Ruiner of Things

IF YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO POST YOUR NSFW ART….

….yeah.

- Sam Gamgee uses the word ‘boner’. In a song. Several times.

- he also writes a poem that contains the phrase ‘golden showers’. (this is actually in the extended cut but they changed it to ‘silver showers’)

- at one point after he’s defeated Saruman steals Merry’s weed & runs away

- Denethor has actual mindreading powers

- so does Faramir (but he’s a nice person so they manifest more as heightened empathy)

- Gandalf ALSO has mindreading powers but for entirely different reasons. he reads Frodo’s mind while he’s sleeping at one point, casually reveals this to Frodo, and Frodo’s just like ‘huh neat’

- rather than bravely drawing the orcs away from Frodo like in the film, in the book Merry and Pippin just kind of, panic, bolt into the woods, and run directly into the orcs’ arms.

- Merry then draws his sword and hacks a bunch of orc hands off

- Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli name themselves ‘the three hunters’ before setting off to rescue Merry and Pippin because they are dorks

- they also improvise a whole song about how much they loved Boromir

- Aragorn does not initially tell the hobbits he’s a friend of Gandalf bcos he wanted them to like him for who he is. im not kidding. he openly admits to this.

- i feel like this is fairly well known but, if you didn’t know Frodo is 50 years old and looks 33

- hobbits PROBABLY age different to humans so looking 33 in practice means he looks about 21

- in accordance with the above Pippin is the equivalent of a 16-17 year old human

- Pippin can pass for a human child and looks like ‘a boy of nine summers’

- this isn’t that weird i just think it’s really cute: Pippin has 3 older sisters and their names are Pearl, Pimpernel and Pervinca. 

- Sam & Rosie have 13 children. One of them is called Goldilocks.

- Frodo has another best friend. His name is Fatty. He stayed behind in the Shire to cover for Frodo’s absence and ends up getting jailed for months by Saruman’s forces.

- Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, who steals spoons, is also jailed by Saruman. (She whacked one of his goons with an umbrella.)

- Grima Wormtongue MAY have eaten an entire hobbit

- Saruman invades the Shire and turns it into a communist hell police state.

- the whole Tom Bombadil thing is common knowledge but if you haven’t read the book i guarantee you he is weirder than you think. 

- to give just 2 examples: 1) the whole tom bombadil arc provides the explanation as to how Eowyn and Merry were able to dispatch the Witch King

- Merry does in fact gift Saruman the weed. It’s the bag it’s in that Saruman steals and runs off with. (also give that Merry stole the weed from Saruman’s personal supply in the first place i can’t say i blame him)

- Legolas falling out of a tree and screaming.

- Legolas dropping hie bow. And screaming.

- Legolas just screamed. A lot.

- Legolas singing a song that he only knew half of.

- “Do what you will in your madness but I wish to see no eyes!”

- Legolas straight up walking away after a battle and singing

- Legolas sneaking Gimli into Valinor like contraband Twizzlers into the movie theater.

- Sam cries because the horrible people cut down the Party Tree. It’s terrible.

- Then he goes to Rosie’s house and she tells him he looks fine, which really means he looks FINE, DAYUM.

Merry and Pippin get married (separately, to women) have kids and become renowned all around the Shire for being amazing and also tall. And then they get old and give all of their offices to the kids and when their wives die, the live together for decades at Crickhollow, until the King of Gondor asks to see his friends one more time, and they travel back together to see the kings Eomer and Aragorn. And they live together there, in Gondor for the rest of their lives, and when they die, THEY ARE BURIED TOGETHER, NEXT TO THEIR KING.

Hela;

Loki coming back to Life like

Loki, clicking his tongue: It seems our dear sister hates listening to me singing ABBA non-stop 

At that [rehearsal], Tom saw that the production designer had put a giant lobster tank in the center of the restaurant and that was just a true design choice just to make it seem like a fancy restaurant. As soon as Tom sees it, he goes, ‘Well, I’m going to go in the tank.’

Even if you’re Tom Hardy, you don’t just jump in a lobster tank and call it day. “The designer was like, ‘We didn’t build it for somebody to go in!’” Fleischer says. “And, you know, they were all live lobsters.”

Then improvised direction required the rejiggering of major elements to allow for Eddie/Venom to plunge into and feast, and for Hardy to do it all safely. As anyone who witnessed the The Mask-like spectacle, they pulled off the construction and stunt work under the wire. And the lobsters gobbled up by a Venomized Eddie? Marshmallow crustaceans with chocolate syrup blood.

This is fine.