Shit Happens

Sooo I’m guessing that for Americans “cross” and “sauce” rhyme?

I cannot imagine what pronunciation would cause them not to, so yes

why is english like this

Me

no i didn’t skip that song because i don’t like it, i skipped it because i don’t have the emotional stability to listen to it now

Advice podcast in a fantasy setting with questions like "I love my werewolf girlfriend but she has a fierce territorial dispute with the neighbour's St Bernard. How can I let my girlfriend know I'm on her side and I love her but also let her know that I think she shouldn't be arguing with a literal puppy without upsetting her"

in these times i will not be shamed for laughing at ted cruz getting out of mandatory quarantine, immediately shaking hands with an infected person, and being forced right back into mandatory quarantine 

“why do u like playing as support?” i enjoy the feeling of ppl needing me

I enjoy knowing that I can choose who lives and dies

affdhbdfjojvtij im goNNA CRY

JELLYFISH IN SPANISH IS JUST “BAD WATER”

Listen, sometimes you’re swimming and you dont see the angry ocean ghost zap you, so you decide that its the water that hurts

i know i wouldnt survive in an austen novel because someone would be britishly, discretely rude to me and i would be completely unable to restrain myself from calling them a cunt to their face

Rich, eccentric, elderly widow Lady peering over at the conversation: That one. That one shall be my heir.

This is how we know cats are sent from heaven

This is how we know that whatever trouble cats cause is deliberate

the time is now

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”

My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.

I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog

How you gonna do us like that bruh???

ITS BACK

ALL THESE CATS ARE LITERALLY: “bitch what the fuck” LAHSLAJSOS

These cats all passed the mirror test and I think that’s impressive

i’m?????????????? they recognise themselves and their owner well enough to check back on their face???

My favorite are the ones that look up slowly as if they were in a horror movie

Cats (2019)

literally ALL of these cats just revealed that not only do they recognize a separate moving image as themselves, but that they recognize their owner AND their placement in space which is actually a Big Fucking Deal and I hope that animal behaviorologists are going nuts over this