#past self

I don't even know who I used to be

Hello and welcome to this new reading. In here I will tell you important things your past self wants you to remember. I hope you enjoy and find this helpful. You matter.

masterpost | paid readings | patreon masterlist

the extended version of this reading and 100+ more exclusive and extended readings are found on my patreon, the link of which is here

Divider credit: @uzmacchiato

Pile 1:

It is important for you to know that you deserve to speak up more, and you deserve to be heard. This is because so often you hold back, you stay quiet, and you let others talk over you even when you have something valuable to say. You care so much about keeping the peace, about being kind, about being understanding, that sometimes you forget that your thoughts, your feelings, and your voice are just as important as anyone else’s. People can sense that you are gentle and accommodating, or at least that you are someone who does not like to make waves. And if you aren’t careful, people will take that for granted. You might be ignored, interrupted, or overlooked, not because your words aren’t worthy, but because you haven’t given yourself permission to insist that they matter. You are a beautiful person who deserves love, kindness, and respect, because in all honesty, you also need attention and care. You just need to believe in yourself more, to trust your own voice more, and to realise how much strength and truth you carry. You need to keep speaking out about the things that matter to you and understand that it is not selfish to do so. Most of the people around you are there to support you, to notice when something is wrong, or to care when you are being ignored. So trust yourself, and trust them when they encourage you to stand up, when they remind you that your voice deserves to be heard. You also have a tendency to attract people who are kind, warm, and nurturing, someone whose energy makes you feel safe and understood.

extended reading | paid readings

Thank you for reading my post! If you liked it don't forget to like, comment or reblog!🩵

Pile 2:

You should not give up on your dreams, ever, because you are worth becoming successful in the way you wish. This is because so often you doubt yourself, you compare yourself to others, and you worry that you do not have everything figured out yet. But the truth is that you do not need to have everything planned, measured, or perfect in order to end up in the place you want to be, even if you are not sure exactly where that place is yet. People can sense that you are thoughtful, careful, and diligent, or at least that you are someone who takes things seriously and tries to do them right. And if you aren’t careful, you might let those doubts stop you before you even start. You are worthy, smart, and intelligent, and just because something takes time or you need help with things that might seem simple to others, it does not mean you are incapable of achieving whatever you wish. You are capable, and you are allowed to grow at your own pace, to learn as you go, and to ask for help when you need it without shame or hesitation. You need to keep trusting yourself and understand that needing support does not make you weak, it makes you human. Most people around you are there to help you, to offer guidance, or to notice when something could be easier if you reach out. So trust them, and trust yourself when you take the steps forward, even small ones, because every step counts. You also have a tendency to attract challenges, moments when things feel unfair, when it seems like the world is working against you, and while this can be frustrating, it is also fuel.

extended reading | paid readings

Thank you for reading my post! If you liked it don't forget to like, comment or reblog!🩵

Pile 3

You need to stop being so hard on yourself just because others are. This is not your fault, and it does not reflect who you are. You do not deserve people treating you poorly, criticizing you, or making you feel small, yet somehow you let it settle in, you take it all in, and you carry it with you as if it is yours to hold. You are strong, you are capable, and you are worthy of better than that. You can quit the things that do not bring you joy. You can step away from people, even those who call themselves friends or family, if they treat you like you are less than, if they hold you down or dim your light. You can do the things you want to do without asking for permission, without worrying about what others will think, without needing anyone else’s approval. You are your own person, and you do not need to shrink yourself to make space for people who do not value you. It is okay to prioritize yourself, it is okay to protect your energy, and it is okay to choose peace over conflict, even if that means walking away. You have allowed yourself to be weighed down for too long, and you deserve the opposite. You deserve to be lifted, to be seen, and to be supported. You deserve people who bring out the best in you, not those who make you feel like you are never enough. And the amazing thing is, when you allow yourself to be yourself fully, when you show the world who you are on the outside without hiding or apologizing for it, the people who are good for you will find you naturally.

extended reading | paid readings

💙 Genre: Romcom • Time-Travel AU • Fluff • Mystery • Slice of Life

💙 Synopsis: Y/N’s ordinary university life turns upside down when she meets a suspiciously familiar stranger who somehow knows her coffee order, habits, fears—and future. The truth? He’s Lee Heeseung… her husband from ten years ahead. While trying desperately not to spoil their future love story, Future Heeseung only makes things worse by accidentally revealing pieces of their married life, falling for her all over again, and causing absolute chaos across timelines.

💙 WC: 5.8k!

🌷ꫝ Note: This is purely fictional—please don’t link it to real life. Kindly don’t copy or repost. Read and enjoy ♡

Part2 , Part 3

Part1

The rain in Seoul never really fell politely.

It crashed against windows, flooded alleyways, soaked sneakers, and turned the city silver under neon lights.

And right now, it was personally ruining your life.

You stood outside the convenience store near your university dorm, clutching a cup of ramen and glaring at the broken umbrella in your hand like it had betrayed your bloodline.

“Traitor,” you muttered.

“Pretty sure the umbrella didn’t ask to be born.”

You whipped around.

A man stood beside the drink refrigerator under the store awning, tall and broad-shouldered in a black hoodie and cap. His hands were tucked into his pockets casually, but his smile—

His smile looked unfairly familiar.

Soft. Warm. Slightly teasing.

Dangerous.

You narrowed your eyes.

“I know you from somewhere.”

The stranger immediately choked on his iced coffee.

“Oh no.”

“…What?”

“I mean—no, you don’t.”

“That sounded suspicious.”

“No, it didn’t.”

“It absolutely did.”

The man rubbed his face dramatically like he was already exhausted by you, and somehow that annoyed you more.

Then he looked at your broken umbrella again.

“You still buy the cheap ones,” he sighed.

You blinked.

“…How do you know this isn’t my first cheap umbrella?”

His expression froze.

A beat passed.

Then another.

“…Lucky guess.”

Weird.

Very weird.

You should’ve walked away right there.

Instead, for some completely irrational reason, you found yourself staring at him longer.

Because beneath the cap and hoodie— beneath the annoyingly handsome face—

there was something heartbreakingly familiar about him.

Like déjà vu wrapped in warmth.

Like remembering someone before meeting them.

And for some reason—

your chest hurt a little.

—

Your life was not exciting.

At least, not in the cinematic-drama sense.

You were a university photography major surviving off caffeine, instant ramen, and the stubborn belief that things would eventually work out. Your tiny apartment was always cluttered with camera rolls, sticky notes, and half-finished projects. Your best friend Chaewon claimed your room looked “artistically concerning.”

You preferred “organized chaos.”

Most days were simple.

Morning classes. Editing photos at cafés. Late-night walks. Arguing with your cat Dori who believed your laptop belonged to him.

Your life was ordinary.

Comfortable.

Lonely sometimes, maybe.

But ordinary.

Then the strange man appeared.

And suddenly your life started acting like a time-travel romcom written by sleep-deprived lunatics.

—

The second time you saw him was three days later.

You were carrying three iced americanos and one box of pastries into the university media building when someone suddenly grabbed your elbow.

“Careful.”

You stumbled just as a soccer ball came flying across the hallway.

Your drinks survived.

Barely.

You looked up.

Black hoodie again.

Familiar smile again.

“Oh my god,” you deadpanned. “Umbrella guy.”

He looked offended.

“That’s what I’m called now?”

“You never told me your name.”

“…Right.”

He stared at you for one long second.

Like he was debating something internally.

Then finally—

“Heeseung.”

Your breath caught.

Not because the name was special.

But because somehow…

it fit him too perfectly.

“Y/N.”

“I know.”

Silence.

You frowned.

“You know?”

His soul visibly left his body.

“I—” He pointed randomly. “Your ID card.”

You looked down.

Your ID card was indeed hanging from your bag.

“…Right.”

Smooth.

Very smooth.

Heeseung coughed awkwardly.

From behind you, your friend Sunghoon appeared carrying camera equipment.

“Y/N! Did you—”

He stopped dead.

His eyes widened at Heeseung.

And then—

“Why do you look exactly like—”

Heeseung slapped a hand over Sunghoon’s mouth so fast it looked rehearsed.

“HAHA anyway!” Heeseung laughed nervously. “Nice weather today.”

It was literally storming outside.

You stared.

Sunghoon stared.

Heeseung stared at the floor like he regretted existing.

Suspicious.

So suspicious.

—

Turns out, Heeseung was somehow everywhere after that.

At your favorite café.

At the bookstore you liked.

At the riverside park near campus.

Always accidentally.

Always acting surprised.

Always knowing things he absolutely should not know.

Like your coffee order.

Your favorite songs.

The fact you cried during animated movies but denied it aggressively.

“The fox dies!” you defended one evening.

“It’s been ten years,” Heeseung said.

You froze.

“…Ten years?”

“…Since the movie released,” he corrected immediately.

You narrowed your eyes.

“Right.”

He smiled nervously.

He was terrible at lying.

And weirdly—

you found it adorable.

—

“You know,” Chaewon said one night while laying upside down on your bed, “either he’s a stalker or he’s in love with you.”

Dori meowed judgmentally.

“I barely know him.”

“You literally smile every time he texts.”

“I do not.”

Chaewon held up your phone.

Your contact name for him:

Tall Weird Guy ☂️

Underneath it: three unread messages.

Tall Weird Guy ☂️: don’t forget your charger tomorrow

Tall Weird Guy ☂️: and bring a jacket

Tall Weird Guy ☂️: you’ll complain about being cold later

You stared.

“…How did he know I forgot my charger?”

Chaewon slowly sat up.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“He’s your future husband.”

You threw a pillow at her face.

—

The universe apparently heard that joke and decided:

Excellent idea.

Because the truth arrived two days later.

At 2:13 AM.

During a blackout.

Of course.

You woke to noises in your apartment kitchen.

Instant panic.

You grabbed the nearest weapon available—

a frying pan—

and stormed out dramatically.

“WHOEVER YOU ARE—”

The kitchen light flickered on.

And there he was.

Heeseung.

Standing in your kitchen.

Holding Dori.

Who looked deeply unbothered.

You nearly fainted.

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY APARTMENT?!”

“Okay before you panic—”

“TOO LATE!”

He winced.

Fair.

“You left your window unlocked.”

“THAT DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.”

“It does in my timeline.”

Silence.

“…Your what?”

He realized his mistake instantly.

Too late.

You pointed the frying pan at him accusingly.

“…Timeline.”

He stared at the ceiling.

“Future me warned me this would happen.”

You blinked.

“Future…you?”

Another silence.

Then Heeseung sighed the sigh of a man who had lost a war long ago.

“…I’m your husband.”

Your frying pan dropped.

Dori meowed.

The lights flickered dramatically like even electricity wanted gossip.

“…Excuse me?”

“Future husband,” he corrected weakly.

You stared at him.

Then laughed.

Then laughed harder.

Then stopped when he didn’t laugh back.

“…You’re serious.”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re insane.”

“Also yes.”

—

Apparently time travel was real.

Apparently future technology was irresponsible.

And apparently future Lee Heeseung was terrible at following rules.

“Why are you HERE?” you whisper-yelled while pacing your apartment.

He sat cross-legged on your couch looking exhausted.

“Because future Jay dared me.”

“…Who’s Jay?”

“My best friend.”

“Your best friend encourages crimes?”

“You marry into the chaos eventually.”

You stared.

“Stop saying things like that!”

“Sorry.”

“…Do I really marry you?”

He looked at you then.

Really looked at you.

And suddenly all teasing disappeared.

His expression softened into something unbearably gentle.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “You do.”

Your heart did something deeply unprofessional.

—

Future Heeseung was twenty-nine.

Present Heeseung was nineteen.

Which explained several things.

Future Heeseung was calmer. Broader shoulders. Softer eyes. More confident.

But also somehow more whipped.

You discovered this immediately.

“Don’t eat instant ramen for breakfast.”

“How do you know I was going to—”

“Because you always do when stressed.”

“…Stop knowing things!”

“You snore when sick too.”

You gasped.

“I do NOT.”

“You absolutely do.”

“Lies.”

“You drool a little too.”

“GET OUT.”

He laughed so hard he nearly fell off your couch.

And annoyingly—

his laugh made your apartment feel warmer.

—

The problem with Future Heeseung was that he genuinely tried not to spoil things.

He just sucked at it.

Very badly.

“You’ll love Paris.”

“What?”

“…Nothing.”

“You said Paris.”

“…Did I?”

“LEE HEESEUNG.”

Or:

“You shouldn’t cut your hair short.”

“…I was literally thinking about that.”

“…Oops.”

Or worse:

One night while watching movies together, you fell asleep against his shoulder.

Half-asleep yourself, you mumbled, “You smell nice.”

And Future Heeseung smiled unconsciously before whispering—

“You say that every night.”

Silence.

Then his eyes widened in horror.

Your eyes opened slowly.

“…Every night?”

“…I can explain.”

“You share my BED?!”

“We’re married!”

“THAT DOESN’T HELP!”

—

Yet somehow…

despite the chaos…

you started liking him more every day.

Maybe because he knew exactly when your social battery died.

Maybe because he remembered tiny things nobody else noticed.

Maybe because he looked at you like you were home.

Or maybe—

because every time you doubted yourself—

he spoke like someone who had already watched you survive.

“You’re going to become incredible,” he told you one evening while helping organize your photography portfolio.

You snorted.

“Sure.”

“I mean it.”

“You’re biased.”

“I’ve seen it.”

Something in his voice made you pause.

“You really know my future.”

“Every version of it that mattered.”

Your chest tightened strangely.

“You make it sound…important.”

He smiled softly.

“You are important.”

And suddenly the room felt too small for your heartbeat.

—

Then things got worse.

Because Present Heeseung finally appeared.

Actual nineteen-year-old Lee Heeseung.

And he had no idea why you were staring at him like you’d seen him shirtless emotionally.

Present Heeseung was chaos.

Loud. Competitive. Flirty.

Completely unlike Future Heeseung’s calmer warmth.

Yet undeniably the same person.

You met him through Sunghoon at a university music event.

And the second Present Heeseung saw you—

he froze.

Future Heeseung, hidden behind a vending machine nearby, whispered aggressively:

“OH NO.”

You ignored the voice of your future husband losing his mind.

Present Heeseung walked over slowly.

“…Hi.”

Your heart skipped.

Same eyes.

Same smile.

Different timeline.

“You’re Y/N, right?”

Before you could answer—

Future Heeseung accidentally smacked into the vending machine.

BANG.

Everyone turned.

Present Heeseung blinked.

“…Why does that guy look exactly like me?”

Future Heeseung: “BECAUSE ASIANS—”

“HEESEUNG,” you hissed.

Too late.

Present Heeseung squinted harder.

“…Wait.”

Future Heeseung grabbed your wrist.

“We need to leave.”

You burst into laughter as he dragged you out of the building while internally dying.

—

“You are handling this horribly,” you informed him later.

“I know.”

“You literally yelled ‘because Asians.’”

“I PANICKED.”

You laughed so hard you cried.

And Heeseung—

your impossible future husband—

just watched you with helpless affection.

Like your laughter was still his favorite sound after ten years.

Maybe forever.

—

The real problem began when you started falling for him before you were supposed to.

Because Future Heeseung knew you.

Completely.

Every fear. Every habit. Every hidden scar.

And he treated every version of you gently.

Even the messy ones.

Especially the messy ones.

One rainy evening, after a horrible fight with your parents over your career choices, you sat silently by the Han River trying not to cry.

Future Heeseung found you immediately.

Of course he did.

“You disappear here when overwhelmed,” he said softly.

You didn’t answer.

He sat beside you quietly.

No pressure. No forced comfort.

Just warmth beside you in the rain.

Then—

“You become happy, you know.”

Your throat tightened.

“You keep saying future things like they solve everything.”

“I know.” He looked at the river. “But sometimes I think younger you deserves reassurance too.”

Your eyes burned.

“What if I fail?”

“You won’t.”

“You can’t know that.”

He smiled faintly.

“I married you.” A pause. “You’re terrifyingly stubborn.”

You laughed through tears.

And then—

without thinking—

you leaned against him.

His arms wrapped around you instinctively.

Like they’d done it a thousand times before.

Maybe they had.

And for one impossible moment—

past, present, and future all blurred together.

—

The mystery unraveled slowly after that.

Future Heeseung wasn’t supposed to stay long.

The timeline was unstable.

Every interaction risked changing things.

But he kept staying anyway.

For you.

Which was apparently very on-brand according to future Jake, who appeared exactly once through a hologram call just to yell:

“BRO STOP FLIRTING WITH YOUR WIFE IN THE PAST.”

“I’M NOT.”

“You LOOKED AT HER FOR TWENTY MINUTES.”

“She was talking!”

“You were staring like a divorced man seeing sunlight again!”

The call disconnected.

You stared at Heeseung.

“…Divorced?”

Heeseung looked horrified.

“NOT DIVORCED.” A beat. “Future Jake is dramatic.”

“Am I dramatic too in the future?”

“You once cried because we accidentally bought the wrong bread.”

“…I knew it.”

—

The closer his departure got—

the quieter Heeseung became.

Like he was trying to memorize you all over again.

One night, while walking home together beneath glowing streetlights, you finally asked:

“Do you regret meeting me early?”

He stopped walking.

Rain shimmered softly around the city.

And Heeseung looked at you with ten years of love in his eyes.

“Never.”

Your chest hurt again.

That terrible beautiful ache.

“What happens now?”

He smiled sadly.

“Now you meet me properly.”

“…Present Heeseung?”

“Yeah.”

“Will he still fall for me?”

He laughed softly.

“Instantly.” Then he leaned closer. “Unfortunately for him, you’re impossible to resist.”

Your face burned.

“You flirt too much for a married man.”

“I flirt exactly enough.”

—

The goodbye happened at dawn.

Of course it did.

Every important thing seemed to happen at dawn.

The time device flickered weakly beside the riverside.

Future Heeseung stood across from you, hands shoved in his coat pockets like he was trying to act normal.

Failing terribly.

“You’ll forget some of this,” he admitted quietly.

“What?”

“Time protects itself.” He smiled sadly. “But feelings remain.”

Your eyes stung unexpectedly.

“That’s unfair.”

“I know.”

A silence.

Then—

He stepped forward.

Pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

Warm. Lingering. Familiar.

Like coming home before ever leaving.

And suddenly—

you understood.

Why future him looked at you like that.

Why his voice softened around your name.

Why he crossed timelines just to see you again.

Because somewhere in the future—

you became each other’s favorite person.

Always.

“See you soon, Y/N.”

Light swallowed him whole.

And he was gone.

—

Three weeks later—

you nearly dropped your camera when Present Heeseung sat beside you at the café.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“About what?”

“Our first date.”

Your heart skipped.

“…First?”

He grinned.

“Unless future me already messed this up somehow.”

You froze.

“…What?”

Present Heeseung blinked.

Then slowly smiled.

“Oh.”

“Oh WHAT?!”

He laughed brightly.

And suddenly—

you saw it.

The same warmth. The same affection. The same inevitable love.

Just younger.

“Wow,” he teased. “You really did fall for me first.”

You groaned dramatically.

“I hate your future self.”

“Impossible.” He leaned closer. “You marry me.”

And despite everything—

you laughed.

Because somehow…

you knew he was right.

I am the final dawn, I am the flood

THE TRUTH IS-

I WANT.

TO WANT.

TO LIVE.

AND SO DO YOU.

-

IF WE ARE TO BE SUBMERGED

LET US BE SUBMERGED