bring back the naked chicken chalupa

B R O O K L Y N S U P R E M E

He is just fucking great.

The Great Gatsby

Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?

“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”

There is an imposter in our midst.

and they say xmen aren’t real

quick, tell me the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten. my doctor told me i have impeccable eardrums 

my dentist once told me (in an appreciative tone) that i have huge neanderthal-like canine teeth

oh i AM losing my mind over this 

When I had surgery, the anesthesiologist had me open up my mouth so they could “see what they were working with” when they intubated me and they were like “oh nice, lots of room! [assistant] come look!” And the assistant came to look down my throat and was like “nice” 😂

My wife, when we were first dating, told me I reminded her of a walrus, you know, a really pretty one.

A mortician told me my skintone is so pale I’d be a pain in the ass to embalm

A yoga instructor complimented me on having “stretchy hips” - I’m not overall flexible I just apparently accidentally trained myself to be a master of all hip opening yoga poses by sitting in the weirdest ways possible at home.

My sonographer exclaimed that I have “the cutest little uterus” while giving me an ultrasound.

I once went to a doctor for hip pain, she proceeded to lay me down and stretch my legs all kinds of ways, going “wow you’re so flexible, I guess you’re fine”. I’m hypermobile.

I have excellent veins. “Very juicy,” said the nice totally-not-a-vampire nurse taking my blood for a hormonal panel.

a hairdresser once got legitimately aggrieved with me because my hair follicles are densely packed (as though if she frowned hard enough I’d relent and space them out properly?)

Obstetrician said I had ‘an extremely functional pancreas, even under challenge’ which I guess was a pleasant surprise.

When I got my septum pierced, the guy doing it said I had a perfect septum and perfectly aligned nostrils. “Like you have model nostrils. Like you have the kind of nose I would have loved to have trained on. It’s perfect.” (It was small but it actually kinda made me feel really good about myself?????

A creepy customer at work told me I have nice elbows.  I was taken off guard and replied, “Well, that’s a new one.”  He said, “Shut up you know you have nice elbows!”

In this store, you go in, shop, and then walk out carrying the item’s you want to buy, and their facial recognition software figures out who you are and charges whatever items you are taking to your account. It’s incredible and creepy.

the cyberpunk dystopia is upon us and it fuckin sucks

THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT

describe your aesthetic in four words go

homeade bong im 11