no gods, no kings, no tyrants

sorry boss can't come in today i was on my way to work and then a gentle spring breeze kissed my cheek and reminded me it is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world

Cats understand "naughty". In fact I think they're the only animal who understands it. Dogs know "good" and "bad" but not Naughty. Same with theft. Cats know what theft is. They know when they are thieving and you can see it on their faces. Squirrels are thieves but they don't know that. They know "take" and "have" but they don't comprehend what it is to steal. Nor do raccoons or coyotes or any species of rodent. They may participate in theft but they are ignorant of the weight of what they do, the full meaning of it. Cats know what crime is and they do it on purpose.

Imagine a bee rn in a hive muttering "the beekeeper is not real because he is not intervening or helping me at all with this disastrous relationship I have with another bee". now imagine that's you talking about the good lord. now imagine a dog with a propeller hat on

is anyone imagining a dog with a propeller hat on

I'm still thinking about the bees man

WE are going offshore fishing

i have a suggestion

ID: tags that say "complete with product placement ads." /end ID

so funny how the older u get ur like how the fuck on gods green earth did people used to manage all th- ahhh.. i need one of these wives everybody keeps talking about..

"how was X so successful and productive and achieving?" wife feeding and clothing and cleaning and shopping and parenting for them and also probably booking appointments and personal receptionist work. AND stimulant abuse. and shes supposed to suck you off whenever. id kill him too #feminists

is there a name for the thing where people find out that a cute animal is still an animal that kills and fucks and does things that would be bad for humans to do to eachother so they start going "did you know DUCKS are EVIL?? did you know DOLPHINS will NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF GOD?? did you know your CAT is MORALLY BANKRUPT??"

I propose "misanthropomorphism".

its awesome that neither mind reading nor god are real and all of the thoughts inside of your head are completely private and consequenceless forever #myprivacy

saw a post about this earlier but it made me think: tumblr really is the only social media site where I go on and have a good time and then carry on with my day. I know it's completely curated because there are some awful people here but that (the curation) in itself is a privilege of the site. Every other social media site is designed to make you angry for more engagement

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

What would you do if you were scrolling through recommended tumblr posts and one was from someone you don't know and it was just a picture of your dad captioned "fucking hate this guy" and it had hundreds of notes

reblog it