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My parents have one of those ring cameras. This means, even when they are in New Mexico, dad gets a notification on his phone when someone wanders in front of it. Unlike many people, they have it set up in their yard as a wildlife watching camera, to watch the squirrels and birds and foxes and deer who wander up to the feeding stations and salt block.
This means, when I was up there today after looking after their cats, I got a baffled call from my father.
"honey". He said. "Why are you picking up sticks in the yard. Like go ahead but why."
Mom, in the background, as if this should explain everything; I told you sweetie it's the birch trees.
Dad; ......okay???
Mom; she probably wants them for dye.
Me; birch bark and twigs, dad. For dye.
Dad, sounding no less confused; my god you really just are your mother but younger
Mom, in the background; TEXT ME PHOTOS OF THE RESULTS HONEY
Photos leaked this weekend of Gotham socialite Tim Drake-Wayne kissing an unknown blond in Penguin's Iceberg Lounge. Now, Bruce Wayne has asked press to stop investigating. What could they want to hide? Read more here
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Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.
once again I am on the hunt for glasses for weird little freaks, but this time I've found some cool ones pretty easily! so in case anyone else is looking, I stumbled across some real weird and gay frames at all of these sites:
eyeshells aoolia zeelool lakoh vooglam lens alter
like, eyeshells in particular has a startlingly vast collection of asymmetric glasses:
(this isn't even all of them)
and also this steampunk nonsense that I love so fucking much and cannot justify spending any money on:
while aoolia has...tbh a lot of the frames the other sites have, but more expensive, but also, a collection of the gayest people you've ever seen:
though tbh not nearly as gay as whatever lens alter has going on:
and vooglam has uhhh...whatever this is!
huh.
(I can't vouch for any of these companies ofc, though I think I'll get something from at least one of them. ideally not the slime glasses, but hey!)
but honestly the absolute best thing I found in all of this is this site that makes vintage fashion, and which happened to have:
these replica victorian railway glasses like the bisexual guy in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter had, AND WHICH
you can even buy with prescription lenses, jesus fucking christ you have no idea how hard it is to not immediately drop $180 on this shit, I'm having to physically restrain myself, I want them so fucking bad
and hey, if you don't need prescription lenses, y'know what else you can buy from this site?
the glasses from national treasure 😭😭
anyway, I'm having a gr8 time! and now I know I can definitely find glasses that are weird enough for my very high standards
I posted this originally on Letterboxd, but I want to share with all my mutuals as well
Spoiler Alert!!!!!
I just went back from watching Nolan's Odyssey movie, and I have so many thoughts. Prepare yourselves, this will be a long review.
I will start by saying how I hate the culture war that this film caused. I think I hate both sides of the conversation. I hate the pathetic anti-SWJs and how they made a huge deal of Nolan casting a few non-white actors and a trans actor to play a cis role, as if POC and queer actors never had played roles in Greek mythology films before. But as a Greek mythology fan, I hate how my own camp reacted to this film, being rabid Homer purists and not even giving this film a chance.
It's Christopher Nolan's Odyssey. It's exactly what it says on the tin. He doesn't even try to be historically accurate. Who knew that brutalism would be an architecture style so popular in the Bronze Age Mediterranean? Odysseus travels in a viking ship for goodness sake. This is a guy who has no experience directing period fantasy pieces, so he designed ancient Greece as a generic "the past" with a few fancy costumes. I can't say I'm a fan of this aesthetic, but the film is so much more than that, and I feel like reducing the whole end product to a couple of weird directorial choices is shallow, intellectually dishonest and anti-art.
I can say it right. @the-blue-fairie, @thealmightyemprex, I'm speaking specifically to you because I know you read my reviews and you don't like Nolan's style, this film isn't for you. Everything that you dislike about Nolan's directorial style is present in this film. This doesn't make the film bad, though.
Everything is gray, dark, moody; the film takes itself as seriously as a shipwreck. It doesn't allow a single moment of levity. And it still embraces the fantasy elements.
Contrary to past adaptations, like the Hallmark miniseries or even the Tiktok concept album, it embraces the fantasy elements without embracing the wonder. The magic feels offputting, strange, like a disquieting apparition.
Polyphemus doesn't speak properly, just proffering a few otherworldly and inhuman ramblings after Odysseus and his crew blind him, asking for Poseidon to curse them.
The Lastrygonians aren't rock-throwing giants , but an army of ruthless giants in full metal armor who don't rest until they kill as many of Odysseus' crew as they could find.
Circe isn't a beautiful sorceress in a huge temple filled with nymphs, she's almost an old hag living in an old hut who has to manually twist the bodies of Odysseus' crew to turn them into pigs, in moments of visceral body horror. There's no Hermes here.
The ghosts of Odysseus' fallen men don't just haunt him, they try to physically attack him when they journey to Hades.
There are no Lotus Eaters. Calypso is drugging Odysseus with lotus flowers herself, making him forget almost everything and making him live in a mist of confusion for years. All that to make him forget the horrors he saw.
Telemachus and Penelope share a very tempestuous relationship for a son and mother, with Penelope bitter about being powerless as a woman, constantly arguing with her son, belittling him, while Telemachus is constantly trying to prove he is fully capable of leading Ithaca.
And more, there are no gods here. Only Athena appears, in brief visions Odysseus has, before it's revealed in the end that she's wearing the face of the young priestess that the Greek army killed when they profaned Athena's temple in Troy. It's left ambiguous if she's Athena herself or only a manifestation of Odysseus' guilt for the horrors he took part in. She has tears in her eyes when Odysseus remembers the priestess being killed and Athena's statue beheaded.
Everything is meant to be unpleasant, not fully into horror territory, but extremely upsetting, strange. Maybe other directors could have made it more striking. Nolan has a too down-to-earth style. He films fantasy like he films sci-fi, but the guy is effective at what he wants to portray.
He makes you feel like you are right there inside this world. No matter how anachronistic this Greek world is, it feels like it exists. You won't see any bad CGI or bad special effects. The combination of score, camera angles, and editing choices immerse you completely in this story, as if the adventures and horrors are happening all around you.
And all this lack of wonder has a point, because the film has a central theme: Hospitality and decay.
Hospitality in this world is not just courtesy, it's a sacred law that guides this civilization. You should accept and treat well everyone that reaches your residence, be it a noble or a beggar, because they may be a god in disguise. Yet, people are constantly exploiting or breaking the laws of hospitality, the sacred laws of Zeus: From Antinous and the other suitors abusing Penelope's hospitality for years, from Polyphemus eating Odysseus’ crew, from Circe turning them into pigs when they were almost starving, and lastly, when the Greeks offered the Trojan Horse as a gift of peace to Athena before slaughtering the whole city.
This single act of breaking the laws of hospitality is what dooms this entire world.
This film is set during the Collapse of the Age of Bronze, the period of dark ages between Mycenaean Greece and Classical Greece, a period in which the epic poems were meant as a reminder of all the glory lost in the process.
This is a world in decay, where everything is dying and collapsing.
At all times, there are constantly mentions of the Sea People and how they may attack and destroy their kingdoms at any time. The Sea People are an unknown people who are theorized by some historians to be one of the causes for the Bronze Age collapse. It’s one of the threats that makes the suitors’ situation even more urgent. Ithaca needs someone who can protect it from the Sea People.
And then, almost by the end of the film, it’s revealed: The Sea People are the Greeks who sacked Troy. The memory of what they have done, of how they broke the laws of Zeus spread through the Mediterranean, and that has caused a cascade effect of every rule that governs civilization starting to collapse.
This is the main reason for why Odysseus can’t go back home, he can’t live with what he has done. The whole journey is him dealing with his constant guilt and trying to make things better, but only making them worse as a result. He knows what he has done has consequences, and he’s watching as it spreads to the whole world.
In the end, Odysseus and Penelope exile themselves to a journey into the west, while Telemachus rules Ithaca as king, but even though our main leads are happy, it’s evidently clear that as a whole, this world, all kingdoms visited are doomed. Everything will collapse and the songs about their feats and mistakes will be the only things remembered.
The Trojan War is depicted as both this world's Götterdämmerung, the Twilight of the Gods, and its Original Sin, the primordial crime from which every subsequent horror symbolically descends.
This film has a happy ending, but it doesn’t end on a hopeful note. The final shot of the film is the Trojan Horse ablaze, symbolizing the violation of the laws of hospitality and how that symbolizes the decay that will destroy everything.
We are living in times of economic recessions, environmental catastrophes, and liberal democracies in decay. Despite all the dubious choices Nolan made, the text is incredibly rich. Maybe this is the story for our times.
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There's a different species of barnacle, Sacculina, that parasitizes crabs in a similar way to this. It has a very cursed lifecycle and I assume the crab is also having a weird time.
I just looked it up—it injects itself into the crab's body and replaces the crab's genitals with itself, grows roots into the crab's organs (including its brain), and controls the crab's behaviors so the crab will take care of the Sacculina larvae as a female crab would its own babies—if the crab is male, the Sacculina parasite will make the crab's body produce female hormones to basically change it to female.
This is so cool...how did this even develop? How did the parasite evolve to do that? How ancient would this relationship have to be for something so complex to form?
-slams through your door breathing hard- Batkids in the hospital mortally wounded and B beating himself to hell over his guilt cause those are his babies and maybe all the kids hear is that he regrets taking them in but he means he regrets tainting them
I found it! I present, from my notes app:
(Ignore the weird formatting I do it to prolong hitting the character limit of my notes file.)
Bruce and Dick argue on Watchtower, he storms out. He leans against wall outside to gather his bearings, hears Clark move to comfort Bruce. Bruce confesses sometimes he wishes he never took custody of Dick. Dick+Clark shocked silence, he stumbles out.
Heartbroken and furious at Bruce. Loved him despite everything, and Bruce regrets him. Does his best at Nightwing, to prove he doesn't need Bruce, breaks down crying often. Makes it a week before there's an intervention. They've seen how he's been acting on patrol, know something's up. Bitterly recounts event, shocked.
Other siblings called, converge at Clocktower. Babs pulls security footage, watch end of argument, Dick leave. Bruce collapses into a chair, head in hands. Confesses. Footage paused as siblings riot. Tim presses Clark wouldn't let him get away with that, what does he say. Long pause as Clark absorbs. "Any of them really" he wishes he wasn't any of their father. All frozen.
Clark murderous "Bruce. What the fuck." (Doesn't swear.) Bruce's head snaps up "what— Jesus Christ, not like that!" Insists the kids are the best thing to ever happen to him. Lost now, wait. Clark demands an explanation. Bruce describes how hard he had to fight the courts to get custody of Dick. They didn't want a bachelor, one with as many issues of him, to take care of such a vulnerable child. Maybe they were right. That Dick would've been better off without Bruce.
They all would. Clark tries protesting, Bruce invigorated now. Dick and Jason each got taken off him, if that's not a sign what is. That he has ruined all of their lives, over and over. Whispers that he's apologised to their parents so many times. He's failed them and their children so often, he wishes they lived. That the kids went to someone else who could have actually helped them, not made their lives worse. Clark tries to protest "All of my children have died, Clark" voice breaking. Clark stands, Bruce rests head on his chest, sniffling "if that's not a sign what is."
Clark holds him in a hug. "I thought I could save them. Turns out they needed saving from me." Bruce slips away. Clark tries to protest, Bruce soothes, he's known the truth for years. Walks out wiping at eyes, Clark drops into a seat, curses Bruce's name.
Kids horrified Bruce thinks that. Tim suggests they come up with a plan to confront him, Damian counters it will just sound rehearsed and he'll think it's fake. Cass says she's not waiting, storms out, Steph can't call her back. All distraught.
Dick's comatose on Babs' couch some hours later, Bruce rings him. Whispering, asks if he knows what's up with Cass. Dick puts on speaker, signals Babs. Bruce explains Cass came to his study, sobbing. Made him promise he loves her, will always be her dad. Demands to know who the hell made her think that. Dick quiet, Babs lies they don't know, asks how she is. She cried herself to sleep, she's in his lap. Sighs goodbye. Babs asks if he did, clarifies promise her. Bruce furiously full names her, she hurriedly ends the call.
Siblings meet sans Cass, discuss. Dick confused why Bruce would ever think like this. Jason scoffs he's surprised. Jason at least acknowledges he treats Bruce like shit, Dick is foul-mouthed too. That he's been hearing Dick accuse Bruce of ruining his life since he became Robin. They all do it, and Jason might not have expected him to actually believe them, but is it a surprise?
Alfred appears late in the evening, starts unpacking tupperware and heating up a meal. Says Bruce apologises for whatever he did to upset them. They realise it was family dinner, more guilt. Alfred sets them to eat, then asks what he did. Kids explain, he nods, no reaction. Prodded, labels it long-term idea. Damian bolts out, Alfred sighs. Cass is still clinging to Bruce, now he'll have two. They eat, ask Alfred for advice, he abstains, leaves with tupperware.
Bruce calls a family meeting. Visibly worried, asks what's going on. First Cass, now Damian pleading him to know there's no one else he'd rather be the son of. Asks to know who's hurt them, what happened. Dick "I didn't leave right away on (day)". Bruce goes white. Has to be prompted, promises he's not planning on disowning them. He just wishes, asks for a second to think, calls himself selfish, keeps rambling. That he would give anything for them, knows he was bad, wants the best life for them, knows he's not it. Apologises, leaves.
Kids realise they only verbalise bad thoughts, not good ones about how he saved them over and over.
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