be old, be goth, eat rodents

life is just one ibuprofen after the other

the next ibuprofen will fix me

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

never watch the sodium intake!!!!! soup and chips forever!!!!

I see a child run out in front of this car and I throw a black lace shawl over their shoulders, saving their life

holy shit have you evver tried this new substance called album in order

*remembering being a straight guy is about alcohol consumption and masculine camaraderie* you're like the sprig of mint in my julep bro

If you can roll up a coin you deserve to snort coke imo

moment of unspeakable beauty today when one of my coworkers called another coworker "judas" for not splitting a can of white monster with her, and i got to watch the guy who sits next to me open a new google tab, type in "jeudis," and say quietly to himself "french thursday...?"

a car you used to drive can also be a kind of dead wife