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we could be two gargoyles sitting on a roof together. do u ever think about that

pliny the elder sailing towards pompeii: oobh i got pliny of time

tough fucking luck losing my cart and my pack of camels in the same 48 hour period i suspect that it may have been ghouls

are you a medieval silk road merchant

sound on, obviously

I'd bet money they were playing this game in the Middle Ages, too.

any knight born after 1200 can’t achieve the holy grail, all they know is feasting, charge their horse, kill, have affair, go mad in the forest & cry

medieval backstreet boys: you are… my friar

the one... dear squire

post-bloodloss clarity

actually forget it this is just medieval medicine

a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

i meant samaritan you jackasses i was typing with one hand bc i was putting on one of the temporary tattoos and it got autocorrected

suck him good n hard thru his platemail

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.