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@autisticchangeiing

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the worst part of autism (for me) has got to be how shit it feels when plans get changed for reasons outside your control.
I can go from feeling happy and fine to feeling so completely unsafe and uncomfortable just because I found out that things can’t happen in the order I expected. and nobody seems to understand where my “melodramatic” reactions are coming from or why the routine matters so much to me
If only
Forest Friend and Ocean/Sea Friend Bears!
Two pretty obscure Care Bears!
Weighted blanket is not enough I need someone to do this to me
ID: A colourless digital drawing of a person being rolled flat by a rolling pin that is held by a pair of larger disembodied hands. end ID
This has been circyling around the autism community AND the chronic pain community. Target audience has been met

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Also people act like autistic people would have been, like, left in the woods to die or something as kids for most of history, but as i said i'm researching islamic saints and in both islam and christianity there's an awful lot of just, like, "Yeah that guy decided to go live in a cave by himself and wore one (1) article of clothing and sometimes he would walk around and scream randomly, it meant he was closer to god than everybody else"
I'd have to research this, but I kinda feel that, what with how much the eugenics movement pervaded everything for a huge chunk of recent history, our narrative of how disability was for much of history has gotten a little warped.
I feel like I always heard "yeah they assumed people were possessed by demons Back Then" but actually researching religious history? I've found a lot more of people seeing a person showing signs of (what we would call) neurodivergence or mental illness and being like "hm. yea that's god."
It's also definitely like...in the US anyway fundamentalism has absolutely decimated a lot of AWARENESS of what Christianity specifically can look like.
american evangelicalism is based a lot on Belief in your religion as axiomatic Fact and at the same time a very buddy-buddy view of god where Jesus is like, your cool dad. Both of which are not very good for allowing the numinous and divine "mystery" to exist
So I think we assume people throughout history would default to "things I don't understand are of the devil." when very often they would instead be "things I don't understand are of God."
and they would see someone speak in strange sounds or move his body strangely or respond differently to the world and see something divine in it, and there are instances of this across many religions
@invisibleoctopus There's this fascinating book about the cultural aspects of how mental illness presents called Crazy Like Us by Ethan Watters that is not without its flaws, but that (among other things) discusses how schizophrenic people do significantly better in cultures where there's a precedent/religious or spiritual explanation for people 'hearing voices' and such, because for one thing, they're not treated as social outcasts for it. Those environments are better equipped to help and accommodate those people on the basis of being able to keep them integrated into a community. At least according to the Ethan Watters guy.
The thing about imagining that autistic children would have been left to die for most of history is just... it's so lazy. And it betrays a huge failure to understand what autism looks like for autistic people and what daily life looked like in history at the same time. It's very frustrating.
There's this weird idea that autistics only develop special interests in this very narrow stereotypical STEM-field domain of life, also, which is total nonsense. Of course religion autistics are a thing. Judaism, too, has a lot of room for autistics: you develop very deep spheres of knowledge, about which you argue constantly, and prayer is sung and you get to move back and forth during it rhythmically.
The other thing that gets me is that it's not just that there's historical room to interpret weird behavior as Godly, it's that autistic people are relatively likely to come up with unusual ideas about people and how people do and should work. If you're talking about any theological tradition that involves contextual study and argument, you often find a very autistic sort of perspective writing the theology.
Also, just as a general data point: my stepdad, who is in his mid-70s, grew up in a rural farming community, and was never diagnosed with anything, is Obviously Autistic to anyone who knows what autism is.
He can only tolerate about 2 different fabrics against his skin.
And can only eat about 5 foods for obvious food texture reasons.
He hums softly and continually.
He never looks at people.
He has a bunch of other people-related sensitivities, like the inability to tolerate a lot of sounds and nearly all perfume smells.
He has about 3 topics of conversation, which are a) tractors, b) agriculture, and c) Rottweilers.
And you know what? He has had a nice long life of being a Rural Farmer and gets along great with other old farmer dudes who want to talk dogs-tractors-farming with him.
I mean, it’s generally understood that he is Weird, but also that he knows Really A Fucking Lot About Tractors. Which counts for everything in a rural farming community.
It goes beyond lazy into a type of downright cruelty. No matter how autistic people did or did not fit into their communities in the past, chances are someone loved them. When they were little, someone found the clothes they could tolerate and food they would eat and something they could do that matched their interests and abilities. And people married some of them and had children with them. Maybe not all of them, but some of them at least were loved.
We know this because archeology shows over and over again a great level of care and because these traits are still present - they had to get passed on somehow. And we know it because we too feel love for others, despite them constantly failing to live up to any ideal whatsoever.
Anyone who approaches other people with this attitude is only seeking to perpetuate an excuse to be cruel to them. It has nothing to do with what happened in the past and everything to do with what they hope they can get away with in the future. They discount the love that must have existed because it can’t be used against us.
OP how does it feel to be completely right? Have a flower 🌹 as a reward.
My dad was one of 8 kids raised rural in the Rocky Mountains. I remember my grandma telling me stories about him growing up, fond and still just mildly perplexed over memories of her strange little boy--the way she had to bake him a separate miniature pizza from his older siblings just so she could put the cheese on afterwards because he refused to eat melted cheese; the way he wouldn't take anything but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school for lunch his entire life even long after they had the money to eat better and his friends all grew up into more complex tastes; the way he was so dedicated to his after-school schedule that one day when his big sister was late to pick him up, this 6-year-old kid simply forged straight up the side of the mountain back to their home because it was The Time For Going Home and everyone thought he was lost for two frantic hours until he walked in the front door and quietly asked about dinner with no idea anything was off.
After I realised I was autistic and started exploring what that really meant, I thought back on my life growing up with my dad, understanding him in ways nobody else understood us--even my mom--and about stories like that from his youth, and realised how obviously autistic he is, too. But my grandma loved him and put in the extra care, on top of seven other kids to keep track of, to know what he liked and accommodate his needs.
His family just made room for him. His friends just made room for him. So he could still fit. They didn't know about autism but there was just a little my-dad-shaped space in a bunch of people's lives and that was fine.
And I think about how many people are just like that, and always have been when small communities are left to their own devices. Not all of them, not ever all when it comes to people, but so many. Whether it's someone with thoughts too big for their age who must have been gifted by the divine, or someone so impressively good at one thing that they become a local community resource, or just someone who is extremely serious about unmelted cheese. They still belonged.
We were a little strange or a lot strange, but we were still someone's. And as such we have so often been beloved. Humans, on the whole, take care of what's theirs, or at least try their best; if what's theirs is a bit different then they figure out how to accommodate that in practical ways. It's just not that hard. Whether they ever cared about what autism was or not, or why we are the way we are, we have been loved. That isn't a new concept, and the proposal that it is is horrifying and telling.
The only good reason for an autistic kid to get lost in the woods is because they are very committed to dinnertime. And everyone who loves them panics until they come home safe. Anyone who did otherwise would have been considered inhuman long before the modern day.
My comic for SENSORY: Life on the Spectrum! Organised by Schnumn.
On harm reduction and understanding NSSI! Many autistic folk have normalised harmful behaviours as coping mechanisms in our daily lives and this comic is meant to help people recognise their self injuring behaviours and (hopefully) begin to see pathways to reducing their frequency.
I hate the fact the autistic community almost never talks about self injury and agressive behaviors related to autism. I always see things from autism moms who want their child to stop hitting themselves, but not from autistic people themselves.
I think it's because it's typically associated with "severe" autism and autistic people with high support needs, so since the most visible autistic activists are not in this category they don't care.
But meanwhile I hit myself on the head every day. Every. Single. Day. I also bite my hands if I don't use my chew necklace. I wish I could stop doing that but apart from saying "not all stims are healthy and you should stop harming yourself" they don't suggest anything. And I'm really scared to injure myself really badly for doing that cause my skull hurts and I feel dizzy.
I do this to express frustration and anger, idk how to do it differently.
Same for agressive behaviors. When I was a child, I hit people when I was frustrated. I remember hitting my grandma's arm and my family having to leave earlier than intended because it was just too much. I was confused and scared and I felt so ashamed.
As I grew up I learnt to suppress these agressive behaviors...and direct them against myself.
I wish there were resources for that but I can't find anything.
Stimming isn't just flapping your hands and jumping. It's biting yourself, it's hitting yourself. It's hitting others. It's banging your head against the wall. Stimming isn't always cute, sometimes it's dangerous.
I just want to learn to stop hitting myself on the head cause it's dangerous and that hurts but nobody talks about it unless it's in meltdowns :( But for me it's not just during meltdowns it's all the time.
tl;dr: Autistic people need to talk more about stims that make you harm yourself like hitting yourself on the head. I don't know how to stop and I do it everyday. They also should talk more about agressive behaviors towards others and how to stop. And this outside of meltdowns. Cause it's not something we can control and it's hard.
I am a high support needs autistic person and I struggle with this a lot. I don't have meltdowns every single day (but honestly that's because I've got sensory aids and other things that help me prevent them) but I have them somewhat regularly and I frequently hit myself during them.
Something I've seen suggested by some people that autistic people hit themselves during meltdowns as a way to get deep pressure because hitting is deep pressure. So things like weighted blankets, vests, stuffies, and lap pads can help and so can things like harnesses, braces, tight fitting clothing, and other things that apply pressure to our bodies could possibly help.
Same with biting ourselves. I bite my hands and arms when I'm really overwhelmed (this doesn't happen as often as the hitting especially because I have chewies now and I try to keep them on me) and it has a similar affect because biting ourselves supplies deep pressure both on the area we are biting and on our jaws.
When I'm feeling the urge to hit myself I will use something weighted, chew on a chewy aggressively(especially ones that I can chew with by back teeth because it gives a lot of deep pressure.), Wrap something stretchy around one of my body parts (like one of the stretchy noodles around my arm or hand for example), wrap myself in a blanket, or one of my big go to's if I have a flat stretch of wall is to stand or sit against a wall and just rock back into it kind of gently (or not so gently depending on just how overwhelmed I am). I also head bang which isn't great for my head but the rocking into a wall thing can help with that urge to do that too.
Alternatively you could build a meltdown kit with things that would help you during meltdowns (sensory toys and aids, cards that suggest things to do when you are in a meltdown or after a meltdown, and a pillow for hitting. What goes in a meltdown kit will vary depending on what will help the person who needs it and it might take time to figure out what helps you.
I hope this helps (if you were wanting advice) and if you weren't wanting advice just know that I understand, I struggle with this too, and I wish more people aknowledged that self injurious stims are something that adult autistics struggle with too. I hope all this makes sense, I am extremely overwhelmed currently because I'm in pain and I'm dealing with brain fog.

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u can just rock back and forth if u want. its free
Let me tell you about my biggest brainwave yet
Behold, my DIY stim toy that I made today because I was needing a very specific type of stim.
I can put the ring on my finger to hold the thing steady and tangle my fingers around it (kinda like when playing with the laces on a pair of pijama pants or a hoodie or my hair), or I can hold the end of the string and spin the ring around and around as fast as possible!
My therapist suggested I make a stim box so… yeah
[ID: A length of fuzzy pink yarn; one end is tied to a small golden ring on a black background]
“dont romanticize adhd”
okay *sexualizes it instead*
:]

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One of the more rage-inducing things neurotypicals do is spend years drilling it into you to pay attention to what’s being implied instead of only what’s stated, but if you start to develop that skill and use it to point out when they’re being subtly shitty to you, they react like you’re just making shit up to slander them, doesn’t matter how thoughtfully you explain how you got to that conclusion, doesn’t matter how much benefit of the doubt you give them, the only response they will ever give is "but I did not say those literal exact words so obviously I could not have meant or been thinking anything like that. Stop putting words in my mouth"
They THOUGHT they wanted me to read between the lines and understand what they weren’t saying, but then they realized that what they actually wanted was for me for to simply behave in the ways they expected without having to communicate those expectations to me.
Understanding leads to opinion having, and they never like it when I have opinions on How They Do Things.