🍒 n/a 🍒

All i need now is a xbox and snier rifle

Anyone: Hey (asks about a special interest of mine)? Me: Becomes an unskippable cutscene

we should be able to crossbreed birds like dogs. in my heart i believe that the only reason you can't cross a peacock with a pigeon is because it would create an animal too beautiful for mere mortal eyes.

crossbreeding an ostritch with a cassowary to make the world's most fucked up and dangerous beast

you guys should really try talking to older people sometimes. like anyone over the age of forty. it would cure you i swear

family doesn't count. go to a local lutheran churches coffee hour and chat with the old ladies.

“…use things to have good days.”

the loading screen trying to convince me to use even one of my 3000 consumables

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think

But what about how she says “mrrrow” just as she starts her lil trot?

won't beef with people younger than me because that's embarrassing for me. won't beef with people older than me because that's embarrassing for them. won't beef with people my age because i know we both have better shit to be doing. peace and lovr on planet earth

you can just call them swifties

well if you've hit em with bugspray it prolly doesn't matter