womp

i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3

unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it

i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map

i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs

this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.

crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.

your device pronounces a word wrong. laughter. its fine, just go with it. but thats not what you meant. the meaning is changed. you type it differently, hoping to trick the program into saying it right. it doesnt.

your device bugs. you have to use a voice that does not match how you feel inside. you feel dysphoric like you did before you went on t. laughter from others. its fine because it has to be.

someone makes a bigoted remark to another person. you are typing as fast as you can - "that's not okay, you need to apologize" - your hands are shaking with the effort to be fast. the conversation moves on before you can hit "play". harm has been done and you have no control over it.

you navigate through a few folders. you want the word "sun". you keep hitting the button next to it, cloud. you hit delete. try again. you hit cloud. delete. try again. you hit cloud. over and over again. your body seems to have a mind of its own. it is frustrating. it is so so easy for everyone else.

your tablet is in the other room and you are trying to fingerspell. you want to sign "d". you see the shape your hand needs to be in in your mind. you keep signing "f". your hand will not make the correct finger go up and the rest go down.

the other person is trying to be patient. but theyre not. theyre frustrated. theyre trying not to show it. theyre frustrated. theyre frustrated. it radiates out from their body and makes your blood run cold. you're nauseous. you are always waiting for someone to lose their patience. it has happened before. it will happen again.