always an angel never a god @behindtheatlantic - Tumblr Blog

Match my Heartbeat to your Rhythm - Pynch Band AU

The Strangest Kind of Magic - Raven Cycle Fantasy/Magic AU

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markovchaingang

fired from my job at the microbiology lab and having to carry all my things out in a little cardboard box the size of a thimble

markovchaingang

fired from my job at the microbiology lab and having to carry all my things out in a little cardboard box the size of a thimble

paininmyassachusetts

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

paininmyassachusetts

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can! ❤️❤️❤️

rabbits-of-negative-euphoria

Commissions I will NOT take:

👎 Kids (Teens are fine tho)

👎 Bystanders

👎 Other Hitmen

If you want to know why, message me, but otherwise no hate pls ✨

jelloapocalypse

hey guys, normally i try to keep drama off of my blog but this is really important. I just wanted to let you know that someone named WetWorkKing05 has been taking credit for MY kills over on redbloodle.com and is making money off of my hard work. When I messaged him directly he blocked me and threatened to kill ME >_> I’ve tried talking with the mods about getting his account taken down, but redbloodle has NO policy for this and they are no help at all. i don’t know what to do??

PLS signal boost if you can! And in the meantime, if you need somebody killed, do NOT hire WetWorkKing05! he is a THIEF!

jelloapocalypse

repeat after me:

MURDER 👏 THEFT 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 WORSE 👏 CRIME 👏 THAN 👏 REGULAR 👏 MURDER 👏

uncklerman

Credits to the murderer

vashito

“Why are your prices so high???? I could kill him myself for free! whatever, ur not even that good at murder anyway”

alertmode

Emergency Murder Slots available!

First Person - $450, additional bodies add $375 each

(Basically a steal still my normal rate is $650. Cmon guys it’s $200 off!)

Serious inquiries only. EXPOSURE IS NOT A CURRENCY!

klubbhead

Guys please support all these hardworking Individuals!

Good hitmen are hard to find so it’s up to us to raise awareness!!!!

slumberinggirl-deactivated20210

Omg I love this guy’s work! He’s new and not so well known in the hitman community, but he’s so amazing and is appreciate it if you guys have him some love ❤️❤️

thatquietkid108

Support your local assassins

helloareyouheremdfan

”um why would I pay a hitmen would I could just steal military ai and have it kill anyone I want for free”

shr00mie-rat

Ai military robots can not murder like real hit men, they’re messy and lack the spirit that involves murder

cliodevotus

I’m never leaving this fucking app.

fellooooowsys

Killer jokes, right?

uptownthots

what is a normal amount of photos to have on your phone. probably 28,000 right

uptownthots

DONT SAY THAAAAAAAAT

sanrio-stud

how many pics & videos do you have on your phone?

0-500

501-1,000

1,001-5,000

5,001-10,000

10,001-15,000

15,001-20,000

20,001-25,000

25,001-30,000

30,001-40,000

40,001-50,000

50,001-60,000

> 60,000

Remaining time: 5 hours 8 minutes

#almost 28000 but they're mostly all saved to my OneDrive #and all mostly of my son so I think it's understandable

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baejax-the-great

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

asteroidtroglodyte

I like your brain

sadclowncentral

so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.

it makes you a fruit.

sumverendus

sandpancakecat

taraxippos

Did anyone ever like attempt to document and compile the variations of Barney the dinosaur murder ballads across the elementary school system in the early 2000s. Like legit it has always fascinated me as a phenomena and I would love to know if there were like traceable regional variations or what.

taraxippos

Looking at the tags so far I’m kind of fascinated by how much the ‘I Love You’ parodies vary in their phrasing/murder weapons but the ‘Joy to the World’ ones are nearly identical

karvina

here is my collection of barney murder songs as they appeared in the notes and comments of this post at about 4 pm pacific 7/25, somewhat arbitrarily color coded to show similar memes. it appears that "baseball bat and 2x4" is the mode configuration but there is so much variation that that exact phrasing only makes up a small part of the set. if i knew more about statistical modeling i would turn this into some kind of data tree that shows which phrases are most likely to follow other phrases.

leupagus

Hey so not to be all "what the fuck, Youths," but...what the fuck, Youths

daisyapples

I'd forgotten this was a thing but also I'm not from the states so I'd wonder how many countries this spread to? Because this is pre-internet days which implies it spread organically and in isolation in different groups of kids in different countries across the world, so like, are all kids slightly homicidal?

#I remember this from primary school #and I remember the 2x4 version because I didn't know what a 2x4 was

may12324

Its been a while since i have stayed up past midnight to read a book. But when you have a beefy queer monster hunter? Hmmmmm.... then I dont need much persuading

#this is amazing #she's everything to me

dizzyghoast

brain, heart: idiot bitches who never know what they want

stomach, genitals: idiot bitches who know exactly what they want and never shut up about it

lungs, kidneys, liver: pretty chill organs, all told. if these ones are complaining then i'm usually the one who fucked up

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my-dailydreams

junglejim4322

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

junglejim4322

Where am I

#January was soooooo long and now suddenly it's May???#it's still 2025 to me

depsidase

ladyshinga

selkesson

to the 2025-26 vancouver canucks.

quote from chapter 12, part viii, of the goldfinch by donna tartt.

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podcastwizard

i don’t know how many people on tumblr know about “verticals” - they’re cheaply made soap operas that are filmed vertically so you can watch them on your phone. they’re infamous in the acting world because of the poor writing and nonsensical plots - almost always has something to do with a mafia boss or a vampire or a werewolf - and they always have insane titles like “pregnant with the ceo’s baby” or “forced to marry the alpha king.” i come across tons of them on casting websites and they all have wild titles and descriptions but none of them, None of Them, have truly grabbed me like the title i saw today:

Dr. Fangs: He Prescribes Bites

tiredafel

so. a meme from me. to show how ive been lately

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always an angel never a god