why do we run to the ones we do?

ham and sneeze sandwich

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

I am so sick and tired of having to charge stuff every day of my miserable life!! My phone, my watch, my headphones, my vibrator, my backup vibrator, my emergency vibrator, the ancient cursed amulet of darkness that whispers to me....it's too much!!!

Aww man I'm sorry your situationship ghosted you. I thought you guys had real chemistry. You'll find someone else though. Hey why dont we hit the vintage store later, it's the perfect spot for you to try and pull a rebound. Yeah cuz everyone there is gonna be your age and stuff, and they'll all already be looking to pay a truly horrifying price for some dysfunctional, weird-smelling garbage that is lowkey haunted for real. No? Are you sure? Ok well I kinda need another itchy rayon negligee though so maybe we can raincheck.

It's okay if you're 22 and still sleep with a stuffed animal it's called having the cuddlers spirit and it's actually what gets you into heaven

and what do your bottom scientists say

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.