and yet... your balls

oversharing online is so important cus like what if someone needed to know that

this long distance shit is so lame I want my fucking girlfriend hmph :[

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

*rusty at making horny posts*: when she puts her small to large thing in you

i could be your deadbeat tumblr mutual

post like nobody's watching, reblog like you've never been blocked; dm like no one is offline, and rpf like they actually fucked

wish everyone could perceive the Vague Concepts in my head because i just know you would looove my Vague Concepts. you would think im so smart if you saw the misty clouds of Vague Concepts floating around in my head. #MyVagueConcepts

I will create the world's first ontologically evil baseball team

Yankees beat you to it by like 113 years

‘project hail mary is about the power of friendship’ ‘project hail mary is about hope’ ‘project hail mary is about accidentally becoming too important at work’ wrong wrong wrong you’re all wrong. project hail mary is about what it would take for a single man in his 30s to own a fully paid off beachfront property in today’s economy

Women covered in blood. Reblog if you agree.

“you attract what u fear” ooooh lesbian vampires i’m sooo scared!