them inferior. If this is not an example of toxic masculity, I don't know what is.
Crying is normal. Even if it's over something trivial. We all face a lot of struggles in their lives, whether we acknowledge it or not. Something minor might end up breaking the camel's back.
Anyway, here's one of my favorite scenes in Beauty and the Beast:
Belle's reaction is completely understandable. I think Mrs. Potts put it best: "The girl lost her father and her freedom all in one day." That's not overreacting!
Thank you so much for adding Belle!
Really, none of the classic princesses deserve the misinterpretation.
Cinderella?
Again, this is not after someone told her “yOu CaN’t MaRrY a MaN yOu JuSt MeT”—this is after she went to great lengths to get ready for the ball, adhering to the intentionally difficult (meant to be impossible) stipulations set by her abusive step-mother for her to be allowed to attend (when really she was invited and had as much right as the others to attend). She made that dress (I can’t recall off the top of my head if the classic animated version was also her mother’s old dress she restyled or not but still, she put in a ton of work on top of all the extra house work) and what did her step-family do? They tore to shreds while she was wearing it. Of course she’s lost hope: it’s the final straw after years and years of doggedly remaining optimistic despite constant harsh treatment.
Let’s go to another favourite: Mulan.
Mulan’s just had the worst day.
She tried her hardest to live up to her family’s and her society’s expectations and vision of a perfect bride but she failed. Not only did it go wrong, but she was publicly humiliated by the Matchmaker—by extension, humiliating her family.
Granted, her family has been kind and sympathetic about the whole thing. Her father even goes to encourage her, assuring her of his unconditional love for her and his confidence that she’ll get it right next time.
She’s just beginning to smile when the drums pound and news of war reaches their village. Her father—her beloved father who’s already a veteran and lives with a disability—is expected as the only male in their family to suit up and head out in the morning.
Mulan can’t help. Nothing she says will be listened to and she can’t take his place (until, of course, she thinks of a way to do so which this moment of crying it out in the rain leads to—score one for having a good cry and clearing your head).
There’s of course more. Take any princess’ dramatic crying momentTM and review the context and I’ll bet you’ll see it’s never as trivial as some have framed it. And, yes, like prev pointed out, it’s this awful thing of people believing boys can’t cry and girls can but then they can never be taken seriously.
Crying is healthy. And crying in response to emotional distress is totally normal. Writers and storytellers across the ages have understood it and portrayed it.

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SURVIVE: The Future's Echo
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This is just a short side story from my main comic titled Survive.
I'll Bet My Life