Krev

Except unlike that person, he does not get the vague comfort of knowing that it will all be over relatively soon.

(Meng Mo, rocking back and forth in a little ball in the Very Very Very back of Binghe's mindscape: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

((*VEI (volcanic expositivity idex) tops out at 8

*the highest recorded tsunami is 15,000ft))

(The footnotes at the end are sending me into orbit like thank you I needed to know how fucked this man is and the answer is impossibly so that is beautiful.)

Unlike everyone else in existence Meng Mo can’t run for cover. He is stuck. In Binghe’s head. Until his soul is repaired enough to move on to another host which could take centuries. If at that point Binghe decides to let him go.

He really dint think this through.

Shen Jiu is looking at Shen Yuan like "You can do everything better then me and therefore I hate you so so much fuck you if you walk away when im trying to argue with you and don't pay attention to me im going throw all your favorite stuff in the dumpster"

And meanwhile Shen Yuan is just like "I'm not arguing with a fucking *Toddler* you little shit and also if you try to put my stuff in the dumpster I'm putting *You* in the dumpster"

..............

Mainly I just think it would be really funny if Shen Jiu ended up being the bratty little brother to Shen Yuan's asshole older brother.

This is a call out to me specifically as I am the youngest by like ten years.

This sis absolutely how they look from the outside but both of them think they just absolutely cannot stand the other.

Like Shen Jiu’s inferiority complex cannot handle Shen Yuan in the slightest and Shen Yuan still hasn’t forgiven Shen Jiu for his everything so in their minds they are mortal enemies (or as close to it as they can be when Shen Yuan sees Shen Jiu as a toddler and he unlike SOME PEOPLE does not believe in child abuse.)

I fully believe that Qijiu serve as inspiration too, and likely at greater frequency given their proximity.

Liu Qingge is going to combust on the spot if he ever finds out about the things his baby sister is writing about either two of his shixiong or a sect ally and former disciple.

There are genuine concerns Shen Yuan would dissolve their alliance over these.

One of the dragon aunties is Liu Mingyan’s beta reader and editor. This does not help the accuracy as much as you would think.

He is still taking notes.

Even if this is after they have had sex he is taking notes. He is a scholar at heart. He must be incredibly thorough in this regard.

As for the Qijiu side of things.

When Shen Jiu finds out about this he is. Going to. Explode.

Why does everyone think he’s the bottom!??! Why does everyone think his shamelessly whining to be mounted and bred by Yue Qingyuan in increasingly ridiculous ways!!??!! The amount of arm strength some of those positions would require on Qi-Ge’s part would be…

Hm.

Shen Jiu’s reaction is everything to me. Him being initially outraged at this slop someone wrote about him and Qi-ge but doing a double take to actually consider some of the nonsense sex scenes because “oh. that sounds kinda hot actually.” Perfect. Just perfect.

I like to think that Liu Mingyan’s characterization of Shen Jiu as a needy bottom stems from fascination with gap moe (since Shen Qingqiu had long since cultivated a rather intimidating reputation for being cold and cutting, an image that has since taken some hits), fueled by Qijiu’s reconciliation and almost assured excess of PDA (Shen Jiu takes offense to being portrayed as a beast in heat, but he DOES act like a particularly needy cat with Yue Qingyuan in some very public settings. For this, I am picturing Shen Qingqiu foregoing his usual seat at peak lord meetings to claim Yue Qingyuan’s lap as a seat. Predictably Yue Qingyuan lets him. If Yue Qi stops touching Shen Jiu for any length of time, Shen Jiu will die lol)—at least for the era—and a lack of understanding the twisted complexities of Qijiu.

I am a firm believer that 95% of the time, Shen Jiu is topping a very enthusiastic Yue Qi. The other 5% being when Shen Jiu works up the resolve to let Yue Qi take control and let himself be pampered (he’s still the bossiest bottom you’d ever see). And I think we all know that the one shamelessly begging for sex in this relationship is Yue Qi.

But sometimes.

Sometimes it is as simple as thinking his Qi-Ge has nice arms and absolutely refusing to admit that out loud.

It’s not like Yue Qi will ask questions about why Shen Jiu is demanding he tops or the specific positions he is requesting (though he has read it as well and definitely recognizes it but isn’t stupid enough to mention that out loud. His Xiao-Jiu would actually try to kill him for that and not in the fun way they sometimes played. He hides any smile in Shen Jiu’s shoulder and proves that he is in face stronger than the novel suggests he is)

Another reason that Liu Mingyan fell for the bottom Shen Jiu propaganda is very simple. Yue Qi is fucking huge. Like tall and built like a fucking house huge. Man is massive and all muscle. Even after his seal breaks Shen Jiu is lean and elegant and Liu Mingyan is in the yaoi trenches she cannot imagine anything other than Shen Jiu being a needy whiny bottom. That added to Shen Jiu acting like the Sect Leader’s spoiled pet cat whenever he pleases to demand attention (sitting in Yue Qi’s lap in a meeting, trailing his claws over his jaw a bit too hard to make Yue Qi look at him and only him, intentionally pushing his buttons in public until Yue Qi grabs him just so Shen Jiu can smugly call him a brute.) and can anyone blame her for being a little confused.

But behind closed doors Shen Jiu is often than not topping and it is how both of them like it. Qi-Ge has always so loved when he was mean to him and who is She Jiu of deny him that? And on the rare times they do switch things up Yu Qi made it very clear from the very beginning that Shen Jiu would always be in charge. Something that was both incredibly touching and may or may not have ended with Yue Qi sporting a black eye he refused to heal on his own and in fact looked ridiculously smug about.

Shhhddbdbbajajsjdjsj

The Shens are pissed. They can barely stand each other existing in the same realm on a good day for one but for another they were characterized as the ultimate dom and the ultimate sub and neither are coming back from that. Shen Yuan is staring at his hands and asking Binghe is he comes off as a cruel lover. Shen Jiu has broken everything that he can in his home and is moving into Yue Qi’s. The whole possible relation thing never crossed either of their minds.

Binghe and Yue Qi are also pissed but in the if anyone else touches my man I will burn the world down way. They are both so possessive it’s not even funny. They do manage to use this to lay and get laid by their respective Shens though. (This puts back Binghe’s Top Me Agenda by at least a decade he can feel it)

Literally this for Bingyuan and Shen Yuan has every complex under the sun about it because he does in fact think it’s hot but the thought of causing Luo Binghe and distress at all stresses him out so bad he goes on an entire angst spiral so Shen Yuan twists himself around into thinking he can o ly ever bottom because Binghe would never want to anyway.

Binghe disagrees. He would love to bottom. Please fuck him Shen Yuan he needs it so bad. But he also knows how Shen Yuan is and that he needs to take this slow so he doesn’t spook Shen Yuan so it is a process.

Binghe is taking notes though. There are kinks he has and has not even began to dream of.

But it’s a parody of Master and Commander’s opening title

PNG'D! (i didn't know the font so this is taken directly from the image)

the gender ratio for azurill is 75% female whilst for marill it’s only 50%.

I, too, am feral over these two nonnie, so I shall continue cause you asked so nicely <3

So, the PIDW of this universe follows the immortal lord Luo Binghe, Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, Demon Emperor on the side (shhhhh, that part's a secret).

Binghe is (seemingly) righteous and noble, but in truth he's always 1 step away from destroying Cang Qiong Mountain. His thread of hope for humanity is about to snap, which is not at all helped by Xin Mo, who has almost taken his mind over completely.

Enter Shen Yuan, transmigrator extraordinaire, disciple of Qing Jing Peak. The person that's supposed to expose Luo Binghe's demonic heritage to the world and kickstart the conquering of the Human Realm by the Demon Emperor, leading to Shen Yuan's eventually becoming a human stick.

Well, he doesn't want to die like that! Who would! So thigh hugging it is!

Thankfully the System in this world isn't as strict as in canon, so he does have one way of saving himself: if Shen Jiu had become Head Disciple, he would not have wanted to expose Luo Binghe.

He tries his darned best to get close to Luo Binghe, although clumsily. He always ends up walking into things when he's around 'cause he was gawking at him. Which, he reasons, is a perfectly normal thing for a disciple to do! To admire his Shizun! Especially since his Shizun was THE protagonist!

Luo Binghe doesn't know what to think of him at first. Clumsy, starry-eyed, always with his nose in the books like he's trying to memorise all the characters, not just its contents, talented enough, but lacking in experience, perfect recipe for disaster. He needs to keep an eye on him if he doesn't want to deal with a dead disciple.

But. It's strange. No one's ever looked at him like that. He knows his disciples admire him, but all of them are so terrified of him they don't dare to get close, lest they end up doing more chores as punishment. But, this Shen Yuan. It's like. Like he's not scared? Like Luo Binghe is...someone worthy of hero-worship. He can't even admit it to himself, but he cannot help but preen under his clumsy disciple's adoring gaze.

Then, a candle accidentally falls in Shen Yuan's dorm, and there's no room for him left. All his roommates went to their friends' rooms, but Shen Yuan didn't have any close friends on the peak! Where should he go???

Luo Binghe…feels he needs to play the good Shizun. It's just an act, of course. He doesn't actually care for the boy. He needs to play the cool, distant immortal, kind enough to take in a stray. He has Shen Yuan move into his side room, BUT only temporarily.

And so it begins.

Luo Binghe finds himself enjoying having someone to cook for again. He himself doesn't need to eat, so he only really does it when trying to woo a demoness into his bed. But with Shen Yuan, it's different. He hasn't cooked for someone just for them to satiate their hunger since his mother. It almost feels…intimate. Seeing Shen Yuan not eat his food so much as inhale it, hearing the sincere praise from the child's mouth… It's all too much.

It doesn't help that the boy is actually quite shameless. Taking off all his layers except one the moment he's home, even his pants! He is just prancing around with all his skin for the world to see! It makes him want to scold him, to take his layers and dress him back up himself just so he doesn't have the image of those long, long legs of Shen Yuan's stuck in his mind. So he does, “Disciple Shen should be more mindful of his appearance,” he says, desperately trying to ignore Shen Yuan's pretty red face as he stammers 'shizun' while Luo Binghe ties his robes, “Anyone could walk in, it's indecent.” And incredibly distracting, he doesn't say.

Few months pass, Luo Binghe realises one thing: this boy is the only person worthy of respect on his entire peak. If something were to happen to him, he would raze the entire mountain to the ground, himself included.

He tries everything just to touch the boy. He fixes his robes, put his hands on his shoulders, picks him up during nighthunts when things get intense, and if he touches him a little more than necessary while correcting his sword forms, well, no one notices.

For once, something has moved his cold, dead heart and Luo Binghe is a hungry soul, bleeding for more, unwilling to let go of this new tiny light he's found, wishing to devour and devour, till no one else can steal it from him, like everything else good in his miserable, lonely life.

“area woman thanking her lucky stars that batman and superman fell out on the same day she was due to go to boss’ niece’s bat mitzvah”

“arkham guard astonished by trip to iron heights, only now learning what locks are for”

“area man pretty sure he should be making more than $60k a year if his boss has 10 billion dollars to waste on robotic exosuit”

“grown man who dresses in halloween costume every night thinks clown his biggest problem”

“disappointed child realizes Booster Gold at birthday party the real one, not just a guy in a costume”

“Earth totally not a tax haven, say Green Lantern Corps as they assign eighth lantern to same planet”