Temporarily Untitled

You mean like how people read books at libraries, and end up buying them if they like them?

“That’s not the same 😡”

Just saw this in my notes and thought I'd reply. You can't get into libraries if you only use Amazon, but platforms like Draft2Digital, Ingram and Kobo Writing Life make it possible for self-pub authors to have their work made available to libraries across the global network.

You're sometimes more likely to get picked up by libraries if you list yourself as having a publisher, but as a self-pub author you can do that by registering as an LLC (which for me was $250 back in 2020, I don't know what it is now) and then listing the name you used as the publisher. But even that's becoming an unnecessary step with how prominent self-pub has become.

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

…relic…

Because that makes sense. Anyway, this poison would submit me to its well-known and much-feared symptom: "17 Day Paralysis" in which you're paralyzed for exactly 17 days and you only chance of survival is to be on full machine support for 17 days.

Just before the medical team intubated me I remembered I have a Zoom meeting with my academic advisor today (I actually do in real life) and I needed to email him to let him know I was the victim of a mass-poisoning and would need to reschedule.

I kept trying to type the "□" symbol in my dream but could not figure out how and gave up.

the upgraded xenonite suit was invented shortly after

If you are going to buy pride merch, consider going to that web shop you have bookmarked that you've been meaning to shop at but never got around to it.

"Will they ship it in time?"

it does not matter

look into my beautiful blue gray eyes and notice the way the subtle wrinkles accent my middle age and listen to my gentle, wispy voice when I tell you

it doesn't matter when it arrives

your support of somewhere between pocket change for a sticker to the equivalent of lunch at a restaurant that you spend in an independently owned shop is the line between:

them closing

them celebrating in a tiny way

them surviving

them doing well

them thriving

them building queer spaces in the economy

this is not a guilt post

this is not a "you should spend money--"

from the title of the post

"...money you were going to spend anyway..."

Your choosing a small business and saying "hey this may not arrive in time quickly" is a significant portion of supporting that business, becuase they do not have Big Box Retail mechanics

Your choosing a small business and saying "costs a more but is still comfortably affordable" similarly so

I am a cold hearted business person whose love for money is only secondary for my love of happy, thriving people in an enriched environment that serves and protects the entire population always in every form and structure

(which is honestly the source of my love for money, because it directly leads to people happy and thriving, protected and supported)

(if i could waggle my fingers and live in Star Trek I would but I cannot)

(I tried it) (it didn't work)

so the economic incentive

to this post is quite simple:

happy, thriving people doing business is good for the world

If you want to show your support and/or identity

and planned on doing that with a bauble sticker shirt pin keychain art print whatever

the queer shop you have bookmarked in your computer is a great place to look

If you want to read about your support and/or identity

the local bookstore in the queer neighborhood of your community is a great place to go browse

and/or the library, leave us never forget that these are for some fucking bullshit reason under attack, too, okay sticking to the point lest I start coughing up blood and/or throwing bricks

If you want to see your support and/or identity

the local theater in your community that shows queer films is a great place to start

etc. etc. etc. etc.

Paying a a few cents or dollars more at a store that directly aligns with the values you have in your heart for something you were going to purchase anyway -- listen to me -- is a direct action support to keeping their lights on in hard times and allowing them to grow from "survival mode" to "thriving mode" in good times

i know that it sounds simple

maybe even too simple

and it's literally this straight forward

"I can't because--"

solid

i'm not here to guilt or request or demand justification

from anywhere about anything

live your life

this is a discussion point me @ me me @ you

"Big box ships faster. Do I need it faster? Big box offers free shipping, and is cheaper. Can I spare the extra few bucks?"

sometimes yes

sometimes no

thems the breaks to being alive

I say this as someone who loves money (see above qualifying statment) and whom loves Doing Business (my current job is extracting cash from rich people for queer art, great gig, highly recommended)

at least 1/2 Doing Business is "I am here, right now, with the thing you're looking for, with agreeable terms."

literally that direct and forward

WHEN you can bend what you consider agreeable terms to the realities of small business -- slower shipping, a drift towards higher prices, they have to special order it rather than it be in stock etc. --

you are directly creating a change in the world towards the shifts you want to see

this is the "doing your own dishes, folding the towels everyone uses in the house laundry" version of buying things btw

"okay again I can't because--"

:)

it doesn't matter

there is no permission slip needed to sign

you're not in trouble

there is not a list I'm going to check your reasons against

there is not a reason to have a reason

this is exclusively meant to seed the thought of "when I can, I will"

it doesn't sound like much

it is being intentional

You are posted out by the Hollywood sign tonight, sitting under the frame where the W used to be. It got burnt to a crisp during last week’s big superhero fight. A hero died right where you’re sitting. The whole area’s been closed down until Hero Force can coordinate a recovery effort. Usually it’d be done by now but no one’s willing to touch it until the ash has been completely blown away.

It’s a rule that the world must stand still when a hero dies.

“How much?”

The voice comes from behind you. The lights that illuminate the Hollywood sign are down to hide as much of the scorch marks as possible. You wouldn’t be able to see anything even if you did turn around, so you don’t.

You put some chapstick on, the glide of the balm against your wind chapped lips grounding.

“I said,” the Hero says, voice tightening, “How. Much.”

There’s the sound of gravel crunching now. They’re wearing heavy boots and the scent of fresh blood grows stronger the closer they get. Their breathing is smooth and even which means it’s not their blood.

You put the cap back on your chapstick and tuck it into your leather jacket’s inner pocket. “I don’t take money.”

“Then what do you take?” The Hero rounds the Y and comes into your line of sight. The dark hides most of their features, but you can make out a glittering gold mask and the dull shine of drying blood on their chest plate. Their breathing may be even, but their stance isn’t. They sway in place, back and forth, back and forth. Their arms wrap around their stomach. “I’ve got land. A house. You can have it.”