the stars, they aligned

First work day was when I was 16, as a grocery store cashier. The work was uncomplicated but I was so bad at all the little tasks. I felt stupid.

Customers were nice and patient with me, because it was clearly my first day, training.

Soul probably deflowered gradually over the course of the shift. Managers seemed annoyed with me for no reason in particular, coworkers were strange, surly over minutiae. Building was ugly. Realized in one shift I would have 10 minutes to eat and decompress. Standing at the register was both annoying and under stimulating. I worried about my brain and body being too idle for too long, and the long term effects it could have on me. Looking at people who had worked there for years, decades, they looked perma-tired. The day really dragged on and on, even though it was probably only a 6 hour shift.

Also I was paid $8 an hour! And I didn't know anything but to be grateful.

Truly wanted to quit after just one shift, it just didn't feel like somewhere I could spend so many days of my life. but what choice do you have for supporting yourself having no other real skills. I think I felt actual grief over realizing that this easy, entry level job was so unbearably hard for me.