Assortment of My Current Hyperfixations

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

They're all stealing your data.

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

he plead guilty

It looks like a kids show because it is a kids show. All of that stuff is stuff that kids like to see on tv and/or read about.

"I have a problem with my trans son. Not because he's trans, but because he inhaled all our food like fucking Kirby."

It's fun when the robot character in the sci-fi show gets cut in half because nobody working on this type of media knows anything about robotics and you never know what you're going to find inside. Green printed circuit boards? Meat and viscera, but like in a weird colour? Just a shitload of goo?

I especially like it when the robot appears to have realistic musculature which operates via contraction, suggesting some sort of fluid-driven or shape-memory-based actuation, and then it gets dismembered and a bunch of random gears and sprockets go flying everywhere.

I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I'm not going to stop

Absolurl I deranged, Derin. Food crimes.

It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first.

A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Derin who hurt you

A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

did ur mum get 2021 cruellaed

Yeah and now I'm in a war against food. I have to hunt down and kill Remy next.

I don't think you'll catch him. I think he'll smell that horrible sauce from miles afar and will run in the opposite direction. Jesus Christ Derin they sell sauce in jars you don't have to live like this.

I'm not buying that stuff I am a fancy chef

I've also been putting some chilli peppers in it.

i would like to start off by saying yes beans are normal food, i agree. but like, the wording implies you only use spice mixes ? and then maybe some additional spices you have on hand? surely sometimes you just grab whatever singular spices you have available to make your own custom mix? that being said frozen corn for when you're feeling fancy? why would anyone cook with corn for a sauce if it's not a chili

the thing about that weird stuff americans call cheese is that if you heat it a little it becomes an excellent burger condiment despite its failings in every other area. such is the fate of the american cultural product

the American 'cheese' slice was engineered by our best scientific minds (all borrowed from Germany ofc) to melt perfectly onto a burger and for nothing else. Its only purpose is to compliment the one true product of the American people. The hamburger. (also borrowed from Germany)

reeling a little at the implication that the Kraft Single was a product of operation paperclip

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

Bowling is where you are so disgusted with the coconut in your hand and with the jugs of milk at the other end of the room that you strike a figure skating pose to kill them both

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

World Heritage Post

Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors

Like unironically we should be subsidising at least 50% of their educations. What do you mean we have a shortage of doctors we should have surplus. What do you mean they’re being overworked they should be treated like royalty, they can fix human bodies

I don’t care if some of them are only doing it for the money. I don’t care if all of them are only doing it for the money. Intentions don’t matter to the stitches in my nana’s leg or the ten billion other lifesaving treatments we all get at a detriment to their finances and mental wellbeing. Entire cities are kept alive by just a couple thousand of them what are we DOINGGGGG

If we had more, maybe it would be easier to get the shitty ones fucking replaced. The board isn't going to do much to the only endocrinologist in the state who takes Medicaid, you know? But if there were more than, idk, maybe 5? Maybe then?

Y'all for real please do these. Even if you're certain your posture doesn't suck. One day you will wake up with impinged shoulder pain like I did and let me tell you it fucking HURTS. Do these exercises even just once a week and it will make such a difference. Especially my fellow creatives out there, stop shrimping over your work and go do these right now. RIGHT NOW.

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