ain't dead yet

@bob-artist This is important!!!

A!

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend

Tump dies tonight while giving his speech in the hot hot sun. Like to charge, reblog to cast

all women should be more hairy and sweaty and eat more food and laugh more loudly. my stance as a feminist and also my stance as a lesbian pervert

sometimes i really feel like i can "outsmart" being autistic and insane via my powers of reason and rationality. like sweetie that's like thinking the oregano in your pasta sauce can outsmart the basil. IT'S THE SAME FUCKING SAUCE!!!!!!

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

You will never understand the mental torture of being 12 years old and having a debilitating crush on Hugo Weaving Elrond & having to lie to ur friends and say you like Legolas Orlando bloom like all the other girls so you don’t get fucking bullied

Now I’m 35 and I have a live sized cardboard Elrond who lives on my stairwell & I kiss him every time I go upstairs so anyway the moral of the story is never kill yourself

Everyone's all "ohhh 2026 bring back physical media" until I start talking illuminated manuscripts and then suddenly we're not on the same page anymore

Actually we are on the same page. We've been on the same page for a week because these things take forever to make

I miss my leeches for all the normal pet reasons but I also miss being able to use them as a one-hit death blow to end stupid conversations. Whenever I defend the ecological importance of parasites someone will inevitably crawl up and go “well I bet you wouldn’t feel that way if you had them” and oooooo boy let me tell you. It was so fun to hit back with “I DO” and then whip out my phone and show them 30 pictures of my fucking Worms

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

You ARE lost, my bus friend. That is a BC Transit bus and a bus stop in Vancouver, the one (1) city in the province whose transit system isn't part of BC Transit.

so ive been meaning to do this poll for a while because my hypothesis is that seattle is the most Tumblr city, likely in the entire world. tumblr has a huge american majority userbase obviously, but just for comparison going forward, only 0.22% of the american population lives in seattle. as of this reblog, this poll is showing 4% of respondents are seattleites. given, this isnt scientific at all, because my blog just has a lot of seattle connections and seattle followers, but it's still an impressive bias

genuinely cannot stop thinking about rocky jerking off or the eridian equivalent sounding not unlike the sounds typically produced by power tools and upstairs neighbours, so grace, who doesn't want to make things awkward by pointing it out because he is a Good Roommate and terminally repressed loser when it isn't overruled by scientific curiosity, not to mention the fact that rocky can literally hear all of his organs 24/7 and only sometimes complains about it (actually a lot less recently, which is kind of strange, but he isn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. because that would be extremely rude and/or forward in this particular instance.), is like alright, okay, i lived and worked in the city for most of my previous half-remembered life, i can get used to this no problem 🙂‍↕️ and instead pavlovs himself into creating the brand new, totally unique, never before seen in the history of human experience fetish for getting ridiculously, painfully turned on by the sounds of construction work taking place outside one's bedroom window

do you ever think susan walking aslan to his death felt familiar to her? to the time she held her father’s hand, squeezing it, trying to give him strength at the train station? because she’d seen how sorrowful his eyes were? how scared? even as he stood as tall as a tree and looked so handsome. but she’s already guessed this was goodbye? do you ever think she grew to resent queens for the wars they started? the wars men fought in their names? do you ever think she resented herself when she had to bid her brothers farewell as they rode on in some campaign to defend their kingdom leaving her to keep narnia strong in their absence—should anything happen to them? when her brothers had to defend her honour when princes from other kingdoms tried to claim her for their own? do you ever think she resented aslan for being just like her father? for leaving her behind—to the world of the living—where difficult decisions had to be made? do you ever think she hated being the one that survived queen?