stabs, one big stab that goes al the way through, panic

Oh my dear anon. I could go on about book Legolas for hours.

BUT, I was watching the extended scene where Aragorn looks into the Palantir and Sauron speaks to him in Black Speech and shows him pictures of a dead Arwen and smashes the Evenstar (Which is a whole other The-Books-Call-Bullshit shebang), and I came up with my own in-universe explanation.

Sauron: *Chilling in Mordor*

An Orc of some kind: My Lord Mairon (Because THAT is what they would call him), the spies have come back from Rivendell.

Sauron: Show me.

Magic Evil Spy: *Shows Sauron the image of a mortal man of the race of Numenor making out with an Elf lady who looks suspiciously familiar…*

Sauron: OH HELL NO!

Evil Spy: Indeed, Master. The Heir of Isildur lives.

Sauron: Get rid of her, now.

Evil Spy: Right away, Mast- her?

Sauron: Yes! Yes yes yes, I don’t care what it takes, get her out of here.

Evil Spy: My Lord, but surely, Isildur’s heir-?

Sauron: Do not harm that man, you hear me? Do not lay a finger on him until she is taken care of.

Evil Spy:

Evil Spy: Are you sure-?

Sauron: Was there a dog?

Spy: A dog, Master?

Sauron: Yes, yes, a dog, a big one.

Spy: Not that I could see, no.

Sauron: Oh well thank Eru for that, at least.

Spy: Are you feeling ill, Master?

Sauron: No, and I’d like to keep it that way. Arwen annihilation is priority number one, ok? And don’t you lay a finger on her man until I say so, got it?

Spy: Alright then…

Sauron, still looking at the image: HE’S GOT THE RING OF FELAGUND!!!

Spy:

And Then you have to go on an even Longer trip with all of these people who’s first impression of you was some cringefail sweaty loser who can’t even keep track of one (1) guy.

Aragorn: I was thinking the wood elves.

Gandalf: You mean the ones that let a hobbit and 13 starving dwarves escape?

glorfindel and asfaloth

unfinished sketch 8/?

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter. 

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

@cuarthol yes perfect thank you exactly this

Feanor: Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh -- lest he taketh with the purpose of surrendering to us -- or afar casteth -- lest 'tis, like, a "ey, catch this" sort of situation whereupon they cast it in our own direction-- a Silmaril. I shall now take a moment to elucidate that we work on a priority-basis, starting from the greatest foes to the least, so that in a hypothetical situation in which both Morgoth and a lesser foe are both in possession of some number of Silmarils we are duty-bound to address Morgoth first and the lesser foe second, even if the latter task seems more easily accomplishable. On that note I should also like to make clear that children below the age of fifty are considered noncombatants and ought not be cast aside to die in the woods. In a hypothetical situation where our black deeds have left us unworthy to touch the stones will also swear we shall wear proper PPE, including thick leather gloves and goggles, if we come to possess them. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day's ending, woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed faileth. On the holy mountain hear in witness, and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda!

SoF: ...

Celegorm: /nudging him with his foot/ Um.. dad?

Manwë: Okay.

Fëanor: See where it says "shall be slain?"

Manwë: No.

Fëanor: Do you have the July 16 revision or the August 1?

Manwë: July.

Fëanor: I'm working from the August 1 revision with Mandos' notes. Here, look. Should this say "shall be slain by us?" For clarity?

Manwë: Sigh. It should say "shall be slain by the named signatories of this oath."

So where on this scale would Maglor fall?

Like, if the Wood Elves caught Maglor would he end up their new pet minstrel or would he be locked away for eternity? Or would Thranduil write Elrond and tell him to come pick up his beach cryptid dad?

So Elrond just gets letters like “I know I promised I would keep an eye on him, but he’s slipped past the Havens and gone inland” & “the Dunedain report a singer in the trees” & “we saw him in the mountains but he got away, sorry dad” & “Haldir spotted something to the north of Lorien” & “Our cousin crossed the Nimrondel on a homemade pontoon, please control him” & “Maglor harassing local spider population in Greenwood” until finally it ends with a letter from Thranduil that says “Your crypid is tied to a tree. Come get him before Legolas gets attached.”

Maglor: I didn’t kidnap him. He came willingly.

Elrond: Dad. Dad I went willingly, BECAUSE THE ALTERNATIVE WAS DYING.

Maglor: Also his dad won’t tell him about his mother, but I know you knew his mother, so I brought him here to talk to you.

Elrond, internally struggling with the idea of a child who wants to hear about their absent parent: ….

Legolas: þulion Elerondo

Maglor: I’m teaching him proper elvish. His accent was atrocious.