Just call me Catheline

Every time after Steve came back from his morning run with sam and bucky, the two of you would have a training session in the compound gym. after you got ready for it, you went to the kitchen finding him having breakfast with the boys.

when you enter the room, bucky looks at you and smiles but quickly looks away to not create any suspicion. 

you’ve been in a secret relationship with bucky for about 5 months now, it’s not that you didn’t want to be seen with him, it’s just that you two were afraid of what the other avengers may think, so together you decided to stay in secret.

after you left the kitchen with steve your phone vibrates in your left pocket, when you pick up you see bucky’s message.

b: new sporting bra?

you respond with a question mark and puts your phone in your pocket again.

later, when the training was already over you pick your phone again to check for any messages.

b: it’s just that i don’t remember taking this one out of you 

your giggle is noticed by steve who was by your side in the hall.

“you good?” the blonde one asks in a soft tone “yeah, just talking to Shuri” you lied. 

you answer buck’s message and enter the elevator to the kitchen. when you got there, sam was with bucky’s phone in his hand while bucky looked really mad.

“what’s going on?” steve asked looking at his two best friends.

“snowman here has a girlfriend” sam comes close to steve and handles the locked phone with a notification showing up on the screen.

doll

if you want, you can take it off later

“who the hell is doll?” the captain question and your whole body shivers.

“it’s no one, okay? now can i get my phone back?” steve was going to handle the phone back to bucky but sam quickly grab it back.

“if she is no one… why are you so nervous?” a smirk lays on sam’s face, he is having a lot of fun with the situation “what you think y/n? should we call her?” if there was one thing that made sam happy was pissing off bucky.

“sam… I’m not kidding, give me my phone back” bucky’s stands up looking directly to sam’s eyes.

“what’s going on?” Natasha appears behind you, whispering in your ear.

“sam is with bucky’s phone and he saw a message from a girl” you whisper back, trying to look indifferent but on the inside, you were panicking.

“so Barnes has a girlfriend” the redhead comments, but this time for everyone.

sam notice how stressed bucky was with the situation so he gave him the phone back but this time Natasha was the one who grabs it.

"so… let’s see… it’s Jeniffer from statistics? or is it Peter’s english tutor?” nat was texting something on the phone while talking and after she sends it, she handles the phone back to bucky.

“What did you send?” this time steve is the one who questioned.

before Natasha could respond your phone rang and it didn’t take much for everybody to connect the dots.

“wait” sam was processing “you and y/n?” he asked bucky

Steve was shocked, he knew that the two of you were closed but no that close.

“well, I already knew. for a super soldier and highly trained assassin bucky has heavy footsteps” 

you and bucky were frozen, looking at each other’s eyes and afraid that that good thing that you two had was about to end it.

but the two of you relaxed when steve hugged bucky, without any hesitation and a smiley face

“I’m so happy for you man, is good to see you happy” a smile appeared on your face when you saw everybody smiling.

you and bucky could finally be together without any worry. 

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-outside 20 minutes earlier-

"This is stupid Sam," Bucky spoke blatantly to his friend.

"We need her man, we've always been a trio. We can't just be a couple of dudes. All groups of people need a bad ass friend. Now hurry it up."

"We're enough as we are. We are leaving Sam." Bucky glared at Sam intensely.

"You've done enough avoiding and running, it's time to grow up," Sam spoke in confidence.

Bucky clenched his jaw and stormed towards Sam. "You don't get to say that to me. She's the one who ran from me. We needed her and she ran."

Bucky's growl turned into a soft whisper.

"She ran..." he breathed out.

Sam stood his ground although holding back tears. He remembered the day you left, he remembered the tears pouring from your eyes and the way you held them both.

~

"Boys, I'm leaving... you breathed out. There you stood in front of them with some bags behind you.

Their eyes went wide, and their hearts dropped.

"What do you mean? Where are you going doll?" Bucky stood up quickly to stand before you. Tears rushed to your eyes and your lip trembled.

"I can't be here anymore. It's too hard, I just -I can't- I feel like I'm drowning..." you trailed off. Sam rose from his seat and walked over to stand next to Bucky.

"(Y/n), you can't go. Doll, you can't please." Bucky pleaded, reaching to grab your shaking hands. "We need you here, it'll be ok I promise," Sam said and placed a hand on your shoulder.

You let go of Bucky's hands and wrapped them around his waist. You held each other as close as possible.

"I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. Until the day I die." You cried to him. Lifting your head you bring your hands up to hold his face. He meets into your touch. You bring his face to yourself and place a kiss on his lips. You hold onto him for as long as possible. Trying to show your love. He does the same, trying not to let go of you.

You pulled away and tears rested on his cheeks as well. "I'm sorry James but I have to go." You placed a kiss on his cheek and finally turned to Sam.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. I just can't do it. I'm so sorry... please. Please take care of him." You tried to cover your mouth but you let out a sob. He pulled you into a tight hug, you held on tighter. I love you too Sam ok. Don't forget that." You took steps back.

Once again you ran to Bucky holding him tighter than before, kissing his tears away. "I love you, James, I always will. You're my forever."

"You're my best girl... I love you, please don't go." You shook your head sadly.

"I love you Bucky. I love you both. Take care of each other."

You walked out the door and Bucky watched from the doorway ready to run after you.

~

That was the last time they saw you.

Now here they are, outside your small little house away from any city.

Bucky was scared to see you. He didn't want to be there at all. He didn't understand why they needed you, but here they are.

Before Bucky could speak he heard someone start to speak from within the small house. With his enhanced hearing he could hear your voice.

He turned to look at the door and began to slowly walk towards Sam on his tail. Confusion etched onto his skin, wondering what Bucky was doing.

"Man, what are you doing?" Sam whisper shouted. Bucky shot him a glare and put a finger to his lips. Sam then heard you speak as well.

"After everything, I ran. After Nat, after Tony." You took a shaky breath "After Steve... my body shut down. It felt like my soul became so heavy it pulled me so far under the water. Far enough for me to give up and let the pressure of the water shatter my remaining fragility."

His heart hammered in his chest at her words. Sam's eyes were narrowed as he tried to concentrate on what you were saying. Both of their hearts ached at the memory from your perspective.

Then all of a sudden they hear what could only be a chair screech across the floor, and a shattering sound. They both jumped and Bucky had to hold himself back. Sam was about to say something when they heard another smash and shouting.

"He was there! Why weren't you there for him! You fucking coward!" They heard you yell and let out a cry.

They both sat there dumbfounded at your outburst. They had no idea the guilt you felt. It hurt them to hear you like this. You were so broken.

After a few moments, the sobs stopped and they heard shuffling.

They waited a few moments before knocking on the door. Bucky's hands shook and Dam shifted his weight from one foot to another.

They hear a floorboard squeak under your weight and prepare themselves. You pulled the door open only slightly. The people you saw made your eyes go wide and a gasp fall from your chapped lips. Your cheeks were rosy from wiping tears.

Sam gave you a friendly smile and you slammed the door shut. You had no words.

So they spoke up.

"(Y/n), please open up.. we need to see you. We need to make sure you're ok. We heard smashing and yelling. Please let us in." Sam called out to you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying with everything in you to lock the door and walk away instead of rushing out to see them. You were horrified by them, you were so scared of seeing them.

You once again said nothing and tried to quietly move away from the door and into your bathroom. Still keeping in mind the glass sticking from your skin. You were halfway across the room when you heard the voice that made you shake and cause new tears to collect.

"(Y/n), come on. Open up, please. Please..." you could hear the sadness in his voice. It broke your heart to hear his voice after so long.

Tears slipped down your cheeks once again. Before you could realize what was going on, words passed your lips.

"I can't." Your voice was hoarse from crying and yelling. From outside they heard your strained voice, and the fear it held. Sam cringed and Bucky looked away trying to blink away tears. He never thought he would hear your voice again. He was hurt but he didn't realize the guilt you felt.

Sam didn't know how much you felt.

"Are you hurt?" Sam called out again.

You had to decide whether or not you wanted to give in or hideaway. You had taken care of worse wounds but after so long of being alone you felt the need to see those familiar faces.

"You don't have to be scared doll. It's us... please..." Bucky spoke up.

The use of his name for you made your heart stop for a moment.

"I don't deserve to see you... I hurt you and I don't deserve for you to care about me." You cried out to them.

They look at each other with sadness.

You began to breathe heavily as quiet sobs once again invaded the space around you.

Before you knew it you were on the ground again. You didn't even acknowledge the pain you felt from the glass.

Bucky couldn't take anymore and he opened your front door and looked around. Sam followed and they saw all the glass shattered on the floor. Whiskey from the bottle and water from the vase. Blood mixed in with the whiskey and flowers strewn from the vase. Further, into the house they saw you crumpled on the floor. Glass littered your skin and blood dripped from your arm and leg. They hear your sobbing and cautiously approach you.

Sam stays back a bit as Bucky comes to kneel in front of your shaking figure.

"Doll." You heard Bucky's voice right in front of you. Your head snapped up with wide, teary eyes.

"What are you doing here, you shouldn't be in here Bucky you need to go." You tried to scramble backward. He reached out for you, gently grasping your un-injured wrist. At the feeling, you cringed and just looked up at him with a pleading stare.

"I don't deserve you James please..." you pleaded with him. "Let me take care of you (y/n)." He stated firmly but with those kind eyes, you always loved. You began to let some tension go. You looked up at Sam behind him with a nervous gaze. He smiled gently at you.

"Hey (y/n)." He said carefully. You nodded sadly at him. "Hi Sam..." you said softly.

Bucky lifted his hand and gripped your chin with his fingers and turned your face towards him. The cool metal was soothing to your hot skin. You sighed at his touch.

"I'm so sorry James, I'm so sorry..." you said.

"Everything's OK (y/n), let's get you cleaned up ok." He told you soothingly. You nodded and moved to stand up. Bucky quickly gripped you tightly and helped you up. Picking you up he tried to be mindful of the shards of glass in your soft skin.

You tried to hold back a whimper as you held onto him.

"Where’s your bathroom?" Bucky asked. "It's down the hall first door on the right." You answered.

"Sam, would you mind cleaning this up for her?" Bucky asked kindly. "No, Sam. No, you don't have to. I can do it afterward." You protested.

Sam gave Bucky a nod "of course." He said. Before you could say anything Bucky was walking down the hallway.

He stepped into the bathroom and you turned the light on.

"Will you be ok to sit on the counter?" He asked gently. You nodded at him.

He set you down on the cold marble countertop and it made you shiver. He then began his search and quickly found the first-aid kit.

He closed the door and looked at you. "This is going to sting a bit ok." He said and began to gently pull the glass from your skin. "You really don't have to do this." You said and reached to grab his hand.

"I want to. You always patched me up, now let me help you." He reassured you.

The silence wasn't overbearing and thick. It was soft and comfortable. Just like it used to be.

"Bucky I'm-" you didn't get to finish.

"(Y/n), no more of this. I've missed you." Bucky said while cleaning your small wounds. His hands worked quickly but gently as he took out each piece of glass.

You looked at him with surprise.

"You've missed me? How could you after what I've done?" You asked quietly with your gaze on the ground, wincing every now and again.

He finishes up and puts everything away before turning to look at you.

"Because you're still my best girl." He told you with sincerity. Your heart melted.

"I'm so sorry I left you... I left you when we needed each other the most. I love you, I'm so sorry." Your voice trembled as you reached out to take his hands. You missed the feeling of his hands in yours. You miss the feeling of the cool metal and warm flesh intertwining with yours. He stepped between your legs and looked down at you.

"I love you too... we'll work everything out I promise. Just please don't leave me again." He pleaded gently. You looked into his beautiful stormy eyes and saw tears threatening to fall.

"I promise you. I promise I won't ever leave again." You whispered as you let go of his hands to move them up his chest and around his neck. You had only then realized he had cut his hair. Those long soft locks were gone. You smiled at how nice he looked. He looked like he was starting to heal, and it was beautiful. He was beautiful.

You tug him closer and pull his head down so you can close the gap between you. Your lips were so close but you gave him time to pull away if he didn't want it.

He just reached forward and pressed his lips to yours.

It felt like home, his lips moving along with yours. So much love was put into it, his hands cupped your cheeks as yours gently clawed at the nape of his neck.

He pulled away and when he opened his eyes he saw that yours were still closed and a look of pure content rested on your features.

"Open those eyes doll, I wanna see them." He whispered and kissed your nose. Your eyes fluttered open, and he could see the sparkle in them. He saw how brilliantly they shined.

"There she is... my beautiful girl." He mumbled before pressing his lips to yours one last time.

Tears shined in your eyes. You could feel the love between you two and it made you feel as though everything was mending.

"You forgive me, James?" You asked quietly. "I forgive you (y/n). I love you."

--

When you walked back down the hall you saw the place cleaned up, and Sam sitting on your couch with his phone in hand.

"Hey, Sam." You spoke up. He quickly looked back at you. "(Y/n)." He got up and pulled you into a hug. You winced but hugged back nonetheless missing your best friend.

"I missed you so much. I'm sorry for everything." You spoke into his shoulder.

"It's ok now, we're okay." He reassured you.

Bucky came up behind you after you pulled away from Sam. He wrapped his arms around your waist gently. Sam smiled.

"Now, (y/n), we need you," Sam spoke up. You looked at him in curiosity, ready to listen.

He told you all about this new group of Super Soldiers called the Flag Smashers. They told you all about John Walker, the new Captain America. He mentioned that and you cringed at the thought. It made your grip onto Bucky's arm tightly in anger. He just held you closer. They told you all about their plan and revealed to you that they had an idea. They needed to go talk to 'him'. Zemo.

You were downright pissed about it, but you wanted to help the boys in any way you could. After everything, you owed them the world and this is just a start at making it up to them.

"Alright boys, let's go talk to Zemo." You sighed before going to grab your things.

-

You stood in your room gathering a bag of your things. Bucky helped you and every once in a while he would pass by and kiss your head.

He was just about to pass you to put something away when you grabbed his metal hand and pulled him closer. He smiled down at you. Lifting his hand you pressed a kiss to it and gently rested it against your waist. You looked at him with a smile and he knew exactly what you wanted. He moved his hand from your waist to the hem of your shirt gently letting his cool fingers travel up and around your waist pulling you into his chest.

You loved to feel the cool metal against your warm skin. He came to find out it was a comfort to you. He did it whenever you were alone. It was just the way he held you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips letting his thumb rub circles onto the skin over your ribcage.

At that moment things were delicate, they were mending. You were both mending.

-----