The Pizza is Aggressive

Having a crush on a character who isn't conventionally attractive to the average person is a humiliation ritual like yes i know my husband is fucking ugly so what

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

I don't know how to articulate this well, but I really fucking hate the way a lot of thin writers write fat characters. Like how men write women "breasting boobily" there is something so dehumanizing about how fat characters are often written. "He waddled", "he lumbered", the writer of the book I'm reading always mentions this characters "fleshy hand" when he does something with his hand. Like, we already know that he's fat. There is no need to describe everything he does as "doing it fatly".

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

This person being over 40yo has shaken me to my core

you need to understand that i have two sets of headcanons. there's the set of realistic headcanons based on my genuine reading of the show, and then there's me playing pretend with my dolls.

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

David Cleary!

Never a better time for the Streisand Effect than when it's a government covering up acts of brutality and evil.

if you complain about the Chinese government covering up Tianamen Square, then complain about this, too.

Actually when I say “fuck all billionaires” I particularly mean Taylor “having my wedding in the middle of the busiest city in the world on the busiest weekend in the world in the part of the city the majority of commuters need to get through because fuck working people” Swift