always so very eepy

i love the point in the hero’s journey where he gets bent over and railed until he cries

why must we humiliate the small penis? why not appreciate it? little handful of cock so easy to hold, easiest blowjob of your life, much harder to hit with a nerf dart, much cooler when you trickshot snipe it with a nerf dart from 50 feet, way way cooler than hitting that easy ass 8 inch target, get that cock off the trickshot field we're never gonna get a million views if we're doing wimpy trickshots. check this shit out *throws a shot glass across a basketball court and it lands perfectly on a guys tiny cock* that's a million views right there

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

not my gay ass being doomed by the narrative 😂😂💀

you enter the public restroom. I'm standing by the front sink with my hands folded in front of me and a pile of unconscious (?) guys at my feet. a flushing sound, a stall door opens and a new guy emerges, passing all five pristine ceramic washbowls with their fully loaded soap dispensers on his way to the exit, but just before he reaches the door I grab him by the nape and slam his head into the sink. he joins the comatose Pisshands Platoon on the floor. I return to my position and my eyes meet yours. you must conduct yourself cautiously here.

born to be an abstract concept, forced to be a percievable entity

sad story: i want mozzarella sticks but i do not have mozzarella sticks

it's just me and my twink chained to the radiator against the world

i think its so funny that relationship milestones are only shared and acknowledged when the relationship in question is romantic. like if me and my bestie start dating we gotta tell everybody and their mama but nobody ever wants to hear about how over the course of several months me and my friends from the internet have co-authored beautiful erotica together sometimes beginning as early in the day as 7am EST

*cums* ok finally got that out of the way *wields a cruel blade violently*

something interesting is that you can have a good day but feel weird the whole time so actually it was a weird day

my mind hand touched a hot memory stove

Used to be Italian but now I’m just ian because she took it al in the divorce