Bed Bread Goblin

Pictures before the final product, for once!

It’s been fun and learning to work on my project (Trannequin), getting to talk with different people and hear their different voices and stories!

I’m looking forward to the day when I can share the whole thing with everyone, even tho I wish to never be done! (Will just have to make multiple editions if people still want to do it after the first one!)

You are capable of harm

You have some level of power and agency

Ergo it is your responsibility to communicate your needs and boundaries

If you lie to someone about something being okay when it isn't, that is on you

Something being a trauma response doesn't exempt it from harming your relationships and the other people in them

Enabling your trauma responses will not make them go away, and it is your responsibility to work on yourself for your own wellbeing as well as the people around you

Being A Victim cannot be a pillar of your identity forever, and being victimized does not make you incapable of harming other people (see above)

You are not a mouse in a jean jacket you are an eel with a gun / adult human being who can use your words even if it's Scary

If you define yourself by your suffering you are perpetuating your own suffering because you cannot let it/you end

You have to define yourself by something other than your suffering and be walking forward with the idea that the suffering either has an end date or can be improved

If your whole identity depends on you suffering by ending your suffering you are ending your sense of self

Get a hobby (genuine)

Learn a skill

Find a passion

It has become a nightly routine now that whenever I go into the bathroom to get ready for bed, my boy MUST be carried around to inspect the ceiling on my head or on my shoulders, and MUST attempt to sit on the shower curtain rod, rub his cheeks on the shower head, and climb on top of the door.

Normally I keep the door steady and he waits for me to prepare a safe landing before getting on the door.

TODAY my darling son decided that he was perfectly capable of sitting on the door WITHOUT ME, and predictably lost his balance almost immediately as the hinge swivelled. Who could have predicted this

Watching my son begin to slip, I mode under him, and was thankfully able to catch him with my hands over my head

After realizing he is in fact still but a mere mortal, my precious little boy decided that he was done being Up and would very much like to be Down now

Normally this would be a great time for him to scamper down to sit on my shoulder, from where it would not be difficult to jump onto the counter

I saw him decide to do this with just enough time to know that he would fail, as my shoulder would not be there with my hands above my head

I could not lower him, as he still had one back leg on the wrong side of the door, and forcing the movement before he was ready might very well overextend a ligament

In the sort of split second moment with which a dying man sees his life flash before his eyes, I ran through every calculation my mind could conjure

There was, I accepted, only one acceptable solution which assured minimal harm to both parties involved

I let him springboard off of my face

He landed unharmed

After affirming that he was okay, I inspected myself and found a single small but surprisingly deep scratch along the side of my head

[this will scar. I have many scars already. I’ve already decided that this one will be my favourite.]

Once calm, Ollie then begged me to turn on the shower for him

I figured I had to clean the cut anyways. Why the hell not

I let my lovely little. Ollie sit on my shoulder in the shower like an asinine black parrot and watched him go apeshit

Perhaps TOO apeshit

Unfortunately I did eventually have to put him down in his tub chair so I could actually get clean

He sat there soaking wet with his big wide baby eyes and cried to be let back in

I gave up after a minute, rinsed off the soap, and brought him back in to continue swatting at the spray

After, he refused to let me help dry him off, crying pitifully whenever I touched him with my towel

We are both soaking wet

He is licking his toes dry by my bed

I love my big weird baby