noise dept.
Keni
JBB: An Artblog!
Mike Driver
Xuebing Du
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blake kathryn
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Today's Document
trying on a metaphor
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@marseny
I really wonder what the demographic outcome would be of trans people involuntarily getting "the body you'd have if practicality wasn't a concern" like what percentage of the resulting bodies would be obviously nonhuman?
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams she found herself transformed in her bed into a cyborg werewolf with dragonfly wings.
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I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.
I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"
nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭
I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.
I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"
nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭
after a couple hours chopping dried sea urchins into tiny pieces with a razor blade you start referring to the razor blade as yourself in your thoughts. a little while afterwards you'll inevitably think something along the lines of "i'm getting a bit dull, i'm going to have to throw myself out & get myself a new self" at which point your internal monologue has pretty much returned to baseline
This happens with mobility aids too. I bump into shit with my forearm crutches and say "ow" before I realize those are not, in fact, More Legs. Then when I get up and try to walk without them for a second there's a moment of feeling like a dog walking upright
my mom loves to go "why is it that BOTH my daughters [insert behavior she disapproves of]" in this tone of total cosmic injustice and I'm like hmm. well. it's a mystery. what do both your daughters have in common? well, we share both genetic parents. and we were raised in the same house, by the same people. hmmm. I don't know. it must be a wild and unfair coincidence having to do with unpredictable external factors. certainly nothing to do with you
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im so sick of unnecessary dinner scenes in movies 😡 every fucking movie they just want to titillate you with some food because they think you’re a dumb animal who just wants to see mashed potatoes bouncing. if its an IMPORTANT dinner scene where they explain lore then whatever i understand. but they shove useless meals into every movie these days and its disgusting
really? you don’t say
its true though sex scenes are bad and you only are defending them cuz you wont question that men put their fetishes into everything. movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes and if rhey do its not gratuitous and lasts two seconds or its played for comedy . Fuck you and your dinners idc bro
movies by women literally just dont have sex scenes
i mean, it’s true! as long as you discount the crazy outliers like Jane Campion, Mary Harron, Sofia Coppola, Andrea Arnold, Julia Ducournau, Claire Denis, Céline Sciamma, Anna Biller, Jennifer Kent, Eliza Hittman, Cheryl Dunye, Dee Rees, Donna Deitch, Joanna Hogg, Rose Glass, Diablo Cody, Emma Seligman, Kitty Green, Halina Reijn, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Charlotte Wells,
Famously, women as a group have never had anything to say about sex. Certainly not artistically speaking.
My favorite part is when the kitty runs to the window and looks out like “the outside stuff????? It is inside?????”
i
i had to
Y’all this is a great video to study to observe the body language of a very happy but also very excited cat. Lots of people see videos of excited cats doing things like climb rock climbing walls or get on small boats and think they are angry or scared, when they aren’t. Here’s a good example of happy excitement and tension in a cat where the cat’s pleasure is easy to see. The cat’s tail is lashing and its ears are going backward and forward like crazy, but the cat is not angry, it is merely off its shits because snow is just incredible. This is a wildly playful cat which might play-attack a hand or other animal because it is so excited, but not out of anger. Note the zoomies at the end to burn off some of that energy!
Think about it. When we humans do something fun and very physical, our bodies are often tense, at the ready, and a lot of our body language does look kind of aggressive or even scared. Cats are the same! Animals at play or investigating new things often show some tension, but tension is not the same as anger or fear!
“Your ancestors are amazed at all your spices!”
“Your ancestors are impressed that you are an educated woman!”
“Your ancestors are proud that you are thriving in spite of what society did to them and you”
It’s all very sweet! But! Necromancy! Is! Still! Illegal! Your ancestors are going back in the ground!
Stop resurrecting them to show off!
guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone
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"Why don't the people of Gotham just move?"
Because it's a massive East Coast city but the property values are probably like $200 a month for a three bedroom apartment, and most Gothamites are like, "Hey, Bane never swore to break my back."
And here's the thing: you're not just moving out of Gotham City. You're moving into the rest of the DC universe. And it has hero-based power scaling.
Oh, Metropolis looks fucking great. But it gets invaded by aliens and robots and demigods, because Superman is there.
Wonder Woman's tangling with gods.
You go to Central City, and some Reverse-Flash motherfucker runs backwards from an alternate future and kicks your balls off at the speed of light.
You could move to the West Coast, and oh, an entire city just gets exploded by Cyborg Superman or some shit.
How about you move to Indianapolis, or Cleveland? Haha, no. They have no protector during the alien invasions, and you're in Cleveland
So stay in Gotham. Sure, you have lunatics, but you know that if you had a gun, you at least have a chance against the Joker or Riddler. Mongo of War-World would crush you. But Gotham just has creeps, and you know you have a chance. Even Bane, R'as Al-Ghul, Killer Croc, and Mr. Freeze are just slightly altered dudes. Oh no, Poison Ivy is going to kiss me to death! Who gives a shit, you kinda wanted to go out that way anyway.
There are super-intelligent telepathic gorilla warlords in Africa and the Greek titans are real and chained in the abyss
This does beg the question of why Gotham has such a horrible in-universe reputation when all its villains are relatively human compared to the cosmic bullshit that most other heroes put up with.
I think it's all about perception. Gotham City has crime. But when Ares sends his undying legions to march upon the mortal realm and Wonder Woman has to punch all of them, people don't internalize that as "crime." That's "a crisis" or "a religious event" or at best, terrorism. Same thing when Superman has to stop Brainiac from shrinking Metropolis or whatever. That stuff is objectively more dangerous but it's on such a huge scale that "crime" is not the word for it. The cops don't involve themselves in this at any point. But the stuff Batman deals with is like, robberies, assaults, gang wars, serial killings. All his villains commit actual crimes, so they go into police reports, which end up as statistics. So when someone compiles all this data, oh look, Gotham City has the highest crime rate in the country, yet again. Forget the fact that 10% of Keystone City's population had their skulls crushed by invading superintelligent gorillas. Who cares that a random guy in Opal City accidentally teleported the entire state to Hell after he found out the hard way that he was born a wizard. Those are not crimes. There's nothing in the police recordkeeping app's drop-down menu for a Gorilla invasion. Closest thing we've got is Random Chimp Event.
So my theory is that while Gotham does have a lot of crime, what it does not have is space catastrophes. And so it ends up being the most dangerous city based on a bureaucratic technicality.
all this is very true, I just wanted to point out that the worst thing about metropolis isn't the alien invasions, killer robots or meta human fights breaking buildings, it's the power hungry scheming ego maniac billionaire who gets enough of a pass from the population, despite the several journalistic exposes about him, that he's been able to run for president and win
at least gotham's billionaire is funny in the tabloids and, even if he's rather ditzy, he seems to be helpful to legit causes, against all odds
someone is putting up pictures of me around town and they all say I’m ‘wanted’. which is nice
let's all have a fun time looking up new words when we encounter them to see what they mean before incorporating them into our vocabularies
I sense Maomao's presence
cant help but notice my porcelain critter figures are no longer arranged by height but by taxonomy. who could have done this
gee idk....... thats pretty strange.......
i know right? who goes around impishly rearranging trinkets
wait a fucking second
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i do im celebrating my dogs birthday
shes turning 2
I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday
celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone
