We're All a Little Mad

“Yes, many have and while I do not like to involve myself in such things unnecessarily, once the internet became more common it was easy enough to use to get the ball rolling.”

“Ah, were you involved in that, too?” he tilts his head consideringly, “Being the goddess of wisdom and all.”

The woman shakes her head, her curly grey hair swaying against her cheeks. Tucking a lock behind her ear, she explains, “While I was not directly involved, it’s reasonable to think so. Other gods of wisdom and invention were the first to trigger the process, but all of us with such things as our domain become involved in such monumental developments, even if indirectly.”

“Like an inherent collaboration thing?”

Athena squints at him over her frappuccino. “…I suppose you could think of it that way. All things are intrinsically connected, after all, and gods are not free from this principle. While I am a completely separate entity from, say, my dear Saraswati or Benzaiten, I have a deeper connection with them than I do others from their pantheons. We are not interchangeable, but it’s easy enough to help and cover for each other when needed.”

“Wow, neat,” Tim comments, “I wish I could have copies of myself to help out, like, all the time.”

She rolls her eyes, “That is because of your tendency to overwork yourself unnecessarily.”

Tim glowers, but she just looks down to the table at the three empty mugs left at the edge of the table. Two had been cleared earlier and one, mostly empty, was in his hands.

“…I just like coffee.”

“Uh-huh.”

“…”

Athena raises an eyebrow.

“Okay fine maybe I work a bit too much. But all of us are busy these days.”

“An interesting thing about wisdom is that there are many facets to it. It is wise to know your skills and how to utilize your abilities to benefit yourself and others. However, it is equally as wise to know when it is time to do nothing.” The goddess leans back in her seat, crossing her legs, “While I greatly admire your intelligence, strategic mind, and more… I find your wisdom often lacking.”

Resting a hand over his heart, Tim gasps, “Rude?!”

Rolling her eyes again, Athena picks up her frappuccino and loudly slurps the last of it through the bright pink straw.

Tim pouts.

“Anyway,” she sets the empty cup aside, licking her lips, “I should get going. I have a feeling that-“

The doors of the coffee shop burst open.

“Hey, ’Thena! Are you here?”

“-something annoying is about to happen.” She finishes, her deadpan expression only mostly obscuring her contempt.

The tall man in the doorway is dressed rather typically for an Olympian, unlike Athena’s casual jacket and jeans. His broad frame, dark skin, and stark white hair only making him more intimidating in the eyes of the regular customers. However, like true Gothamites, they just go on edge instead of panicking immediately.

Looking around, the man quickly spots the two of them and strides over.

Glancing between the two gods, Tim quickly concludes.

“Ares?” he mutters to Athena, and she grimaces. Ah.

The god slams his hand on the table, thankfully not causing any damage, “My dear sister, did you think I would stand still after realizing your trickery?”

Athena looks at him blandly, “To be honest, dear brother, I don’t expect much of anything from you. Ever.”

“Ha! Well, then I shan’t bother considering it. I will, however, gladly take my revenge for you running off and meeting with Timothy first.” Ares snaps out, and Tim feels his heart drop in sudden anxiety when the man turns and looks straight at him.

“Ah- I-ACK!!”

Tim is grabbed and hefted over a bulky shoulder so quickly that his head spins.

“I will be on my way, now,” Ares chuckles and turns around. Tim is disorientated but he manages to look up and he sees Athena grumbling while waving over their waitress.

These gods are all so rude.

__

After a few minutes of his stomach against the unforgiving surface of Ares’ shoulder, Tim’s had enough. As the god leaps up to the next highest roof, Tim grunts out in pain at another punch to the stomach. He stabs his elbow into the nearest weak points he can reach, “Ugh! Put me down!!” He doesn’t do much damage, but he doesn’t expect to. He just- “Augh!”

Ares lands on the roof and adjusts his hold, flipping Tim and sliding him down until his back rests against the crook of his left arm. Tim is left disorientated once more, his right hand on that troublesome shoulder and his left atop the large hand by his hip.

“Terribly sorry for the bumpy ride, dearest Tim.” Ares apologizes and leans over him, his large form nearly covering him completely. “Are you alright?”

“Ugh,” Tim opens one eye to glare at him, “Do I look alright to you?”

The god leans even closer and presses his lips to Tim’s temple, “Do accept my apologies, dear. I wished to remove you from there sooner rather than later.”

Tim stares at him once he pulls back, suddenly wondering if he’s going to have to fend off more advances. He then registers their position and startles, pushing on the god’s shoulder. “Uh, can you let go of me, please?” The gods he’s met have all been impressive, but this one in particular is possibly as big, if not bigger, than Bruce. It’s intimidating.

Ares hums and doesn’t move. “I’m not sure. Now that I’m finally holding you, I can’t seem to bring myself to let go.” He moves and pulls Tim closer so that their chests are against each other and braces the young man against him with one arm. The other runs up Tim’s side, getting a delightful shiver. “You are even more enticing in person, my dear. While I have admired the strength you bear in such a lithe body, I find myself appreciating it more upon closer examination.” His large hand runs down from his shoulder to caress his arm, prodding and manipulating to admire the musculature.

Tim isn’t normally so sensitive, but the position they’re in is not helping his heart calm down. “Lord Ares-“

“Just Ares, my dear,” he hums, Tim’s smaller hand in his as his thumb massages into the soft palm, digging into tension Tim hadn’t notice (or had been ignoring).

“A-Ares…” he fights against the urge to melt and let the massaging continue, or worse, like asking him to massage him elsewhere. Clearing his throat, he tries to compose himself, “Ares, please, um, let me down.”

The god hums and looks down, drawing Tim’s eyes to- to where his hand is clutching Ares’ chiton right against his pectoral. Choking, he lets go and tries to pull back, ignoring the pouting god. “I need- I have things I need to do, so please let me go.”

Still pouting, Ares tries to catch Tim’s gaze and fails, “Ah, alas. Alright, my dear, I will capitulate.”

Why is this man’s vocabulary so extravagant? Tim wonders, distracted once again. But the god does put him down, incredibly gently, to his surprise. He swats at the hand lingering on his hip and tries to ignore the god of war’s sad face. What is he now, a puppy?

“Are you really here to see me? Don’t you have something better to do?” He doesn’t mean to sound so accusing, but he’s flustered.

“I believe visiting a beloved hero such as yourself is a worthy cause on its own.” He chuckles at Tim’s flustering, “My dear Aphrodite has also been interested in meeting you.”

“Huh?”

“She originally intended to send me to kidnap you so we could spend some… time together more intimately.”

“WHA-?!”

“She made a bet with Athena, however, and it would seem that we lost. So, I will just have to enjoy this moment to share with her later.”

Tim gives up and just tries not to think too hard on the implications the war god is dropping like candy. He’s not unexperienced with such things, after all, and he can tell that if he tries anything, Ares will take the excuse to really kidnap him.

“Then I will ask you for one thing of you before I go, if I could.”

Hesitant, but desperately wishing to get out of this situation, Tim nods, “If it’s something I can do, sure.”

“Wonderful! Then, excuse me,” Ares gently grasps Tim’s chin and tilts it up. Leaning closer, the god grins at Tim’s wide eyes, “would you allow me a kiss?”

He asks, as their lips are already close enough that Tim can almost feel them already. But the much larger figure teases by keeping them millimeters apart, even nudging Tim’s nose with the point of his own. Finally realizing that he needed to respond, Tim releases his lower lip, not having noticed his nervous biting until then.

“I-“ he looks into sparkling ruby-red eyes and has to swallow. “Um, yes?” God, he’d meant to say no but he doesn’t regret it as the intimidating puppy before him beams and swoops down.

Again, Tim is pulled against the god of war by his waist and bent backwards as the god finally captures his lips. It’s an immediate and consuming heat that steals his breath away. The burning lips part for a heated tongue to stroke its way into Tim’s mouth, enticing, leaving him falling apart in Ares’ arms. All he can do is grip thick biceps weakly, trying not to melt.

Is it due to being Aphrodite’s lover? The other Olympians who’d managed to steal a kiss weren’t quite as…. Skilled? Intense? It’s hard to think of the right word with his brain melting under Ares’ talented tongue.

He’s not sure how long they stay like that, but Tim is breathing heavily by the time the separate. He blinks a few times, eventually managing to focus on Ares a minute later. On Ares, whose smug grin is both aggravating but also well-deserved. Instead of smacking him upside the head, Tim submits to his skills and just sighs. He pushes at the broad chest, still catching his breath, “Alright, you got what you wanted, so let go.”

“Alas,” the giant puppy sighs sadly, “I suppose I shouldn’t be too greedy, for now.” Tim doesn’t feel great about that “for now.” “Many thanks for the kiss, my gracious one. I will treasure this memory for a long time.”

“Yes, yes,” Tim pushes again, flustered, “Glad to help. Or- Ugh, just, if there’s nothing else, please go now, like you said you would.”

Ares lets him go slowly, reluctantly, but eventually Tim can take several steps away from the potential threat. “Alright, my dear, I will go. Hopefully I will be able to see you not too far into the future. Perhaps with my lover in tow?” He seems to consider it for a moment, before moving on. “Then I shall depart. Do think of me tonight, won’t you?”

With a flash that has Tim shielding his eyes, Ares disappears.

“Ugh,” he rubs his face after making sure the god had really gone, “damn it. He really got me, didn’t he?” Tim licks his lips, then flushes when he realizes what he just did. “Ugh, why did he have to be such a good kisser? That’s not fair.” After burying his face in his hands until he’d calmed down, he sighs and tries to pull himself back together.

Looking around, though, Tim realizes something.

He was on the roof of a building that had no easily visible access point. He was in civvies. And it was still only the afternoon.