Excelsior

glowing hot metal is such a touchable shade of orange

im a welder and this let me tell you this does not go away if youre around a lot of hot metal its actually worse

no language should be mocked other than french

ITS PRONOUNCED “WAZO” AND YES, I WILL DIE MAD ABOUT IT

oiseaux hits every vowel in the french alphabet and manages to only be pronounced with 2 goddamn syllables

got vowels coming out the oiseaux

world heritage post

A group of female and non-binary adventurers go around exploiting poorly worded curses/prophecies/enchantments proclaiming that “no man” shall do this or that thing.

Medusa befriends a blind princess after she accidentally wanders into her cave. Unfortunately for the princess’ suitors, Medusa has now developed a crush and doesn’t take well to competition.

You’re the town’s superhero. Your greatest enemy is the town’s supervillian. However, secretly, your both brothers. This isn’t anything tragic, as your whole destructive rivalry is actually just a massive prank on your third brother, the mayor.

idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little

Alternatively: it's not killing the mood at all but it's totally making both of them giggle like they're twelve and possibly get lowkey competitive in a subconscious way about who has the most to drop.

...Oh

It’s not that there’s already a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the sink that makes it awkward so much as that there’s so many weapons hidden underneath the sink that they fall out of the cabinet with the unmistakable sound of a knife-alanche, and then the other person comes in like “I can explain!” and you’re just dead-ass standing there with your own armload of weapons like “I can also explain.”

You see them fight later and one of them pulls out a pistol that the other one had earlier. 

Oh shit I gotta use that one

They keep running around the house trying to find a place to stash weapons, but every one is full.

[Dad: How’m I doing on your hair? Child: Good! Dad: Let’s see, do I need more grease? Child: Yes. You need more grease on there. Dad: More grease? And then what? Child: And then you gonna need to brush it, and then you put a band on there. Dad: A band on it? Child: Yeah! Dad: Aww.. Child: You’re getting it through! You’re almost done! You’re doing a good job! Dad: Aww, thank you, sweetheart, so much! Daddy’s trying, doing the best I can. Thank you so much. Child: You’re welcome! Dad: I’m almost done! Child: You been doing great! Dad: Aw baby, thank you so much, you’re so encouraging to Dad. Thank you. Child: You’re welcome. Dad: I really appreciate you so much. You’re so awesome. Daddy getting your ponytails ready for school.]

Interrupting all the political ugliness to make you melt with cute.

Me as a father

this is so pure

These people are aware that they’re, like, too powerful, right?

new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs

Someone being patient with you is one of the softest forms of love